Stephen King's The Dark Tower

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Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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He is reviewing a series of Stephen King movies in prep for the Dark Tower. This is pretty fucking hilarious.

 
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Mudcrush Durtfeet

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Don't think were mentioned: Apt Pupil, Needful Things, Fire Starter, The Dead Zone, Christine.

Did anyone mention Carrie?

It turns out that there are in fact a lot of good movies based on King's work.
 
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Chukzombi

Millie's Staff Member
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Don't think were mentioned: Apt Pupil, Needful Things, Fire Starter, The Dead Zone, Christine.

Did anyone mention Carrie?

It turns out that there are in fact a lot of good movies based on King's work.
yep. here's to hoping The Talisman, Eyes of The Dragon and The Dark Tower get adapted into REAL movies in the future.

virtue signalling larps dont count.
 

Dr.Retarded

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that movie was so terrible. i rather watch The Mangler again than that crap.

Hey, The Mangler wasn't bad, it had Buffalo-fucking-Bill. Best is probably The Mist, or any of the other Frank Darabont adaptations. Christine is up there, because Carpenter knows how to make a film. Problem is you get start watching all the made for TV mini-series, and while some are worse then others, they're still made for TV.

I do think SciFi did a Salem's Lot and a The Shining mini-series, and they weren't half bad. Much more faithful to the novels then the other iterations.
 
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Chukzombi

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Hey, The Mangler wasn't bad, it had Buffalo-fucking-Bill. Best is probably The Mist, or any of the other Frank Darabont adaptations. Christine is up there, because Carpenter knows how to make a film. Problem is you get start watching all the made for TV mini-series, and while some are worse then others, they're still made for TV.

I do think SciFi did a Salem's Lot and a The Shining mini-series, and they weren't half bad. Much more faithful to the novels then the other iterations.
TV made some damned good movies back in the day. Salem's Lot is pretty creepy for a tv film. Dark Night of The Scarecrow, while not a SK adaption is one of the scariest films i saw as a kid.
 
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Arbitrary

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It's bad but I have some fondness for the miniseries Rose Red. It's basically what you would get if a hack wrote a sequel to The Shining while ripping off Matheson's Hell House. All of the basic rules of The Shining are there but everything is just bigger. If you die in the house you become trapped/corrupted by it, people see creepy shit and visions of what happened in the past, etc.

A professor specializing in the paranormal brings a group of psychics to a house believed to be haunted including an autistic child with mega psychic powers. As they are in the house longer and longer it becomes more powerful until shit gets cray cray.

Some of the practical effects used are the same style as those used for the crypt keeper in Tales from the Crypt and are pretty good.
 

Voyce

Shit Lord Supreme
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that movie was so terrible. i rather watch The Mangler again than that crap.

These are the movies that scared me when I was a kid.

Troll 2 was top of the list.

Phantasm et. al. they scared me because I was young and impressionable and couldn't understand what the hell was going on.

As an adult you have the ability to rationalize that the movie makes no sense at all, but as a child....

"wait someone can just rip your hand off your body?"
 
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Arbitrary

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Phantasm et. al. they scared me because I was young and impressionable and couldn't understand what the hell was going on.

JJ Abrams helped the remastered 4k version of Phantasm get made. If you haven't seen it in a while give it a go. It's still pretty odd as an adult.
 
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Voyce

Shit Lord Supreme
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Horror movies don't do anything for me anymore.

Now video games like Alien Isolation!
 

Chukzombi

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JJ Abrams helped the remastered 4k version of Phantasm get made. If you haven't seen it in a while give it a go. It's still pretty odd as an adult.
i saw that when i was 9, my dad didnt want to watch scary movies by himself when he could also terrify his young son. it really made me hate jawas
 

Dr.Retarded

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The Phantasm movies are great. They were a huge labor of love for Don Coscarelli. I know there was talk of remaking them (maybe JJ was involved) back in the early 2000's I think, and they had were planning to make them the "Starwars" of horror films. Guess that shit never got off the ground, but despite them very sub B-movie for production values, they're still enjoyable if you're a fan. Think the second is my favorite. Reggie and Mike making fucked up homemade flame throwers and quad-barrel shotguns is pretty awesome when you're 8 years old.
 
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Arbitrary

Tranny Chaser
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Phantasm and Phantasm 2 are the first horror films I have any memory of seeing where it felt like the villain won. I don't mean a Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Carrie style twist jump scare ending. Sure, there's some of that in Phantasm to be sure but these are movies where our heroes are just up against something impossible the entire time and in the end they do the only thing they could do in the face of such horrors - they fail. It's probably where the initial seeds of my enjoyment of Lovecraftian elements was planted. There's shit you just can't deal with. Maybe you can struggle against the darkness for a while but in the end the darkness always wins.

There's worse ways to go out than quad barrel shotgunning down inter-dimensional dwarves though.
 
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Dr.Retarded

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I agree, they sure do fail, and the movies get bleaker and bleaker as they go on. They're just some shitty random friends dealing with a cosmic horror. Reggie narrates that the Tall Man has been moving across the country and towns are abandoned, and you get this sense of a greater apocalyptic narrative happening. Don't think you see that, and there's a legitimate absence of extras in the film all due to budget, but it was always a neat idea (think they touch on it in part 3 the most).

Still the heroes show back up in the next film for whatever reason, and you're there to hope that maybe shit will work out this time. I rewatched all the films when part 5 was coming out on VOD. They're not perfect, but it's a good time with a bottle of whisky and some old friends. You should give it a go, Arbitrary. I think the final film was a nice way to wrap things up...or have they...dun dun dun...
 
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Rime

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The 'Phantasm' series was one of my favorites growing up. It was so bleak and the good guys did not win. It was amazing. The flying balls were terrifying for their era.
 
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Chukzombi

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The Langoliers is bad but in a way that's still entertaining.
balki saved that turkey
ar4BIS.gif
 
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