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Campbell1oo4

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
1,930
6,136
Got an apartment on the top floor of my building. Skylights, wide windows, and a great view of the mountains. Been in here for about a week.

Now my employer wants to move me to the second floor to live with two others guys because some chick decided to bring her dog.
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Rustled
Reactions: 1 users

Palum

what Suineg set it to
23,166
32,748
Got an apartment on the top floor of my building. Skylights, wide windows, and a great view of the mountains. Been in here for about a week.

Now my employer wants to move me to the second floor to live with two others guys because some chick decided to bring her dog.

Tell them you're trans and would be happy to bunk with a fellow woman, but unfortunately you're allergic to dogs.
 
  • 2Solidarity
  • 1Jew
  • 1Like
Reactions: 3 users

Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm
11,333
5,322
Got an apartment on the top floor of my building. Skylights, wide windows, and a great view of the mountains. Been in here for about a week.

Now my employer wants to move me to the second floor to live with two others guys because some chick decided to bring her dog.

I don't follow.

Are you in a commune?
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,427
11,875
Is she cute? Maybe you should go buy a dog too.
 
  • 1Dislike
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 users

Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,790
1,633
Person (group of people) I'm supposed to meet is/are more than 30 minutes late, but they're important and im supposed to wait.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

cabbitcabbit

NeoGaf Donator
2,595
7,742
Got an apartment on the top floor of my building. Skylights, wide windows, and a great view of the mountains. Been in here for about a week.

Now my employer wants to move me to the second floor to live with two others guys because some chick decided to bring her dog.

I got news about your employer and this lady...
 
  • 2Worf
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 2 users

Morsakin

Golden Knight of the Realm
384
118
People in Houston going apeshit and swarming every gas station / grocery store / Target etc. like Mad Max is right around the corner.
 
  • 2Worf
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 2 users

Zaara

I'm With HER ♀
1,601
7,481
New thing: people walking in the streets, with traffic, ignoring the fact they are blocking said traffic, because not one of these poor motherfuckers has a car and needs to take it out on everyone else by 'defying' status quo by walking 4 feet away from the sidewalks. Running 6 deep with your fucking arms waving and babbling.

And no, motherfucker. The music is blaring because I don't want to hear whatever it is that you're yelling at me, just like the three fucks dressed identically like you at the other stoplight, one standing in the street at the corner, boxered ass purposefully stuck out there so people have to drive around you/acknowledge your existence. I didn't understand your inarticulate AY YO MO FUK pidgin yelling the first 3 times today someone felt the need to holler at a complete fucking stranger.
 
  • 2Solidarity
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 2 users

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,427
11,875
Only if you get caught. Did the company report itself?
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

Burren

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
4,005
5,251
New thing: people walking in the streets, with traffic, ignoring the fact they are blocking said traffic, because not one of these poor motherfuckers has a car and needs to take it out on everyone else by 'defying' status quo by walking 4 feet away from the sidewalks. Running 6 deep with your fucking arms waving and babbling.

And no, motherfucker. The music is blaring because I don't want to hear whatever it is that you're yelling at me, just like the three fucks dressed identically like you at the other stoplight, one standing in the street at the corner, boxered ass purposefully stuck out there so people have to drive around you/acknowledge your existence. I didn't understand your inarticulate AY YO MO FUK pidgin yelling the first 3 times today someone felt the need to holler at a complete fucking stranger.

Oh no, he jumped at your car and attacked you. You didn't have time to swerve. Everyone saw it. Poor Dindu didn't have a chance.
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

Aaron

Goonsquad Officer
<Bronze Donator>
8,028
17,684
My work just managed the impossible: find an even more shittier toilet paper than they previously used. The industrial quality paper is now so thin and has such little tactile strength that it routinely sticks to my bum and rips off to leave a tendril hanging from my arse that I then have to try and fish out without it ripping even smaller. The cardboard tubing the toilet paper is rolled onto is also somehow specially designed to be as rough as possible so it doesn't roll smoothly over the plastic holder, so you have to open the god damn toilet paper holder casing, remove the huge roll, and manually unroll and tear off sheets.

Shit would be impressive if it wasn't so god damn retarded and annoying.
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Rustled
Reactions: 1 users

Palum

what Suineg set it to
23,166
32,748
My work just managed the impossible: find an even more shittier toilet paper than they previously used. The industrial quality paper is now so thin and has such little tactile strength that it routinely sticks to my bum and rips off to leave a tendril hanging from my arse that I then have to try and fish out without it ripping even smaller. The cardboard tubing the toilet paper is rolled onto is also somehow specially designed to be as rough as possible so it doesn't roll smoothly over the plastic holder, so you have to open the god damn toilet paper holder casing, remove the huge roll, and manually unroll and tear off sheets.

Shit would be impressive if it wasn't so god damn retarded and annoying.

Does the company that makes those useless brown paper towels also make toilet paper?

Would the British Army use that? Like the red uniforms so you can't see blood...
 
  • 1Jew
Reactions: 1 user

k^M

Blackwing Lair Raider
2,676
1,921
My work just managed the impossible: find an even more shittier toilet paper than they previously used. The industrial quality paper is now so thin and has such little tactile strength that it routinely sticks to my bum and rips off to leave a tendril hanging from my arse that I then have to try and fish out without it ripping even smaller. The cardboard tubing the toilet paper is rolled onto is also somehow specially designed to be as rough as possible so it doesn't roll smoothly over the plastic holder, so you have to open the god damn toilet paper holder casing, remove the huge roll, and manually unroll and tear off sheets.

Shit would be impressive if it wasn't so god damn retarded and annoying.

This shit is ridiculous. Worked for a company that grossed 100m+ and they bought the shittiest toilet paper imaginable. I would not be surprised if this was a corporate accounting 101 rule, discourage employees from using the bathroom by using the worst possible TP
 
  • 1Jew
  • 1Blown
Reactions: 1 users

Palum

what Suineg set it to
23,166
32,748
This shit is ridiculous. Worked for a company that grossed 100m+ and they bought the shittiest toilet paper imaginable. I would not be surprised if this was a corporate accounting 101 rule, discourage employees from using the bathroom by using the worst possible TP

If I owned any type of business: shitty TP and faraday cage in the bathroom. Oh and make the women's room the one for as genders just for funsies.
 
  • 1Worf
  • 1Jew
  • 1Salty
Reactions: 4 users