Lanx
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Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)
- Thread starter Miguex
- Start date
Srathor
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Went and saw this.
After reading everything for the last month about it. I still thought to myself that it can't be that bad.
Jesus, it was that bad.
I am finding myself no longer the target audience for most movies. What a bunch of hamfisted crap.
After reading everything for the last month about it. I still thought to myself that it can't be that bad.
Jesus, it was that bad.
I am finding myself no longer the target audience for most movies. What a bunch of hamfisted crap.
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i was guessing they'd run out of their 18 hours of fuel and would state "welp only 3 weeks of food left"
the only redeeming quality this movie has is that i hope to get out of hell earlier, because i've suffered it while alive
the only redeeming quality this movie has is that i hope to get out of hell earlier, because i've suffered it while alive
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spronk
FPS noob
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women are rad
minorities are rad
men are dumb
reverse all Star Wars tropes
== 90% RT
The next star trek movie, to achieve 90%+ RT, has a simple formula: make the new Captain Kirkette a black woman, make the enemy an all male race who decide to transition to female at the end to explore the other side of their sexuality, and make it a dark and grim story about how Space Hitler is defeated by constantly getting punched in the face by the crew of the Enterprise who don't use phasers, they use SWORDS. Bam, completely tossing out all star trek tropes, 90% on RT.
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jayrebb
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Decent piece that touches on why Rian Johnson is not the man to deliver this message regardless of whether you agree with the message or messages in movies.
The Last Jedi is bad-- but its also downright inappropriate, for the reasons mentioned.
Anti-empire, pro-activist … The Last Jedi is as left wing as Jeremy Corbyn | Toby Moses
The Last Jedi is bad-- but its also downright inappropriate, for the reasons mentioned.
Anti-empire, pro-activist … The Last Jedi is as left wing as Jeremy Corbyn | Toby Moses
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Frenzied Wombat
Potato del Grande
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I mean one would have to accept the fact that literally a hundred plus reviewers are on the Disney payroll as part of a mass conspiracy, and/or that reviewers in question are overwhelmingly SJW now. Both explanations are hard to swallow, but I'm honestly at a loss because the movie being bad really isn't subjective-- even if you somehow like the story/messaging, it's an abomination purely on technical merits such as dialogue, editing, and pace. It's just a jumbled mess of disjointed scenes glued together by cheesy one liners, merchandise shilling, and forced humor.
Lanx
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it's not the Disney payroll per say, it's that you don't want to offend Disney and subsidiaries. A reviewer is only useful b/c they get "advanced screenings", if they were not given these advanced screenings, then they are no different than some youtube reviewer noob that waits in line at midnight, comes home at 2am to post a review.
If you offend Disney, whelp, guess you're not getting Infinity War advanced screenings, etc.
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a c i d.f l y
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a c i d.f l y
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Royal
Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
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The requirements of the conspiracy angle is really all you need to consider to discount any sort of broad payout scheme. To make it effective enough to get any sort of significant bump in the various critic's score measurements it would have to involve dozens if not a couple of hundred critics. All it would take is for one or two to be incensed at trying to be bought off to expose the whole thing. And what would that do to Disney's reputation? Not to mention the reputations of the critics or the publications/sites they work for. Disney might be able to recover but the individual critics themselves would be done. Would anyone accept a payout knowing it could end their career? Or maybe Disney having their own little Gitmo down in the basement of Sleeping Beauty's Castle to stash those who refuse is part of the scheme.
And that doesn't address why Disney is supposedly the only studio capable of pulling this off. All of the major studios are just as big or are part of conglomerates that are just as rich and influential as Disney. Do they not want good reviews of their big budget movies to? Why would so many studios play games with media embargo dates if they could just send out some intern with unmarked envelops to grease the wheels for a high RT score? Do movie reviewers not fear having access to their advanced screenings revoked?
And you would think that if Disney did have a bunch of critics on the payroll they'd have reminded them of it when they got all uppity not too long ago:
Critics Groups Won't Consider Disney Films for Awards Until L.A. Times Ban Lifted
TJT
Mr. Poopybutthole
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At a certain point the issue does become how can you be so obtuse regarding the review situation when the exact same situation as you are now strawmanning possible conspiracy theories for happened just a few fucking years ago with the entire fucking video game industry and the reasoning for the good reviews has already been presented, in the GG thread and a few times already in here. The payout is continued early access for reviewers to the entire Marvel and Star Wars universe franchise movies.
Why does only Disney have the clout to pull this off? Why does Disney have the clout to force theaters to show it's movies on more prime screen for a longer period of time than any other studio? Because Disney has Star Wars and Marvel, there, super easy answer to that redundancy. Perhaps there's some kind of reasoning for it all hidden in the Threek wars where Mon Mothma forced the Rebel Alliance to give good reviews to her sneak attack plan in order for it to be successfully executed against Admiral Rondo or some other incredibly fucking stupid EU reasoning that seems to be the only way anything in this new trilogy makes even the tiniest amount of sense.
Critics caring about their reputations, get fucking real. Their reputations are tied wholeheartedly to the Star Wars franchise at this point so there's no reason for them to not go whole hog into welding themselves to their cause. We watched an entire industry die on the hill of defending themselves writing fake reviews but for some reason movie critics are different?
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If Disney throws out a shit movie, they get shit reviews like everyone else (e.g. recent Pirates movies).
TLJ just happens to be a good movie, and no amount of storm-in-a-teacup-raging by alt-right-snowflakes desperately trying to make a deluded social/political point by hating on the movie on reddit or Breitbart will change that.
TLJ just happens to be a good movie, and no amount of storm-in-a-teacup-raging by alt-right-snowflakes desperately trying to make a deluded social/political point by hating on the movie on reddit or Breitbart will change that.
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dyadestrant
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Origin
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Lambourne
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Symbolic of Hollywood nowadays: the 64 year old has a better waistline than the millennials. Throw out everything worthwhile in favor of instant gratification.
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Vulg
Golden Knight of the Realm
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It's too bad the narrative surrounding this movie has become about gender, because it gives Johnson and others an out for what is objectively a steaming pile of shit. Reasonable people don't care that there are strong female leads or characters in this or any other movie. They care when they are poorly scripted or acted.
Ripley was a badass in Aliens. Fucking Gwen Christie (Phasma lol) kills it as Brienne. Hell, Rey, while undeveloped and curiously overpowered in TFA, was accepted as a blooming badass before Johnson fucked away her story and abandoned even an attempt to flesh out her arc or ascension.
Forget the ridiculous plot contrivances, the absurd pacing, the absurd love story, the poorly timed humor or anything else that was *actually* wrong with the movie. Apologists like you will hand-wave any legitimate criticism with "well he must be a shitbag misogynist "
Fuck off. It was just a bad movie.
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