Vanessa's Tranny AMA Blog Thread

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Secrets

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What does P99 have to do with Secrets?

My name's associated with the project because I posted a lot. That's pretty much it. I didn't do much outside of the following:

I've had pretty significant client contributions to P99... I guess that's about it. I did some server work early on too, stood up for the common folk in raid disputes, and always helped nilbog with perl scripting questions. Rogean still asks client questions and I'm able to operate and help the server without code, db, or GM access. I spent enough of my life trying to make classic EQ for everyone again, and it's just... I am glad people appreciate that. That's why I contributed, to help people relive the bad and good parts of EQ equally.

I'm sure someone else could figure out client hacks with the knowledge everyone has now. But doing it that early on, in a time before game hacking was modernized... it wasn't something that was common knowledge, especially in the EQEmu community compared to say, MQ2's community.

Also, TAKProject's netcode is something I cobbled together. For that reason, EQMac is still playable on both a PC and a Mac.

If I impacted someone's gaming experience to make it more positive, then I'm glad I did whatever I did. That's why I work in the gaming industry right now and not a software engineering firm.
 
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Porkchop

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IDK, felt inspired to share my recent results

CL58Hwu.png


nO3CUQJ.png
 
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Vanessa

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IDK, felt inspired to share my recent results
nO3CUQJ.png

Oh crap, also:

I got a PM from a member here who is pre-everything trans that has hundreds of posts and I think they're in the closet! Let the witch-hunt begin!

To the person: I'm not going to out you, promise. But, hey, you should post here and come out; we're all friends :)

Also, I honestly appreciate your kind words, but you may misunderstand who I am. I'm not brave. I'm not inspirational. I'm not raising awareness of our plight. I'm an attention whore. I throw around pejoratives like tranny, she-male, t-girl without flinching. I don't give a shit about trans suicide rates, trans restroom rights (I'll go take a shit at a NC courthouse with no hesitation), or really anything to do with the social aspects of being a t-girl. I post nudes here and on dating apps without any qualms like a slut, and talk to guys like a slut. I'm a vulgar girl who curses all the time and has a penchant for racist, dirty jokes. I'm a shitty, lazy person who has all sorts of nerdy, weirdo crap around my apartment. I am the one who knocks. Now... say my name.

Finally decided to step out of that dark, dank closet eh? Thought you never would! I hope you know what you're doing... in more ways than one. Full-time yet? Guessing no, it's probably too early. Remember, I'm not an ally of the trans-community, and even if other members give you shit here and expect me to like you just because you're trans, then think again. It's all in your attitude (which I don't know about) but if you're a typical leftist SJW nutjob like most trannies are, buckle up around here. Either way, I DO wish you the best!!! ;)

If anything, friends, this shows I can keep a secret if any of you PM me stuff... if there's anyone, anyone in the closet, curious, struggling etc (Yes Wizardhawk, even you... gosh) and wants a confidential outlet to express that or direct questions you'd only like to ask in private, you know who to contact.

Feel free to post more Porkchop! I'm sure quite a few of us would be interested in your path to success/destruction.

...the plot thickens!
 
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Vanessa

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Well seeing as your history has demonstrated that you felt I "outed you" (see below quote) I'm unsure if you're simply being a sarcastic shitlord at the moment or you actually gave it a moment of critical thinking to see that I absolutely did NOT out you.

That was uncool.
Totally uncool.

You know why? Because you posted the PM out of context. You showed only a piece of the PM. So I'm going to post the other part of the PM, since it was me that asked you that.

Three times. No answer. Twice in this particular thread and sensing you're not comfortable answering in public, PMed you. And even thought I included the customary "if I went over the line, say so", the silence of the lambs was the only answer.

View attachment 168467

Cheers

...because if you still think I outed you, you can reference my unedited post below vv

View attachment 168409
^ It was creepy-weird and I didn't reply due to gut feeling it would spawn more dialogue ^ They are quite active and can feel free to own it and explain this... that'd be fun. It's up to them o_O

The second one I can't due to the fact the information, even removing name, would possibly implicate poster anyway. :lumie: (Ex: "I'm the owner of this site; $300 for 2 hrs?" )
It wasn't really a_skeleton_03, LoL, just fucking with him

I just don't know what you regulars know about others; i.e. where they live and such.

P.S. Yes I like attention, but I was serious in that this thread didn't need a bump heh.

That PM screenshot could have been anybody... it only became apparent it was you because YOU decided to chime in and ADMIT it was you. You outed yourself Sly. I gave no names in my post, I simply quoted the source screenshotted the dialogue.

-edit- Put in a strikethrough/correction to more accurately describe the situation.
 
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Slyminxy

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I'm kinda boxed into a corner here, but yes, I was being sarcastic. I don't see eye-to-eye with you about being a shitlord.
 
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Lanx

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every other pill doctors have tried to cure bipolar ultimately failed on me. I was in a mental institution twice in my teen years because of how bad it was, and that edge went away when I started testosterone blockers. It also makes my hobby a bit more easier, so I said fuck it, this is medically needed for my sanity.

ive read that bipolar thing is a huge issue for you trans, one day you feel like being mike, the next day youre mike sucking dick.

i wonder if thats any better or worse, as in if someone is now bipolar, docs will just say "you're trans, thats whats wrong w/ you, it's the hip thing now"
 

Porkchop

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Finally decided to step out of that dark, dank closet eh? Thought you never would! I hope you know what you're doing... in more ways than one. Full-time yet? Guessing no, it's probably too early. Remember, I'm not an ally of the trans-community, and even if other members give you shit here and expect me to like you just because you're trans, then think again. It's all in your attitude (which I don't know about) but if you're a typical leftist SJW nutjob like most trannies are, buckle up around here. Either way, I DO wish you the best!!! ;)

If anything, friends, this shows I can keep a secret if any of you PM me stuff... if there's anyone, anyone in the closet, curious, struggling etc (Yes Wizardhawk, even you... gosh) and wants a confidential outlet to express that or direct questions you'd only like to ask in private, you know who to contact.

Feel free to post more Porkchop! I'm sure quite a few of us would be interested in your path to success/destruction.

...the plot thickens!

Baby steps I guess. I'm doing the whole clinical route, endo, blood tests, psych, laser, etc, been at it for 2 years, so even if I dont know what i'm doing, i'm hoping one of them will :) Not full time yet but working towards it. Full time out on nights and weekends and with my family and friends, but still going through some custody court stuff so can't really change paperwork yet. And still trying to figure out how to come out at my conservative company. Thanks for the warnings and well wishes. I don't expect any special treament from any one and i'm fine with earning respect and friends.

I have the same AMA policy as Vanessa, feel free to ask anything here or in private.
 
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Vanessa

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Baby steps I guess. I'm doing the whole clinical route, endo, blood tests, psych, laser, etc, been at it for 2 years, so even if I dont know what i'm doing, i'm hoping one of them will :) Not full time yet but working towards it. Full time out on nights and weekends and with my family and friends, but still going through some custody court stuff so can't really change paperwork yet. And still trying to figure out how to come out at my conservative company. Thanks for the warnings and well wishes. I don't expect any special treament from any one and i'm fine with earning respect and friends.

I have the same AMA policy as Vanessa, feel free to ask anything here or in private.

This is a great sounding start and I'm glad you felt like sharing. I don't want to, nor am I, going to share anything from your PM that you sent almost 2 years ago (even now) but I think you'd be okay with me telling people that you had some reservations about coming out of the closet here. Are you still kinda worried, or did that 2 years give you a lot of breathing room or a (for lack of better words) "cushion" to get comfortable with not only accepting yourself but not giving a shit what others think? Also, do you still prefer to be called Porkchop? I'd definitely like to call you by a name more suiting of yourself but I also respect your (and everbodys) privacy.

It's a hard life, no doubt, and I hold hands with all my true trans brothers and sisters in that regard. We are victims of gender dysphoria, but not victims in society.
 

Vanessa

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Oh shit DOUBLE TROUBLE!

I'm not trouble, c'mon man!~

1524491327287.jpg


Btw, Blaire is crushing it nowadays. I'd love to be the older, creepier Biden to her cool as a cucumber Obama if she ever ran in the Nazi Ethnostate Governorship 2040 Presidential Election.
 
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Vanessa

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I'm reeling you guys in here from the SJW thread so a derail doesn't happen in that particular thread but I wanted to respond in kind to what y'all are talking about and also give our newly out-of-the-closet Porkchop a platform to respond to, too.

I think in some, very rare cases, transexuals qualify as a divergent identity compared to social norms; but I'll go out on a limb and say the grand majority of them are struggling with psychological illnesses that can be resolved without the need to physically alter themselves.

The language you're using here is somewhat murky and grey, so I want to make some distinctions between what you're saying, what I'm saying and what reality may dictate. Unfortunately I'm not aware of any data short of the VERY recent Brown's University Study that was actually nixed due to identity politics that show a distinction between what I call transtrenders and true transsexuals.

Due to a lack of studies (sans the above), all I can do is counter with my own murky non-scientific and anecdotal evidence on this. It's my assertion that what you deem as "very rare cases" are more common than you may think. There's more binary trannies out there than what I would call "very rare"; it's just that most binary trannies transition, get on with their lives, and don't want to stay steeped in the mire of trans-activism or (like me) the counter-activism (not that I'm really trying tho). A lot transition and fade away into passibility and a quiet life. It's also my assertion that yes there is substantial evidence of high rates of comorbidity between transsexualism and other mental illnesses such as depression, bi-polar tendencies, autism, and schizophrenia. Your experience has correlated precisely to what Ben Shapiro has been discussing in his speeches regarding this topic.

My fear that I have almost at this point broken-record'ed (<--trademarked, bitches) is that the alt-left/SJW agenda is greatly responsible for this comorbidity statistic. As the Brown's study notes, many young people transition around the same time as their peers indicating that a high number of trannies are only transitioning due to social and/or peer influence. Autists and Depressives are being sold this magic potion by the alt-left and SJW group-think that your maladjustment in society and sadness is BECAUSE you were born in the wrong body. In other words (and because this post is getting long like a_skeleton_03's penis), transtrenders are ruining shit for true transsexuals who ONLY suffer from gender dysphoria and it pisses me off.

Maybe I've just had a streak of bad luck with the people I've met over the years, and I'm sure there are some trans people I've been within degrees of association of that were well adjusted and passable to the extent I didn't even know they were trans

I'd bet a LOT of money on the fact that not only you, but many many other people here have brushed elbows with a passable tranny in their lifetime and not even known about it, yup. It sounds retarded as I'm typing this, but it's honestly like we're ninjas.. the best ones are the ones you don't even notice. You only notice the shitty ninjas in most contexts haha.

Wasnt the T in LGBT for transitioning, as in a process of going to Male if you are Female and other way around, a temporary status until you body matches your self image.
If the process is over you would end up as opposite sex unless you want to stop mid way through which seems just indecisive.

T = Transgender, not Transitioning, but what you are describing is precisely what it means to be a "Binary" tranny. Going from A to B, B to A. Being Transgender is a kinda self-definable thing that if you look at the root word of what trans is, it means just what I said it is, that being A to B, B to A. The "stopping mid-way through" part is what non-binary trannies do or want to achieve. This is why I say that non-binary trannies aren't even real trannies. It's more a social statement, fashion, identity politics, and hive-mind kind of leftist soup vs. a legitimate psychological / social problem that people like me and Morrow and (maybe Porkchop) suffer and deal with. But for me to say what I just said is horribly transphobic, divisive and non-inclusive to the trans-community (which is not my motive, but I'll side with rationality and reason before I side with hive-mind rhetoric).
 
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Porkchop

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You gonna post pictures like Vanessa did Porkchop?

Honestly, probably not. Maybe selfie or something one day. I still don't have a ton of self confidence, and on top of that, I know a few people here IRL (from 10+ years ago) and i'm sure they would notice me and I don't know if i'm ready to come out to them yet.
 

Porkchop

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This is a great sounding start and I'm glad you felt like sharing. I don't want to, nor am I, going to share anything from your PM that you sent almost 2 years ago (even now) but I think you'd be okay with me telling people that you had some reservations about coming out of the closet here. Are you still kinda worried, or did that 2 years give you a lot of breathing room or a (for lack of better words) "cushion" to get comfortable with not only accepting yourself but not giving a shit what others think? Also, do you still prefer to be called Porkchop? I'd definitely like to call you by a name more suiting of yourself but I also respect your (and everbodys) privacy.

It's a hard life, no doubt, and I hold hands with all my true trans brothers and sisters in that regard. We are victims of gender dysphoria, but not victims in society.

Not giving a shit is a good way to put it. For me, that's what every step out of the closet feels like, just giving less and less of a shit in different situations. I guess I was and still am a little worried about coming out here. For some reason, I put you fuckers up on a pedestal and felt more nervous talking about it here than anywhere else. I'm probably still stuck in the 90s when FoH meant my tight knit group of EQ raiders who would band together in game and then talk shit about each other and trannies on the forums. A lot of my life has been pretending i'm one of the guys and even though I had transgender feelings back then, I would have NEVER tried to come out to that group. I'm 38 now and just in the last 3-5 years I really started to try hard to put those feelings and actions behind me.

And yeah, I think Porkchop will work for now. For me, a handle is what you use on the Internet and in games and people only know your real name if you become friends in private chats or offline.
 
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Porkchop

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transtrenders are ruining shit for true transsexuals who ONLY suffer from gender dysphoria and it pisses me off.

I just want to say I completely agree and LOVE the term "transtrenders". I know one, and as much as I want to include her in the umbrella (which i'm not even sure if it is wide enough to cover the T any more), it just does not feel like the same situation at all. It just seems like she's popping pills from the Internet and wearing slutty shit for attention. I seriously want "NOT a Transtrender" on a fucking T-shirt.
 
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