Whats rustling your jimmies?

a c i d.f l y

ಠ_ಠ
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Still getting used to ex getting 5yo during week, so I bring book bag to school. They call child to office to retrieve it.
I'm excited to see and get my hugs in, but as soon as my kid walks through the door, the entire room smells like cigarettes.
I smoke, but outside. I know how much the smell injects itself into literally everything, and it's so fucking awful to smoke inside, especially for the kid. I'd be raising fucking hell over that fact alone. This is rustling my jimmies on your behalf.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
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I like to play porn on my phone at 200% volume. Come at me bro.
 
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a c i d.f l y

ಠ_ಠ
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I like to play porn on my phone at 200% volume. Come at me bro.
giphy.gif
 
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Adebisi

Clump of Cells
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Muscle memory

Nearly everytime I open an Incognito Tab, my fingers immediately start typing "tubegalore" in the address bar.

Not good for work.

Maybe I should be happy that I don't just unzip my fly each time, too.
 
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Conefed

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I smoke, but outside. I know how much the smell injects itself into literally everything, and it's so fucking awful to smoke inside, especially for the kid. I'd be raising fucking hell over that fact alone. This is rustling my jimmies on your behalf.
Some exact quotes coming from my 5yo on the ride home after transfer pickup
"I tell them to stop and they tell me to shut up."
"There's too much smoke to see the TV."
"There's smoke in the house when they're not smoking."
 
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Conefed

Blackwing Lair Raider
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Muscle memory

Nearly everytime I open an Incognito Tab, my fingers immediately start typing "tubegalore" in the address bar.

Not good for work.

Maybe I should be happy that I don't just unzip my fly each time, too.
As a teen I'd mistakenly catch my own spit several times a day.
 

Big Phoenix

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Fucking bus stops that dont have a pull out for the bus. Driving to work this morning and come to this intersection that is always slow as fuck. I come to it as its red and Im in the left lane, look over at the right lane and see it has half the traffic so i change lanes since normally I would have to wait for a second light where I was in the left lane. Soon as I change lanes I see a fucking bus up ahead. Problem is the retards put a bus stop right after the intersection, so of course the bus stops at it but theres enough traffic in the lane that I have to wait. Bus takes forever so I have to wait for a second red light. Even once the fucking thing turns green again the bus still hasnt moved so I end up with half my truck in the intersection behind a couple of cars and I eventually have to change lanes back into the fucking left lane as the bus still hasnt moved after the light turns red again.

Fuck this bus stop and fuck the retards who dont build pullouts for buses at bus stops.
 
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Void

Experiencer
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I might have already complained about this. I'm getting old and I can't remember all my jimmie rustles from day to day.

I look through Facebook and mostly don't comment or like, because it isn't worth the fucking hassle half the time. But every once in awhile something makes me laugh, and I start to Worf it...only to realize that I can't. I guess Facebook doesn't have the kind of granularity that we do.

And before you say it, no, the laughing face isn't the same as a Worf! A Worf can be used sarcastically or ironically or even misleadingly, but a laughing face can't. When you post that your essential oils helped cure your kid's cold, if I laugh, I'm a dick. If I had a Worf though, it would be more subtle and I could probably slip it past because the whore (because you know a female posted that) might think I'm giving a guffaw of approval. Even though I'm not.

In short, amod please implement all of our reactions for use on Facebook.
 
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pharmakos

soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
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hell, sometimes when i'm texting my girlfriend i mentally try to worf her
 
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Zhavric

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The fact that I'm miserable and lonely on my own and live entirely inside my head when I'm with other people.
 
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a_skeleton_05

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The fact that I'm miserable and lonely on my own and live entirely inside my head when I'm with other people.

This isn't uncommon, but if you find it's getting bad and haven't looked into it, then you really should. Severe social-anxiety/misanthropic tendencies are often signs of some much more worrying underlying mental health problems. Take care of yourself, because nobody else is going to.

-

Unexpected item
Unexpected item
Please place the item in the bag
Please place the item in the bag
Please wait for assistance
 
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pharmakos

soʞɐɯɹɐɥd
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Unexpected item
Unexpected item
Please place the item in the bag
Please place the item in the bag
Please wait for assistance

my local Walmart turned off the bag weight sensors completely.

makes it really easy to shoplift, i'm sure. i have not done it myself, but younger me totally would have.
 
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a_skeleton_05

<Banned>
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my local Walmart turned off the bag weight sensors completely.

makes it really easy to shoplift, i'm sure. i have not done it myself, but younger me totally would have.

Would love that for my local grocery store. As it is, I have to get the attendant to approve my "brought my own bags" every single dam time and they often trip the sensors because the scales aren't big enough to fit their own brand of reusable bags.

As for shoplifting, I imagine they lose more money on intentionally miskeyed produce than anything else (putting in bananas instead of grapes etc...)
 
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Aamry

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Would love that for my local grocery store. As it is, I have to get the attendant to approve my "brought my own bags" every single dam time and they often trip the sensors because the scales aren't big enough to fit their own brand of reusable bags.

As for shoplifting, I imagine they lose more money on intentionally miskeyed produce than anything else (putting in bananas instead of grapes etc...)

Damn, I could be saving 10's of dollars that way each year