Annoying shit your wife does

  • Guest, it's time once again for the hotly contested and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and fill out your bracket!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Once again, only you can decide!

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
27,661
32,677
I'm the dishwasher in our house. Loading a dishwasher isn't hard, but in the rare occasion that she does it she just throws everything in there all willy nilly, thus reducing the amount of dishes that can be done per load by about 25%.
 
  • 9Like
  • 1Rustled
Reactions: 9 users

Picasso3

Silver Baronet of the Realm
11,333
5,322
I swear my wife is now classically trained to have a stomach ache when I ask her to fold laundry

She keeps up with everything it's just everyday I wake up and hear illness of the day. I'm like at what point can you not say you feel awful, because statistically you're feeling average.
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

Noodleface

A Mod Real Quick
37,961
14,508
I documented this elsewhere but my wife constantly talks over me when I'm explaining something or telling a story.

For instance we do a weekly board game night and often we are playing a new game or playing with people that haven't played a game. For whatever reason I'm the designated rule Nazi so I'll explain the rules. Multiple times she'll pipe up with rules that I'm explaining way later or inserting commentary about strategies. It leads to a very disjointed telling of the rules and it makes me frustrated.

Also she does the same thing if I'm telling a story and the worst is when it's a funny story and she completely ruins it.

I have talked to her about it and she recognizes now that she does it. Whenever she does it I just stop talking and she'll go "oh no I did it again", I'll say yep and make her continue. I feel like if I just kept accepting that and me talking again she'd never understand but making her tell people everything is much more delightful for me.
 
  • 1Nationalist
Reactions: 1 user

Pemulis

Not Woke
<Bronze Donator>
3,257
9,039
My wife can't just drive; she has to be doing at least one other thing - putting on makeup, talking on the phone, looking in her purse for something. Meanwhile, the car is all over the road. If I'm not in the car, it's 99% guaranteed that she calls the house within 30 seconds of leaving wherever she was so that I (or one of the kids) can keep her company while she is driving to the next destination. ugh
 
  • 4Like
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 4 users

radditsu

Silver Knight of the Realm
4,676
826
Wife got mad last night that I woke her up. Like i have any control of her sleep states when I am asleep.
 
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users

ZyyzYzzy

RIP USA
<Banned>
25,295
48,789
Always late, complains when I suggest getting ready and leaving earlier. Can't explain that.
 
  • 3Like
  • 1Rustled
Reactions: 3 users

Synj

Dystopian Dreamer
<Gold Donor>
7,878
34,442
Turning on every light in the entire house. Every. Single. One. Not just at night, either.

Mine doesn't turn them all on, she just doesn't know how to turn them off.

Request to change this title to "annoying things your spouse does". For example, complain that our house is impeccably clean and organized.

And everything ameraves said.

#troubleinparadise

This is a Shitlord Paradise, back to Pinterest with you!
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

Malinatar

Lord Nagafen Raider
629
237
This must be a female thing in general but using a fucking dish/plate for goddamn everything. You really need a separate plate for 1 eggroll? Why not put it on the plate you are using? This isn't a restaurant where they do the dishes for you...
 
  • 3Like
Reactions: 2 users

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
28,312
43,095
My wife fucks our neighbor. Soooooo annoying.
 
  • 20Like
  • 2Haram
  • 1Faggotry
Reactions: 23 users

othree

Bronze Knight of the Realm
505
1,042
This must be a female thing in general but using a fucking dish/plate for goddamn everything. You really need a separate plate for 1 eggroll? Why not put it on the plate you are using? This isn't a restaurant where they do the dishes for you...

Yup! I've somehow gotten my wife to use one glass all day long, but she has to get a bowl/plate for every thing she gets. I swear one night she came down with a plate of 4 Oreos...wtf, just hold that shit in your hand.

10 different glasses in 1 day. All for water

I feel your pain. This was the first eight months of living with my wife. I'm still working on reducing the rest of her dish usage.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

a_skeleton_02

<Banned>
8,130
14,248
Not spouse but.

She's trains attack dogs and normal dog training for white people so when ever she has an appointment and I'm off work she invites me to come along.

I'm off work I'm tired I want to lay on the couch and shit post. So when I say no she gets upset. I don't invite her to my job wtf.

Also, I use wooden hangers better than wire and plastic and not as feminine as felt.
 
  • 1Like
  • 1Solidarity
Reactions: 1 users

Adebisi

Clump of Cells
<Silver Donator>
27,661
32,677
Laundry gets washed, dried, folded and placed into clean laundry basket...


then the process ends.

It never finds it's way back into a drawer

It's like the offshore company that was hired to write those last lines of code didn't get their shit together
 
  • 1Like
  • 1Rustled
Reactions: 1 users

Aldarion

Egg Nazi
8,815
24,055
How about shit she doesnt do? Like the dishes, laundry, cleaning up after the kids. (No shortage of time for Facebook and Pinterest!)

You had one job...
 
  • 2Like
Reactions: 1 users

BrutulTM

Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun.
<Silver Donator>
14,366
2,139
My wife can't take a punch. Always crying and screaming about how her teeth are lose at even just a minor backhand. What a pussy.
 
  • 6Islamic
  • 4Like
  • 1Bullshit
Reactions: 11 users