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The single and desperate thing doesn"t apply considering he paid this guy. I highly doubt Boy George was the only person available on Craigslist that day.

.

Damn, that guy has been missing since June. I was hoping for an update. I"m going to assume he decided internet money was more valuable in his veins. That or his girlfriend"s pimp killed him.

Whatever happened to that smackhead that got mad when he found out his girlfriend was hooking and not sharing the profits? Can"t remember who that was.

All this advice they"re giving you is only going to work if you write a menstrual novella about all the sex you"ve never had and how much cigarettes annoy you.

Yeah, some people pay cash.

Most things do.

8 ball. The magic kind. Or the other kind if that helps you make decisions.

Every time someone recalls a story about bagging an Asian, I always imagine they sound like the hooker from FMJ.

Wat. Are you trying to troll ham?

I don"t understand this. How many times has the Eomer approach worked for you? Sounds like she suspects you"re gay at this point and is trying to set you up with her gay pal.

At least she rolls it over.

Ugly as sin and has to cover her face and wear sunglasses when she takes crooked pictures of herself in a bikini after getting absolutely hammered on a single Bud Ice?

Hahahahaha.

Idiocracy, here we come.

Sell the key.

Sounds like the kind of girl you bang in a parking lot.

Because they"re the only thing he can bag.

WAY TO GO ADOLF

Not to describe a tight ass. A nonexistent ass maybe.

Then have at it!

Were they black?

If the cunt cheated on you, don"t fucking talk to her. The end.

Punch her in the face. She"s the one that was in a relationship.

^That"s all you need to know.

Why do you think American Inventors are always trying to steal white women? And what the fuck, a car sealed the deal? Do you drive a shit heap junker Cutlass on monster truck three spokes?

There"s not a damn thing wrong with letting her know she"s a heinous cunt, just steer the fuck clear of her Facebook. People will think you"re the one with the vagina.

"Stop playing dumb cunt games with me you callous cunt-bitch"?

How often does being passive get you laid? I lol"d hard at "once or a twice a year" being a sign of alcoholism.

When does she wear yoga pants?

Your ex sounds like a colossal cunt.

^Massage has never failed. If a massage doesn"t work, she"s a fucking turbo-cunt or you"re some kind of mutant.

I could understand just taking them back, but someone needs to go steal some electrical connectors to make up for this stupid shit.

Bro, he said there"sno way they wouldn"thit it off. As in they would definitely hit it off. I"m with you on the whole struggling as a sign. 19"s fine for fucking, not for dating. If you managed to find the one awesome mature 19 year old within a 50 mile radius, you don"t need our advice.

What in the mother of fuck is wrong with you?

This is where you"re supposed to get acquainted with her fiance and blackmail her for more sex/money/whatever.

Science.

How did you double post nearly an hour and a half later?

Don"t worry, I told her that in the reveal text.

Poor choice of words. She claimed she couldn"t afford a data plan. Can"t send or receive pictures.