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I would never fuck a dog. They're too low to the ground. I need something that stands waist high or is small enough to be picked up.

Pets do that too. Not wanting sex, I mean, just wanting attention. Once I figured that out, I managed to use it to my advantage quite a bit. I'd be crafting in EQ2, listening to some guildies running a zone on Vent, and act really involved with the game. She'd pull her "I want some attention...

I long for the good ole days when a linebacker, lineman, or placekicker would be sprinkled in every once in a while. 1982 Mark Moseley Washington Redskins Placekicker Yeah, a placekicker. This was the AP MVP. Today the AP chooses the official NFL MVP, I don't know if the NFL had an...

Possibly the only thing I really like about Brady. Well, actually his press conferences are pretty good too, he does seem like a nice enough dude. I wouldn't have a beer summit with the guy though because at some point I'd probably get drunk and bash the mug across his face. If you're backup...

Well, MVP is most valuable player, so it seems to me like it should be something close to your first option. Who had the biggest impact on their team. And I'm not just saying that because it would make elliot a lock.

Shit, I thought it was always a SB rematch. I guess that's not set in stone though. The patriots can host if atlanta's new stadium isn't ready or has some kind of conflict with the international booger flicker's convention.

@Amod can you prevent him from turning off notifications? That way we can tag @asshat in every post

Just for you, I did a little research. Interestingly enough, boob size is not used to calculate BMI. It's not even part of the equation. So I used her height and weight and she's overweight, not even obese. I'm not sure where morbidly obese starts, but it must be higher than obese, right...

It's because it's all about perception and not everyone naturally perceives things to be intimate or loving even when they know in their head it is. You can rant about 'feelings over logic' all you want, but this is the one area (love) where it should be that way. Guys do the same thing...

Sorry to hear it man. I agree with the decision to not bankrupt yourself looking for a body. You might have better luck going on a killing spree of all gators in the area. I'd also like to know the answer to gunnar's questions though.

Youtube. People are going overboard. It's getting so that anytime I look for information most of the useful looking results are fucking youtube videos. Someone write the fucking shit down already, I don't have time to watch an 18 minute video to see if your shit applies to what I'm looking...

Wasn't necessary. Paper is appx .1mm thick, even with 3 pages, folded in thirds and then folded in half again, it's less than the difference in widths between my typical back pocket loadouts (which is .3cm). So all I had to do was put them all in the slightly less loaded pocket.

Just realized last night that I can cast my porn from my tablet to my TV. Best Jerkoff session I've had in years. I hope that allows me to last longer than 30 seconds with my wife tonight, who I haven't seen all week.

The song is so bad, calling it garbage seems wrong. But the video was pretty amazing. Was that his daughter or something? They looked like they had a lot of fun doing that. Oh and I couldn't understand any of the words. Were any of them relevant to the current conversation?

I Hope I remember to check this feed out again in a year.

This pretty much disproves the hot teacher = easier sentence theory. What the fuck kinda sentence is 0-5 years? Who makes the final decision? Plus all 4 sentences running concurrently with credit for time served? Maybe the judge just had a fetish and fucked her in the eyeball.

Olscratch vs. Tolan We all know he will be unbanned eventually. When he is, in keeping with our traditions, he should have to stay in the asshat usergroup for a year.

That was my guess.

Oh shit, I never expected the NFL to cover up it's fuckry and deny it did anything wrong. WHAT A TWIST! By "you guys", you mean the texans, obviously, and I don't think they will because they need OL help more. I expect them to try to pilfer some cowboys linemen after they trade for romo...

I'm only checking in on this thread for the update where you finally find him.

Lets have a cowboys argument that's more relevant than where romo will end up. Did NFL privately admit error in Cowboys penalty in loss to Packers?

I think you misspelled "our Token Stealers Fan". Or is there another one? Also, fucker has no avatar, so that plays into the new guy joke too.

Truthfully, if they're straight up scams they probably spoof the number anyway. There's probably no reason to keep a number on that list more than a month. If they're listed chronologically, just start deleting the oldest entries.

Cad vs. popsicledeath LulzSect vs. Hoss - I never had a chance Gravel vs. Tolan tanoomba vs. Big Flex Tuco vs. Wollygimp Mist vs. Screamfeeder jihodj vs. olscratch Itzena vs. Caepan

Mrs G what about the other guy? Are you not exclusive with him? Even if you are, nothing wrong with going to a SB party and talking to someone. If he tries to move too fast you can always tell him you're not exactly available.

@Mures I'm about 90% sure it's scammers checking to see if you're number is valid. Expect the scam calls and texts to ramp up. Dunno how you got on their lists, but you are now. It started the same for me. Look up some of the numbers on the internet and you'll probably find someone who took...

Is it too late for me to let you know I won't accept if I win?

Popsicledeath vs. Wormie Tolan vs. qwertyqweqwertwqert tanoomba vs. lumi Wollygimp vs. Szila Olscratch vs. Brando Chaos vs. Itzena

That's so old fashioned. I bet you believe in only 2 genders too.

Wait, one more from lunch today too. The guys at the table next to me were talking sports and didn't know a fucking thing about them. They were trying to talk basketball at one point, a sport I know jackshit about, and I almost blurted out "The 76'ers. Jesus fuck he played for the 76'ers...

Aight, today's jimmy rustle. I ate jalapenos with lunch. Fresh, grilled, with salt and lime. Fucking awesome. After lunch I go into the bathroom to blow my nose and decide to take a piss while I'm there. Situations like this are a big part of the reason I NORMALLY wash my hands before...

Well the shit I used to buy was shots for my dogs, not antbiotics for livestock. I hope that wasn't affected. One of these days I'll be living in the country again and will probably go back to doing those myself.

You are repeating yourself, so I guess I should repeat myself. There was also supposedly a death at the patriots riot. That would be 2 deaths in the same year due to rioting. Stop telling me the same story about the woman at the sox riot. Here, let me show my sources. The 10 Drunkest...

Another steelers fan coming out of the woodwork.

How can you be so stupid that you still think I was talking about the seahawks in that post? Maybe you should go back and read it again. This time, buckle down and read both sentences.

She might see him as a project. Like helping the poor starving kids in africa. Little does she know ....

I dated a 40 year old with 2 kids who had the most epic orgasms ever. When I was done, I went in the bathroom, washed my dick and when I came out she was still on her back with her legs and arms in the air shaking like a cat who'd gotten into the anti-freeze. I asked her how many orgasms she...