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Pinching is just her way of getting your attention, man! Kind of how I like to put my girl in a headlock and bite a piece of her ear off. Just all in good fun!

The only real piece of advice I can give you, Camerous, is to stop drinking. If you can"t handle your shit to the point that you think you"re posting on Facebook when you"re posting on FOH, then you need to stop before you confuse cutting a steak with something far worse.

Did you spill a beer on your keyboard?

Unfortunately, it was GV"s.

It"s the plot to Goonies 2: Bossier Boogaloo.

Or regulars at the Blue Oyster Bar.

Posting threats on the internet! I"ve called the local police. They said as soon as they clear up the case about your neighbor"s meth dealing(and something about fucking his dog?), they"re going to look into this!

Pretty sure you"re trolled for life.

I like the long crazy rant, then the calm single line posts immediately after it. Don"t ever change, GV.* *I know you can"t, but I want to give you at least one, single, achievable goal in your life.

GV, walk the 15 feet to the other side of your house and take a breather.

Just do it quick before she "accidentally" sends you a picture of her being gangbanged by 5 black dudes. "Whoopsies!"

Seriously? Her leaving you is the best thing that could have ever happened to you. What a cunt.

Couldn"t they do something more productive like cook meth and place curses on people who don"t pay the bridge-toll?

The sheer amount of retarded crap on the internet about these idiots overloads me and it loses all its humor. I just...I don"t...yeah.

Oh man, I literally laughed out loud at this post. It really is fate!

She would probably be a big hit with Sam, seeing as she looks about 12.

Can a forum thread give you diarrhea? I got something going on here.

Sometimes I like to just make up things that I believe are in the "P" thread, so I search in futility for hours.

Damn no edit! Your, not you"re.

Vampire message boards are not online classes. Also, how do you support little Damien? You don"t even support yourself. Getting the government to subsidize your inability to seal that sarlacc pit between your legs does not constituteyousupporting a goddamn thing.

Uhh, have you not been reading these threads? These threadsareher contribution to the world. If just one hobgoblin uses contraception after reading this thread, then she has helped make this a better world.

Wise choice.

Last longer or go flaccid? Careful, homey.

It"s tough to take good pictures in the Seventh Circle of Hell.

Yeah, the cornfield scene seems a good reference for this situation. What?

Sadly, it just proves you never really know what is going on in another person"s head. It will suck for a while, but you"ll eventually get over it. How much did you know about this chick, as far as her past? Sounds like some crazy-ass 180 to just flip for no reason.

Dating, moving in and getting married all within 8 months is fucking fast. I have projects at work that have been going on longer than that and I would consider marriage and the like to be a much bigger life decision than any factor in those projects. Cam, don"t you have a history with some...

I feel so fucking sorry for the kid involved in all this. It"s all fun and games to laugh at these two idiots(GV and Gollum), but how in the world can this kid not be destined for failure?!

There needs to be a spoiler rule on the goddamn pictures.

Why...must....I.....CLICK!

Free on your 10th visit.

What a train-wreck. I"m going to break character here and give you some actual serious advice. Please run all females by us first for the rest of your life.

I know. It"s a conundrum. You pay extra when she has less. Those tits are actually cause for a discount, though.

Do you have any idea how much extra that costs?! I"d be heartbroken too!

I"d like to buy you 4 roses, because 5 is a bit too serious.

The schnozzberries taste likeschnozzberries!

Too toothy during BJs. I don"t like to talk about it.

How long have you been together and how old is she? Plenty of chicks are "cool" like that, until six years later and all their friends are married.

I look at it like this. You can get married at 30+ and live a happy life, etc. However, if you"re married at 20 and it ends up not working out, you can"t go back in time and get your 20"s single life back. I"m a proponent of waiting.

How old are you, Inconsiderable? I"m not trying to pull a "gotcha!" or anything. I"m honestly curious.