did anyone ever watch this?
I did, but the subs on the one I watched were apparently done by some random person, not a legitimate source (is there such a thing? a certified subtitle company?). And that person was apparently Russian and spoke some English. So you'd have a line that read something like, "You make good with deal, you no get hurt." Which, I'm gonna say, actually made the film more enjoyable. It was pretty bad. The story was very dumb and other than a couple narrative minutes at the beginning (where they essentially tell you what the bad guy has done, if I remember correctly), mostly ignored. Picture a scene with each character where they "recruit" them for 2 minutes, maybe have to "fight" a little bit or at least show off their powers to us viewers, and then they go do a mission against the bad guy for reasons which wasn't really clear to me, maybe due to the subs, maybe due to lack of any explanation in the first place, or maybe I just don't understand Russian logic. And then shit goes sideways, and I think someone gets captured and half want to go rescue them and half want to just give up and go back to being loners, and the (lack of) intellectually stimulating conversation that occurs about all that. And I think some more battling. Fuck if I remember, really. Characters literally did things that made no sense to me, even in hindsight.
I would give it about a 4/10 because it wasn't terrible and at least they had a good idea, +1 for hilarious subtitles and the water chick being amazingly hot, -1 for her not being naked and the whole thing being worse written than your typical comic book. I'd be interested to see if legit subtitles would help at all, but I honestly doubt it.
