Most screwed up thing your parent/bro/sis/gf/bf has told you?

Big Phoenix · Oct 30, 2013

When my dad had an open relationship with his girlfriend who died 8 years ago which allowed him to be a pretty big man whore. Couple years ago he told me how one night he was banging some random skank and his girlfriend was in their bedroom closet with the door cracked open watching and listening in.

Whats the worst you bros been told?

McCheese · Oct 30, 2013

My dad told me that when I was 2 or 3 years old and I thought I was playing Frogger on Atari with him and my brother, I wasn't actually playing. He would put the plug of my controller under the machine so I thought it was plugged in. No wonder I had such a difficult time controlling the damn frog. I was pretty angry with him for a long time after learning about his deception.

Arbitrary · Oct 30, 2013

I was once one told the story of how my grandmother put an entire litter of puppies in the freezer.

NeverlosT · Oct 30, 2013

Im 31, only a few years ago my grandmother came clean that during WWII she was with this guy (before my grandfather) who got her preggo then split for the war and didn't come back. That was bad news back then to be pregnant out of wedlock, so she went away from the family to an aunts house for the pregnancy and gave birth. I think a distant relative cared for the kid after that/most of his life. She my grandmother met my grandfather, had my dad, and the rest is history.

My grandmother never told a soul. Only one other person had known (her aunt that she stayed with) and she was deceased. She considered going to the grave with her secret, but decided against it and like 5 years ago at christmas invited this total stranger to christmas with the whole family and dropped the bomb that they were all brothers. I gained an uncle just like that. Pretty crazy. I cant believe she kept the secret for so long. My dad was 60 when he found out he had another brother. The kicker is, dad's name is david, and new uncles name is david! My grandmother had two boys named David.

Zodiac · Oct 31, 2013

Before you read this: Please don't judge me...

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :/

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's fucked up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my Mom's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so fucking beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. (My mom's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to fuck her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was fucked up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever fucking seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Malice_sl · Oct 31, 2013

"Sheik is Princess Zelda."

Before I was at that part in the game. I'll never let it go.

Sutekh · Oct 31, 2013

Zodiac_sl said:
Before you read this: Please don't judge me...

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :/

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's fucked up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my Mom's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so fucking beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. (My mom's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to fuck her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was fucked up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever fucking seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

oldest copy pasta in the book.

My grandma had 6 boys with 4 dudes and would sleep with guys for groceries. She was kind of a slut.

Noodleface · Oct 31, 2013

My grandfather was really close to us, was always over every weekend and was a pretty big fixture in our lives. Once he told us he was in FL and a gator came up and ripped his leg right off, we found out later it was Diabetes - but this story isn't about that.

After he died, a LOT of shit came out. My aunts all seemed to go insane and my mom became a huge drinker (you may remember from the jimmies rustling thread). It wasn't until we were a little older (13ish, if I recall for me) that we found out some pretty horrible shit that my grandfather did. He would lock my mother and aunt in closets/rooms for hours/days on end. He didn't buy them any new clothes or anything, so they basically were in rags most of their lives. I guess my grandmother hit them all the time, to the point that my aunts did nasty shit to her (shit on the hood of her car LOL, cut their shit in the toilet with my grandmothers favorite steak knife LOL). My grandfather also sexually assaulted and molested all of them pretty frequently with the exception of my youngest aunt. My mother got it the worst, for most of her life she was raped on a nearly nightly basis by my grandfather. This was the 60s, so I think she was probably too afraid to tell authorities and now he's dead so what is she going to do. She's a truly fucked up person and it all traces back to this.

I feel like a shitty person for always being pissed at her, I can't imagine that shit.

Additionally, everyone tells me how much I look like my grandfather. I haven't built up the courage to ask if I was some sort of incestuous rape child.

MAXPOWERS_sl · Oct 31, 2013

My brother has two sons. One is about 2 years old and the other is a few months old. She told me its hard to love the new one because he is not a cute baby....

TrollfaceDeux · Oct 31, 2013

Zodiac_sl said:
Before you read this: Please don't judge me...

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning :/

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's fucked up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my Mom's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so fucking beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. (My mom's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to fuck her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was fucked up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever fucking seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

i read this before. fuck you.

my sister told me about this guy who killed himself over a girl who left him for another man.

that is why i will never get into relationship.

the end.

Alex · Oct 31, 2013

Noodleface had to start thread at fucking 11, didn't he? That's fucked up man. I can't even imagine having a mother who went through a rape experience - let alone incestuous rape.

When I was four or five, my sister showed me all of the Christmas presents my parents bought in various hiding spots. Told me Santa was bullshit. And me being that age, of course I told my parents. My sister got in a lot of trouble for that. Like...serious physical punishment. That was one of my first memories. I'm sure she held a strong grudge against me about that for years growing up. And we were really shitty to each other growing up.

From my perspective growing up, I was always the smart and responsible one while my sister was the fuckup. I was on honor roll in baccalaureate programs. My sister was in rehab. In hindsight, it's pretty obvious my dad favored me. It wasn't until I was older that I found out my dad isn't even my sister's dad. This should have obvious to me since my sister has blonde hair and blue eyes and neither of my parents or their parents are blonde.

We didn't get close until she had already left the States (she lives in Ireland now). I was a sophomore in college at that point. I never even got to know her husband very well before they moved. I had only met him five or six times. He was in a motorcycle accident on Thanksgiving day and recovered slowly. He died from a brain aneurysm while talking to my sister in their kitchen in February. I felt terrible because the news didn't affect nearly as much as I thought it would. My mom was in tears on the phone when she told me he died. I just went back to work. My sister now raises her two children by herself without much family assistance. Her husband has family there, but they're not involved except for the grandfather. I feel bad for the kids because my sister is a wreck right now.

Obviously, I was the asshole in first grade that ruined it for everyone else.

Zaara · Oct 31, 2013

Not the worst thing I've been told, but having a boyfriend come out to me as a repressed closet masochist three months in ended up explaining a lot of shit that happened beforehand. He ended up with some white trash lady who had a kid by somebody else. I hope wherever he is these days he's still got a ball-stomper in his life.

Sandman_Actual_sl · Oct 31, 2013

This thread is a bad idea...

I mean we might end up coming out of this learning more about ourselves, but ultimately this is just going to hurt right in the feels.

Famm · Oct 31, 2013

Sandman_Actual_sl said:
This thread is a bad idea...

I mean we might end up coming out of this learning more about ourselves, but ultimately this is just going to hurt right in the feels.

Not me. I don't give a fuck about any of you and my family isn't hiding any deep dark secrets.

"Worst" thing I can think of is pretty common and already mentioned here sorta. I have a brother who my mom couldn't keep from before her marriage to my dad, and she let her parents raise him. I went years as a kid only seeing him on vacation since they lived far away and just thinking he was my uncle. Of course you get older and that shit doesn't add up and you start to ask questions. I somewhat made a big deal over it like it was dramatic for me as a young teen but overall it was pretty whatever.

Actually I also found out later that my maternal grandfather was drunk and abusive but when I was growing up he was in a wheelchair from an accident and obviously didn't drink or beat people anymore. Kind of fucked up that my grandmother stayed with him but older generations did shit all backwards and repressed. Lot of drinking in my family though so it doesn't really count as a huge reveal. I grew up being told repeatedly how much alcoholism "runs in the family" and that my dad struggled with it before I was born before going sober. I didn't know how bad it was until recently though but my mom told me how he got real deep into the sauce at one point and needed inpatient to dry out finally.

Noodleface · Oct 31, 2013

Alex_sl said:
Noodleface had to start thread at fucking 11, didn't he? That's fucked up man. I can't even imagine having a mother who went through a rape experience - let alone incestuous rape.

It's just how I roll man, and it was the worst thing I could think of. Literally in my life there's nothing else bad that went on, except that major thing. I'm a pretty open and truthful person around here, so felt like sharing how shitty some dads can be.

Aamry · Oct 31, 2013

For me probably "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" from like, ever girl I've tried to date.

My family is pretty brutally honest about a lot of things, which I thought was normal, but when my ex-wife met them she thought we were all assholes. Not many secrets.

Heylel · Oct 31, 2013

Noodleface_sl said:
It's just how I roll man, and it was the worst thing I could think of. Literally in my life there's nothing else bad that went on, except that major thing. I'm a pretty open and truthful person around here, so felt like sharing how shitty some dads can be.

Mine wasn't rapey bad, but he's a pretty bad parent. Growing up I never really noticed, but he sailed right off the edge of sanity when he and my mother divorced. In hindsight, while he was an excellent provider he wasn't really there for us emotionally the way he needed to be, and he was very emotionally abusive to my mother. Never physically, but he became a master manipulator and knew how to push her buttons. She still has problems with feelings of inadequacy stemming from hearing it from my dad for 26 years.

He did all kinds of stupid shit, mostly to do with money and ego. He hid money all over town, delayed his tax returns, "sold" expensive items for $1 to friends who could hold onto it for him (bikes, car motors, shop inventory, etc.). He also took my mother's luxury from her office parking lot one day and sold it, buying her an old beater and pocketing the difference. All the while, he started leaving books around the house about how divorce is an abomination and how to live as a "Christian" wife. My dad's never been religious, so it was a pretty obvious ploy. When nothing at all seemed to work and it became obvious that the divorce was going to happen, he drove out to his hunting club in Alabama and tried to kill himself. The deputy who found him said that if he'd had to look a little longer for parking, dad would have probably died. He actually started processing the scene as a found body until he heard dad moan a little bit.

You'd think a suicide attempt would have humbled him, but not really. In the few years since he's basically put that out of his head completely and gone on to tank his business with poor management, buy into a boondoggle home that's much too large, and go through a series of shitty girlfriends. Anything to keep up the appearance of a successful small businessman. As of now, he's on temporary disability for heart issues, trying to get his permanent paperwork in so he can access SS and his pension. I don't expect he'll do much with the time he has left.

All of this is preamble to the time during the divorce, while I was riding in the car with dad, that he told me mom had been molested by a neighbor when she was young. I've never asked her about it, and honestly I'm not sure whether to believe it or not. It's the sort of thing that he might easily have made up or drastically embellished to try and prove some stupid point at the time about mom being unreasonable or damaged. He does that a lot. Bee stings turn into snakebites when he's retelling the story, etc. Hell, one time he told someone he had cancer (he didn't).

Basically my dad is a textbook narcissist and it's destroyed his life.

Caeden · Oct 31, 2013

My mom died a few years back from an OD. She has a brother that has major schizophrenia. His first breakdown was as a teenager. I was probably 7 or 8. My dad (my parents divorced when I was 10...some good stories there) told me that the potential trigger for my uncle was molestation. Turns out my moms brother in law used to rape my uncle in the woods with the help of his teenage son from a previous marriage. Supposedly the last time it happened they found my uncle laying in the woods crying with no concept of where he was.

The end result? The family covered it up like any good, Southern Christian family would do. Made total sense to me that the guy was capable of raping a kid/teenager. He had that vibe. His kid wth my aunt are also very fucked up. A lot really crazy crying and fits. Just general we were abused behavior.

Caeden · Oct 31, 2013

And on my parents. I witnessed this one so not exactly what the thread is going for, but my parents had a majorly physically abusve relationship. Both were very hot-headed. My dad was also a small-time dealer and they both liked his goods too much. When I was 8, they got into a major fight. I hid under the kitchen table with my 5 year old brother. The fight moved to the kitchen and I watched them take turns grabbing each other's hands and biting chunks out of their knuckles. Blood all over their hands and shit. I told my mom about it years later when she'd calmed down a bit and she had hoped we would have forgotten. Hard to forget that shit.

Adebisi · Oct 31, 2013

This thread has the potential to be Super Hans' new years eve party

Most screwed up thing your parent/bro/sis/gf/bf has told you?

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