St. Louis/Nashville/Atlanta/FL

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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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My GF has a family wedding near Jacksonville first weekend in March. I've never been south of Chicago, and never been east of Chicago either, so okay, lets go. We decided to drive, because honestly...fuck the airlines, and also, I don't mind roadtrips and seeing the country and neither does shit.

Since I live in the frozen northland, the direct route from here to there takes us through St. Louis, Nashville, and Atlanta. And I know from frequenting the Mike Brown thread that there's a lot of uhh, enrichment in those places. We want to find some shit to do along the way (or when we're there) to make it worth the time, but not get murdered along the way. We're not really into country music, so I don't need to go see the Grand Ol' Opry or nothing, but I figure there's gotta be some shit to do somewhere in there that's cool. Also, I don't know how Florida weather is in early march - is it beach weather, what the fuck can we do down there?

Any advice you more cultured folk have would be appreciated while we plan this!
 

Gravel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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Water will be cold, but temperatures should be great by March in Florida.

What type of things do you enjoy doing? Lived between Nashville and St Louis for about a decade.

I will say fuck Atlanta. I avoid driving through there at all costs, but you may just be screwed. I don't think there's anything particularly enjoyable there that I'd recommend.
 

Cutlery

Kill All the White People
<Gold Donor>
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Water will be cold, but temperatures should be great by March in Florida.

What type of things do you enjoy doing? Lived between Nashville and St Louis for about a decade.

I will say fuck Atlanta. I avoid driving through there at all costs, but you may just be screwed. I don't think there's anything particularly enjoyable there that I'd recommend.

I'm more of a nature/history dude. I can't do rides at theme parks because of my back (can't risk fucking it up again, just got it back to stable), I don't care about movies/TV/actors, so I don't give 2 shits about universal studios. Disney I'm obviously not going to because I'm not a 12 year old girl.

So I was kinda hoping there'd be some cool shit to do between here and there. You know, stop a night here, see some shit, keep going.

Apparently St. Louis has a WW1 museum, that's pretty baller. Nashville has a place called Radnor lake that looks amazing in photos. Probably gonna end up going down to Orlando and going to sea world or some shit, and obviously i'm looking for good food all the time. So, you know...I'm a simple dude with simple tastes. I'm cool with scenic drives, national parks, cool museums, that kinda stuff, but I don't know fuck all about that stretch of the country, so I'm looking for some insider tips.
 

Gravel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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St Louis has a free zoo and it's pretty darn good. The botanical gardens there are also fucking top notch (dunno how good they'd be that early though). The basilica is also pretty neat, doesn't take much time, and it's close to the zoo.

I'm not much on city stuff either, and as far as Nashville goes, I'm kind of drawing a blank. I always liked walking around the Opryland hotel, especially for Christmas. Not sure how it is lately though as the last time I was there was over a decade ago.

A lot of your cool outdoor stuff will be in the Appalachians, and it depends on which route you go. There are lots of good state and national forests in the Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, and Kentucky areas too.
 
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zzeris

King Turd of Shit Hill
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Honestly, I'd do Chattanooga before I hit Nashville and it's not really out of the way. Lookout Mountain has a lot of outdoor type attractions like Ruby Falls, and Rock City and the National Military Park (also on Lookout Mnt) has some really cool Civil War history. The Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum has restored vintage trains that start running in mid-March. The Tennessee Aquarium and Chattanooga Zoo are pretty good. About 70 miles north of Chattanooga in Sweetwater is the Lost Sea which is the largest underground lake in the country. Lots of fun stuff that seems to fit what you are looking for.
 
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Fogel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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I'm more of a nature/history dude. I can't do rides at theme parks because of my back (can't risk fucking it up again, just got it back to stable), I don't care about movies/TV/actors, so I don't give 2 shits about universal studios. Disney I'm obviously not going to because I'm not a 12 year old girl.

So I was kinda hoping there'd be some cool shit to do between here and there. You know, stop a night here, see some shit, keep going.

Apparently St. Louis has a WW1 museum, that's pretty baller. Nashville has a place called Radnor lake that looks amazing in photos. Probably gonna end up going down to Orlando and going to sea world or some shit, and obviously i'm looking for good food all the time. So, you know...I'm a simple dude with simple tastes. I'm cool with scenic drives, national parks, cool museums, that kinda stuff, but I don't know fuck all about that stretch of the country, so I'm looking for some insider tips.

When in Florida, obviously the beaches. There's also lots of springs, manatee/dolphin watching depending on the season, manatees being nov-april. There's a nice alligator zoo in St. Augustine as well.
 

lurkingdirk

AssHat Taint
<Medals Crew>
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Sounds weird, but check out the swamps. It's a unique environment there, and there is cool wild life and plants. Lots of walking trails and such through swamps, and they're cooler than you'd think.
 

Gravel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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The Atlanta aquarium is one of my least favorite big aquariums. I'd rather go to the one in Gatlinburg.
 

Caliane

Golden Baronet of the Realm
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I wouldn't knock off the themeparks entirely. They are still pretty enjoyable even for adults. Epcot, disney world. they are an experience for sure.
Theres also Busch gardens, seaworld, etc.
The biggest issue there is just Tampa and Orlando are a good distance from Jacksonville.

I don't know much about northern florida. my trips have all been to Tampa, orlando, miami, everglades, keys.
 

Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Correspondent / Stock Pals CEO
<Gold Donor>
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My GF has a family wedding near Jacksonville first weekend in March. I've never been south of Chicago, and never been east of Chicago either, so okay, lets go. We decided to drive, because honestly...fuck the airlines, and also, I don't mind roadtrips and seeing the country and neither does shit.

Since I live in the frozen northland, the direct route from here to there takes us through St. Louis, Nashville, and Atlanta. And I know from frequenting the Mike Brown thread that there's a lot of uhh, enrichment in those places. We want to find some shit to do along the way (or when we're there) to make it worth the time, but not get murdered along the way. We're not really into country music, so I don't need to go see the Grand Ol' Opry or nothing, but I figure there's gotta be some shit to do somewhere in there that's cool. Also, I don't know how Florida weather is in early march - is it beach weather, what the fuck can we do down there?

Any advice you more cultured folk have would be appreciated while we plan this!

St Louis is a shithole. Nothing to see there. Plus it's very "enriched". Maybe you can check out the main Anheuser Busch brewery if they haven't looted it yet.

Atlanta is an even bigger shithole, most "enriched" area out of all of them. Don't even bother. I have to go there 2x a year for work and hate it every time. I guess the main sightseeing there is their aquarium which is one of the biggest in the world and the Centennial Park, but that's about it. Otherwise it's wall to wall joggers who behave exactly how you expect.

Nashville is probably the least worse of the 3 but super hipster and all in on LGBTQ@&$&*. Finding some country bars is probably your best bet.

Honestly all these places are really shit.

Especially Atlanta.
 
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Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Correspondent / Stock Pals CEO
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Honestly, I'd do Chattanooga before I hit Nashville and it's not really out of the way. Lookout Mountain has a lot of outdoor type attractions like Ruby Falls, and Rock City and the National Military Park (also on Lookout Mnt) has some really cool Civil War history. The Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum has restored vintage trains that start running in mid-March. The Tennessee Aquarium and Chattanooga Zoo are pretty good. About 70 miles north of Chattanooga in Sweetwater is the Lost Sea which is the largest underground lake in the country. Lots of fun stuff that seems to fit what you are looking for.

This is good advice. I drive through this area several times a year now and it's always a treat, sightseeing different mountains, valleys, etc
 
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Cutlery

Kill All the White People
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Chattanooga looks like right up my alley. Thanks for all that, guys. Obviously have a few more months yet, so if you think of anything else, I'm game!
 

Aevian

Silver Knight of the Realm
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I don't have a destination to recommend, but if you're driving, I think you should stop at a Buc-ees gas station along the way. Good road trip food, good bathrooms, worth a stop IMO.
 
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Gravel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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It's a weird thing to say, but if you've been to one, it makes sense. Just like the gas pumps, there's like a hundred urinals, tons of sinks, and the place is spotless. It's just a pleasant place to take a piss.
 
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TomServo

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It's a weird thing to say, but if you've been to one, it makes sense. Just like the gas pumps, there's like a hundred urinals, tons of sinks, and the place is spotless. It's just a pleasant place to take a piss.
A sign of a civilization in collapse. "Hey guys what cities should I visit?". "fuck that bro them jogger run sanitariums are wrecked. But this gas station is the shit to shit in!"
 
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Gravel

Mr. Poopybutthole
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It's the whole experience. There's always a gas pump free even when it's packed. The gas is generally cheaper than anywhere around it. Always a urinal open. The candied nuts are delicious. I had a pulled pork sandwich from there on Tuesday. It wasn't amazing, but for a gas station it sure as fuck is. Heck, they even have a really nice area to take the dog to pee. Their mints are delicious.

My only complaint is their window squeegees aren't by the pump, so if you want to clean your window you've gotta go to the parking areas.
 
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Alex

Still a Music Elitist
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Chattanooga looks like right up my alley. Thanks for all that, guys. Obviously have a few more months yet, so if you think of anything else, I'm game!

There's a cool guitar museum in Chattanooga called Songbirds.