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Remind me of this one.....

Todays mood.....

Called the book store today to check on the book I ordered. Me: Did you get the book about small penis? Store: No, it's not in yet. Me: Yes, that's the one.

I'm glad so many people are using mask, gloves and sanitizing wipes, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE THE FREAKING TRASH CAN WHEN YOU ARE DONE WITH IT.

The boredom of self isolation... Did you know that if you rest a naked testicle on the top of an open beer bottle and hold a naked flame under neath the bottle the testicle will be sucked into the bottle. If you do know this, do you know how to get it out??? asking for friend!!!

Wonder why California banned plastic bags.

You go to the store and get 3 items and they bag it into 5 bags when it could easily been in 1 bag.

Corona virus ain't gonna last long. It's Made In China.

TOOLS EXPLAINED DRILL PRESS : A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could...

A guy walks into a bar in downtown New York and notices an absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman near him, sipping a cocktail. Great hourglass figure, long, long legs, full breasts nearly bursting out of her top. "Who's that knockout?", he asks the bartender. Bartender says: "She's a very high...

American schoolchildren pledging allegiance to the flag in a former form of the salute, specifically the Bellamy salute.

My german girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.