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I have had several friends - 4 or 5 - who had an in-machine grinder. Every single one of them had the same thing to say about it: so much cleaning up, have to do it so often or it doesn't all get to where it needs to be, and ends up making weak, crappy coffee. I love the morning timer thing, but...

You might want to report this to your local police and have them document it so if any shit goes down in your house later, you can explain the blood splatters.

Holy Jebus cross-checking Mary in the crease...Way to go for keeping your head about you! Congrats on being a dad once more, and congrats on being a total bad-ass. You won today. Everything. I can only imagine how scary that was. But I guess this is certain proof that you're hung like a horse...

Got a vehicle for the 16 year old twins to share today. 1996 Volvo 850. Only 65,000 miles, one owner, in great shape. It's a tank, it's a great car for safety, and I think it will serve us well. In other news, my truck now has a dented forward quarter panel and I need to replace some trim...

It was, I just couldn't remember the name. They were pretty good, worked well on short order if you had a huge number of people coming without much planning, and it was tasty. Don't know why they closed here, they were super busy.

indeed.

What can I say? Noodle's an attractive man, and he's talking about taking chocolaty loads. Who can resist?

They used to have a pizza place here where they would assemble your pizza with the toppings you ask for and wrap it so you took it home and baked it. They had awesome toppings, and it took about 4 minutes to get a totally custom pizza and costed $10 for an extra large. I miss that place.

I'm as hard as diamonds in an ice storm right now.

I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm.

I'll call you later.

Was she shaved or hairy in your dream?

My twin daughters did shit painting on each other when they were about 1. It was awful and hilarious.

That's harsh, man.

I fucking hate Pittsburgh.

You are correct, there are none here. Somehow I made the Sonic Burger into an In N Out in my mind. (I never said I was a smart man.)

I'm in Indiana.

I'm in the mid-west, man. We do have an in and out, I shall give it a go.

Holy shit on a stick, that's pretty egregious. I'd second the notion of taking the cell phones away. Oh, you're driving? Cell phone stays home. The people she's with will have cell phones for emergencies. This sucks, man. It'll hurt your insurance for sure, but this might be a learning...

I shall not admit I'm getting old. I'm not. Really. Honestly.

There's only one here. I'd try another one, but I'll never go back to that one.

Okay, in the last few months I've had Five Guys a few times. Every time I eat there I feel like shit the following day. Their burgers are so bloody greasy, I can't take it. I guess I'm weak. I'm done with five guys.

Yeah, my guess is with a lot that size you'll be fine.

I believe I'm going to acquire a large amount of rabbit brains now and use them on each of my children's every wounds. You skinned your knee? Here, let me rub rabbit brains on it. You have a gunshot wound? Pack it with rabbit brains. You have cancer? Fuck chemo, it's time to sit in the barrel...

Hard to say. It looks like a solid instrument, but you won't know until you play it. I'm all for buying nearly everything online, but violins are really so much about how that particular instrument sounds. You can give it a whirl and see how it plays. I'd encourage you to find a dealer so your...

One of my kids had wicked bad teething issues. Their eyes would swell up to the point of nearly swollen shut. It would last about a day for each tooth, but she was miserable every time it happened. Oragel made it feel better in her mouth, but she rubbed her eyes until they hurt. Teething sucks.

Is this for real? Rabbit brains?

Oragel is your friend!

The question is: can they keep the momentum going back to hostile territory? I would like Nashville to win - I don't care much about either team, but I always route for the underdog, plus they've never won a cup, plus I don't want Crosby to get another cup.

Man, I guess I'm just a weirdo, because I love a good handjob every now and then.

Better than jerkin it, though.

She's got a mouth and a couple hands, though. right?

Well, holy shit! That's great! Except the sex part. Get a fleshlight.

Nashville has balls?