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Yeah, fast food is a big spender for me, I need to quit eating it for multiple reasons, my health being number 1. I know I could cook at home for like 40 bucks a week, but thats only a couple meals out. Jimmy rustler is my work laptop. It has a touch screen, and I need patients to sign...

I'm about to sign a lease on a condo that's 3/2, for $1095 a month. In a good part of Jax too. Only problem is, and this is something that rustles my jimmies quite hard sometimes, is they have the small round toilets, instead of the "standard" oval toilets, like in public restrooms.

It's a sign from god Koushirou

The perfect crime, killing a dying man, lol.

I had to look up Cortisol, but it helps to metabolize fats, proteins, and carbohydrates, so would sleep deprivation help her lose weight if it did indeed raise cortisol levels? Unrelated

My boss says his money is on ex girlfriend poisoning him.

Whoever wrote it was confusing their pronouns, probably usually writes for Huffpost

I've had 2 root canals, and only 1 of them got infected, but that's because my teeth have extra roots and the doc missed one. There was a dentist here in Jacksonville that was doing unneccessary extractions and whatnot to children that were on medicare so he could charge extra. One of my...

I had my "permanent" retainer for 2 years. Find a new dentist bro. And make sure they remove all the cement as well, that shit stays on your teeth forever.

Image innacurate, Molotov Cocktease not wearing chastity belt

Confident in my sexuality. I'd be top anyways.

Fuck thats cheap. I'm paying 640 for a 1/1 and I only have like 600 sqft

I ain't gay, but I'd rather fuck that cop over that teacher

grey water macerator, lol

As I recall, it was an animated GIF with stick figures.

Or her cousin in Utah

His ex accuses him of pumping her family for info about her. She obviously thinks he still cares, even though he's just hanging out with his dudebros

Recent for me as well, she's great.

Buffalo Wild Wings, I had to look it up as well.

Unfortunately Dani Jensen got fake boobs and what looks like a face lift, so now she looks like a middle ages woman.

Both IIII and IV are acceptable numerals for 4 last I checked.

The only thing I could think while watching this video is, "Who needs that many fucking chairs?"

If the electronic utility statement is exactly the same as the paper one you would get in the mail, just print one off and send it in. I've done that before and it's been accepted.

Out of curiosity, did someone plow through the wall in your neighbors yard?

Shooting up Coca Cola has to be harsh.

My laser printer has a high pitched electrical whine when idle. I leave it turned off unless I need to print something. Bothers me to no end.

So I see you're into getting choked...

We use it on eave metal to protect it from certain waterproofing products we do. If we wait more than 3 days to peel it, it's a damn chore to scrape off. Temporarily though it's wonderful.

Yeah, but I paid for 3 day shipping, not 4 day. My damn motherboard is the last item to show up.

I think it's been mentioned here before, but FedEx giving packages to USPS to deliver. Why even have FedEx?

In regards to protein powders, does anyone know if they make any flavors that aren't vanilla or chocolate? I'd kill for a fruit punch or something.

Instruction manual for my new PC tower "Secure the bottom drive as indicated by the red circles." Manual is in black and white.

Those people don't understand basic economics.

What's a tweener?

The signature on my cards is in perfect cursive script. My signatures on receipts are an illegible scribble. The biggest problem I have is my bosses put my nickname on both my business cards, so I have to explain to some retailers that it's a nickname and my bosses are idiots.

I don't understand how people retire, I'd go insane without stuff to do.

I call those flatbed carts.

Who doesn't, am I right?

I never understood the appeal. I mean, I like waffles, and I like fried chicken, but those foods don't go together in my mind.