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I am giving online dating a shot for the first time ever. I have a general idea of what to put in my profile, but I have no experience here. Another problem I"m coming across is making it understandable to someone who has English as a 2nd language. I"m going with the cocky-funny style, but I...

Christ. I"m typing 1- and 2-liners and we"re gettin all analytical up in here. I"m lamenting in a not-so-serious way. Besides, you have to go after the Korean girls because white women in Korea say things like, "I have a blog to write about my experiences traveling."

I"m normally the first in line for a cutlery joke but I didn"t laugh until this: No need to try and distill it beyond this...and the added factor that most women (people?!) are about as interesting as HIV on a terminal cancer patient.

That"s about the only way I can find interacting with a girl to be interesting.

Her friend is hotter and lacking face herpes so I really wanna have sex with her friend. But she doesn"t speak any English and my korean is probably just a few months shy of being able to pull that off, so I kindly introduced the friend to my friend who speaks really well. I"m such a good friend.

So I went on a massive herp research spree. I"ve never had a cold sore, but since most people have herp1 on their mouth I probably have it too. Additionally, herp1 on the mouth can help prevent herp1/2 on the junk due to cross immunity.Finally, since most people have the virus, most of the girls...

No one sees someone with a cold sore and goes "DUDE THAT CHICK HAS THE HERP!" Obviously it is the herpes virus, but we don"t really call it that. Just a story about an awkward language moment dudes. Don"t be so serious

I went out with some Korean girl tonight. Shortly after we met she was kinda touching her mouth. I didn"t see what she was touching before she started rambling on about being tired and busy at work lately. At the end she says, "...sometimes when that happens I get herpes." Later I had to tell...

One day in college my friend was super wasted and lost his key card for the dorm building. Another guy who lived in the building but was a stranger came up and opened the door for him, and as my friend entered he yelled, "I RAPED A BITCH!" The guy chased him down the hallway but my friend got...

I can"t really explain it well or really know the exact reason. I had a lot of shitty things happen at once (unrelated to her) and got really stressed out, and I just stopped wanting to see her. I gave someone advice before in this thread to a guy, whose girlfriend said she needed a break from...

So my girlfriend died aka we broke up. Ironically the age difference had nothing outwardly to do with it. Back to subway schemes?! I"m thinking about trying Korean cupid or something and just focus on getting laid. We"ll see. The end.

fixed to make intention clear

I sorta stopped responding to specific stories because the answer is always, "go find another girl because [this one is a bitch][this one is a slut][you are friend zoned][she cheated on you][she"s not actually special][you are only attached to her because you have no other options]." Choose one...

Well Sharmai said something similar but I want to expand on it. We all on some level are aware of our own value to the opposite sex, and people tend to partner up with people of the same value. Obviously people can see their own value differently and people value slightly different things...

i lold

Drink more, post her replies here, everybody wins. Your posts are not as think as we dumb they are. I can confirm it is possible to type that bad. I recall typing messages with preposterous typos when drunk in college a lot. I noticed the mistakes, but just didn"t care enough to change them...

Damn man. That sounds so rough. The "you shoulda seen it comin" crew has already arrived so I just want to offer my sympathy and give one little observation. The reason rushing into a relationship is bad isn"t because you don"t really know the person. It is because you CAN"T really know the...

How much extra do the herpes cost?

Did you come back because you got fired from your fake doctor job or because your new girlfriend got run over by a clown car?

Yea, you could be a guy who cares about a fake holiday. oh wait...

If my girlfriend accidentally sent nude pics to one of my family members most of my energy would be spent on the floor laughing at her and the embarrassment to come. She would of course appreciate the humor in the situation even if she couldn"t really feel it at the moment. Break up? Give me...

Be blunt with your friend. Tell him you think he"s in the friends zone and that you"ve got a real shot with her, but still you"ll yield to himif he makes his move within [short period of time you decide]. If not, tell him you"re going to do it because dibs are irrelevant if you don"t actually...

actually study*

I"ve been dating this cradle-robber for the past month now, and I mentioned everything moved super fast. Now we are really close and spend a lot of time together, enough that breaking up would be some major, almost life-changing, event much like year+ relationships are. I"m REALLY into her...

Maybe it works differently for you Canadians, but where I come from, "no I don"t want your shit" is a viable counter to Package pressure. You seem to really like this chick, and she seems to like you. It"s almost like you"re trying to sabotage yourself from getting into any relationship...

You want to sleep with her, too, right? Add roofies to the list

Obviously it depends on the 2 people, but I think that"s way too frequently for the beginning. We became super close in a ridiculously short period of time, which makes it safer since we"ve both already kinda let on how much we like each other (in a rapid progression, though I basically stayed 1...

Kirin ignoring this chick isn"t "being a man" and holding his ground. It"s him trying to wrestle control of the situation when he feels completely out of control of it, victimizing the girl in the process. Besides, he didn"t say "ok I understand, but I can"t be friends with someone I"m...

Have you been her friend, or just friendly? If it"s the latter, just completely ignore that she just broke up with her boyfriend and act as if she were any other single girl. She"s gonna want to have fun and be free of the stress of the breakup. A guy who is there to have a good time will do...

fixed It"s pretty much a truism that any relationship that starts before 20 is going to end. Obviously TheCutlery is an exception but truisms don"t apply to assholes. Good job STFU. Stay strong and know your relationship was going to end at some point anyway simply due to the age you got...

excellent

I guess when you can"t close you will experience a lot of blue balls Sweet burn! P.S. I"m rather disappointed by the lack of props and attention for my most recent story. This was a pretty triumphant event in my eyes going from complete uncertainty to sex in the span of about 2 hours. It...

Never had it so I always assumed it was exaggerated. I didn"t find out it was actual pain until some point in college when someone explained it to me. I"ve also had sex many times without an orgasm and never experienced pain. This is basically every time I use a condom.

Older Korean girl backstory: Spoiler Alert, click show to read:Here"s a question in return Ravvenn (and Alcestis if she"s still alive), though I certainly contributed nothing to your dilemma besides "I won"t judge if you just abandon her": I met this Korean girl on a hike about a month ago...

Falling into livejournal mode here

I am not at all concerned about her age except regarding how it would impact her potential interest towards me. At this point I am hooked on older girls and that"s all I want to date or talk to. The former teacher I mentioned that I went after agreed to meet me for coffee 1-on-1 (though she...

I honestly pull away from friends when they start acting like total fucking idiots. I always try to give everyone some "be a retard for free" cards, but eventually they run out and empathy basically putsmein that stressful position, only I have no way to solve it because it isn"t me. My parents...

If I ever met a girl with this amount of self-awareness, I"d totally buy her a kimono on the first date. Yes

If you"re thinking about it, you"re already broken up. I did the exact same thing, at the exact same age, and it was a good (actually essential) decision. I still think about her, but it was for the best. Plus, if she"s 19, she also needs to get out and date around before she can settle down...

We"re talking about a man here, and a man with multiple options. Clearly the only choice he"s gonna make is the one that keeps his options open, even if it doesn"t result in getting laid. Dont underestimate male reasoning. The route taken is gonna be the route with the greatest prospects of sex...