Search results

I agree with your definition but when I first heard the term neckbeard, I asked about it and was told it applied to any beard with hair on the neck. I have a beard like Oliver's and I've accepted that I have a neckbeard. I just don't care. You have to realize that sometimes the person saying...

Granny used to love the scratchers. We had one with a similar mechanic. Where normally you have to match 3 to win, but if you got a moneybag you'd win the prize immediately. So I won $5 with a moneybag and showed it to her and she tried to argue with me that it wasn't a winner because I...

Something got fucked up with your picture link bro. Fixed it for ya.

In my current house, we started with Direct TV. We wanted a TV in the kitchen so the installer drilled a hole through the wall into the pantry behind it through a fucking pocket door. So until we finally got rid of the kitchen TV, we weren't able to close the door between the kitchen and the...

There's been some terrible advice on this. Your approach isn't too far off from correct. Just accept that not everyone has to like you (you say you have) and continue on like normal. Your wife should be your focus, not her family. I wouldn't mention to anyone how shitty it was except your...

Bro, I'm way less than 10 thousand years old. I was born here. I was raised here. I am native american by all but the most tortured/woke definitions of 'native'. Wait, I got it. We're all mail order babies from India!

da fuk? Native means you were born here. What the fuck do you think is happening? Are we all being born in space and trasnported to America? native adjective na·tive ˈnā-tiv belonging to a particular place by birth a native New Yorker belonging to or associated with one by birth hailed in...

I mean, do you think she just suddenly decided to start doing it in 2016? 25 times in the basement? I think that's just the year she finally got too old and ugly and couldn't find a student with a geezer fetish.

There is nothing better than that nap you take right after waking up. I always say that waking up is so hard, I need an immediate morning nap.

She sounds based. My wife and I go to OTC and troll the people at windmill booths with shit like this. To Ivan's credit, he kept responding. The people at the trade show always leave the booth at the first mention of birds. My wife usually asks why they don't have the same penalties and...

Could be chris. All you brits are interchangeable.

I had the same thought. The cop in res dogs and dark winds kinda fucked with me for a while. Wait, how am I supposed to believe him as a badass cop now after being a wish.com barney fife for multiple season?

I thought you only commented on shows you didn't watch.

So you propose getting rid of all movies and television altogether? Producers are pretty much people who couldn't make it as prostitutes.

And how long did that last? 5 seconds of the entire series that was OK instead of godawful? Whereas SI was a consistent mediocre all the way through. You're just suppressing the trauma that was falcon and the winter soldier. Like a child who was molested by his dad and all you can remember...

I hope it's a nextel

The only way anyone could honestly say this is if their eyes skipped over the top entry on the list. Falcon and Winter Soldier was and still is the hands down worst of the marvel series. Well, i did't watch werewolf by night so it's feasible that's the worst. Secret invasion was better than...

They didn't address it. The season ended with HC as geralt. It looked like they were going to kill him for a couple episodes, but then he took some performance enhancing drugs and got better.

Wife is a newly minted yoga instructor. She's 50 now, she started yoga late in life and it's making amazing improvements. Last week she sends me this pic because she's finally recognized the link between sex and yoga or something? I dunno, bitches be crazy sometimes. I read the kama sutra...

Wait, you know her because you worked on the Endor set of RoTJ, or just because you watched RoTJ and had an ewok plush?

Well you're still doing better than me because I also don't know who the dude in the hat is. So now I have chaka kahn blank rock q. Thing is, I'm pretty sure shaka khan is a band not a song, so I don't even know what song you're talking about. Before you said it was a song, I was assuming the...

Where do you do that? I didn't know you could do it from a website now.

Nobody said fucking a crazy bitch was cheap. But it's worth it.

I don't know how many times I have to say it. Stick your dick in crazy every chance you get. Just don't give crazy your real name or address. She may steal my shit but it will only be what I brought with me.

No. Those kids cannot pass for 30 year olds. The 2 on the left might pass for adults, but the kids on the right?

Jennifer Anniston looks like she wanted to fuck the camera. Everyone else is smiling, she smoldering.

What if she's looking for a date to the funeral and is hoping for a quick engagement cause she aint about that single life?

supply and demand, bro. Everyone wants those electronic copies so the price of electrons goes up. No one wants the paper copies so they have to drop the price of the paper.

You think that says sheep? It clearly says shoop and she added tails to the o's to make them look like sperm. Shoop is a reference to you. She's trying to tell him that you are her real father. I bet your hair looks like that too.

Good point. I wonder if jitterbug makes pill bottles. Brahma can tell us.

Next time, fiddle with THEIR dick.

But is it large print? Oh, excuse me I SAID, DOES IT HAVE LARGE PRINT?

I think getting old means you need larger ones with giant writing with multiple containers per day.

First off, Google Translate says the direct translation is bailiff. Second, lol but that's kinda cool. And third, this is terrible advice. This guy is not a lawyer so you definitely shouldn't take his advice in any legal matter. Do the opposite of what he says punko. Don't be a bitch ass...

Someone was trying to send you a message. Sounds like you didn't get it, I'll try again.

How bad could a shirt be? Where did this happen?

I get paid to check out those alien worlds and I discovered that my perspective is already correct. Any changes would be for the worse.

Only people who go on vacation are people who hate where they live. My house / town is fucking awesome. No desire to ever leave it unless I'm being paid.

Yeah. rich enough to take a 15 day all expenses paid vacation in a swiss jail. Can YOU afford that?