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My wife tricked me out of Steak and a BJ day. I did get steak, but she distracted me with it being Pi day so I ate her pussy and fucked her, but got no BJ. I think in the coming divorce this will be enough for the judge to just give me everything. What do you guys think?

Are you new here? We need pictures before we can offer advice. We ALWAYS need pics when a chick is involved. Fucking rookie

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." "Well," said the big gator, "what have you...

They clearly don't know about FOH. Where are you adopting from? Post a phone number.

When we adopted a cat from a shelter we just went in a room and grabbed the cat we wanted and they just about wanted to suck my cock to thank me for taking a cat. They had so many that they get euthanized much more quickly than the dogs. But you got a fucking waiting list?

Yes. That's a new location since I lived there but I've been to it and it's not bad BBQ, but it's second tier.

OK, the headline said Israelis. In my mind I laughed at how mario would react to that and how if it was real I could post a "the jews did this" meme. But if that article is right and we only just isolated it yesterday, then the one I read must have been click bait. We still have to ridicule...

Where? My favorite place in Austin is closed now, it was called Dusty's. My next favorite place was county line on the hill out in Bee Caves. Lotta people talked about Black's in Lockhart and a couple in Elgin that I think were all terrible. Oh and the salt lick. That one was pretty good...

And you wanna be let out of the shaw?

Since this is the grown up thread, I'm not going to wade through that cesspool anymore. I saw a headline last night that the jews came up with a vaccine. I don't see it when I search now. Was that real or clickbait?

Preparing for being quarantined, you don't wanna run out of luxury items like that. Initially people just assumed that an illness from china would probably give you the shits because it's a 3rd world country and most of those 3rd world country illnesses give you the shits and kill you through...

First of all yes. Second of all why the fuck is Memphis in that list? Not only is it not a state but those faggots boil their meat and call it BBQ. Did you mean Missouri? I don't know anything about florida BBQ. The thought brings to mind images of meth labs.

On what? We haven't had a christmas or thanksgiving since that conversation. Nobody in my family has the kung flu because basically nobody in the country has it.

Also, be gentle to me today foldger. I got some news yesterday that's 30X worse than anything the kung flu will do. My second favorite BBQ joint has closed down. I went for lunch yesterday and they had a crew in there renovating it. I poked my head in to ask if it was just renovations and...

She probably got it from her lover. They need to figure out who that is and get them all tested.

Can't wait for Jerrah to start spreading rumors that people he wants have the kung flu so they will drop and he can pick em up in late rounds.

Only problem with this one is that you have to be out in public in the first place. Unless you're baller AF and have an escalator in your house.

Oh that's cute. You can fit all of your TP inside the house. We gotta park our cars on the lawn now cause the garage is full.

lol yeah. They should call it a throwback weekend.

How does that work exactly? Do they only eat the people who aren't infected?

Yeah. That way the TP can be used as currency for people who aint as hard as you. Next time you empty a coke bottle, turn it into a bidet.

What do you mean "now"? They've been doing this every election cycle. This is probably just the first time the fear mongering was so obviously politically motivated. I used to naively think it was about ratings.

Why would my regular eatin beans be different than my doomsday beans? That makes no sense.

No I just farted. Had some beans last night with a coupla jalapenos that must have been hotter than I realized. I'm still sweating today from them.

LOL. I had forgotten about that meaning for inflation. But that doesn't help pyros.

I won't back down. Gimme the coordinates of your bunker and I'll come starve to death in front of your cameras.

What do you think the word "inflation" means? It is literally not possible to think about inflation and forget that costs would rise.

I Most likely wasn't going to watch it anyway, so just summarize it.

Pretty close, but not limited to 1A. I heard about them on a podcast. I didn't even know the sovereign citizen type shit was called auditing. But there's at least one guy who knows the law and audits the audit videos. Tells you what the cop and the auditer did right and/or wrong. I figured...

Quincy Carter used cocaine as a performance enhancing drug.

Does this one explain how he turned blue and grew a tail? And became german?

Yes. I WANT TO BELIEVE!

This picture needs a line of guys waiting for him to finish fixing it.

Getting back into watching this. It's still good, but not at the top of the priority list. I just watched the dex drugs and rock n roll episode. So, that ex was a tranny, right? I kept expecting them to reveal that, but no. Apparently they have non passing trannies playing biological women...

Do you watch any Audit the Auditor videos?

Depends on your woman. My wife prefers me to be stoic, logical and strong while she freaks out. Well, maybe not so much the logical part until after she's unloaded some of the freakout.

Bought some likker yesterday and saw the sign saying "you must be born before *this date*" And I said, "Holy shit people born in 1999 can buy likker now? That can't be right.

They say that back in the day in Texas, "He needed killin" was a valid defense.