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Well, I aint no older than I was a month ago, but you bring up a good point. I aint had pussy in 2.5 weeks. I'll get my wife to service me tonight and try some jalapenos tomorrow.

I have suddenly become sensitive to jalapneos for some reason. I am blaming the diet. They're tearing my ass up. I will keep eating them though because They're worth it. The bacon wrapped ones haven't given me trouble yet. Probably because of the cheese.

When I went to Disney, renting those scooters for $15 or a wheelchair for $5 was a cheap way to get an EZpass in most of the parks. I saw one case where 2 20 something girls had a wheelchair and were switching up who sat in it. Pic unrelated. I wish the girls had looked like this.

When I first started hearing about Henry, I thought "Got damn, how old is he? That motherfucker's been playing forever. But good for his old ass gittin shit done." Then I looked him up and saw he was in his 6th year. A veteran, but not an old timer. Today it hit me that I was thinking...

Dammit we need the gun club reactions available in this thread.

Well, you obviously weren't doing your job as a teenage boy and knocking them up and ruining their bodies early. So that's kind of on you.

Bro that's kevin hart. That's not a big laugh, that a midget cackle.

gunna need to see dem butthole pics dawg. Get her to write an F and an H on each cheek.

I don't watch CBS much so I can't say I've noticed. I have noticed though that other announcers have upped their games and I think it's because of Romo. He's still the best from what I can tell. If he's falling off I bet it's because he's been out of football for a few years. In those first...

Those pictures are related, aren't they? This one is not.

Where's the superbowl this year? I need to start looking for a hotel.

Sometimes I go to those estate sales and buy some of the shit just so people at my estate sale will think I was as cool as these people.

Announcer just said that the jags defense is so bad they're allowing 16 points per game on the opening drive. Holy shit that is bad. Without looking up the stats myself I can't even figure out what he meant. 16 ppg isn't that bad. Maybe 1st quarter points?

Online auction. I went through the first night and added a bunch of stuff to my watch list. Then usually I go back the last day to do my bidding because they usually add more details or pics to at least some of the items. I thought the auction ended tonight but it ended last night. So I...

He's a symptom not a cause. I was losing faith in them before he got there.

Just the tip. And then there is a gradual melding process where the genitals become quantumly entangled, so they fully engage without actually moving. Of course there's some movement doofus. I mean for fucks sake you move when you breath. And laugh at the ridiculous of it. And later when...

There are people out there who still think fox news is on our side.

Book learnin aint no match for instincts.

Figures a o-lineman would think wearing a tight shirt is cheating. Why don't you walk up to the line and tell the defense the play and snap count every time in the name of fairness?

That's more common than you know. Defensive linemen wear that shit as tight as they can stand to give the offensive linemen less to hold on to. Dude's probably wearing a smaller jersey than some wide receivers.

Actchually That's that bitch from the Amish Mafia TV show who taught us about Amish soaking. Mormons supposedly soak too. Apparently it's only sex if you move it around. Me and my wife did it once, it was so fucking hot.

That's why I don't update most of my apps. Some I wish I could just delete like youtube and google hangouts. But the ones I use, I'll update it as long as the notes don't say anything about new features. Fuck you and your new features, I like the goddam app as is and new features are always...

I used to always ID the cougars and it usually made them smile. "Sorry our policy says to ID anyone who looks like they're under 25..." I've always had a thing for cougars. None of them ever fucked me, but I'd go in the bathroom later and pretend they did.

To the best of my knowledge all cell phone plans are like this now. With my carrier, I got true unlimited for a lot longer than most because I stayed on the more expensive legacy plan for years. Then eventually I found out the legacy plan was being throttled too so I switched and saved money...

Definitely looks like some in the front are missing. I guess it was a damn good dicking if she was still happy after being arrested. That should go on that kid's resume.

You're probably right that it was Travis naked in his car. I didn't search for a story. Good points on it being Garth Brooks' fault that we have pop country, but I still maintain strait is what they're trying to copy. Success brings copycats. He was way more successful than brooks.

Maybe she was awkwardly looking for a sugar daddy to help pay her rent. Was she cute?

Whatever. He had a chance to attend a super orgy and this was just the excuse he chose.

If this was a response to the whiny thing, I think you misunderstand. Not talking about the subject matter but the tone. Blues is not whiny like that. They complain without whining. That Jackson song isn't anywhere close to sounding like a blues song. The way the notes all bleed into each...

You realize there was no video with that, right? Was it supposed to prove George Strait can play guitar? Didn't have his name in the title and I didn't hear his voice in the few parts I listened to. Also, since when is strait the king? That's elvis. While Strait isn't one of these new...

Can't wait till the inevitable meeting where you mix the audios and everyone else hears the porn you're playing. Oh sorry "youtube" video. *wink*wink*nudge*nudge* I'm a dinosaur. I still have 2 computers. If I was still playing MMOs, I guarantee I'd be crafting or questing during all...

Watching a sports show. They showed that Kyler murray had the shortest odds in vegas to win MVP and I was like, "Wait, is that a midget joke?" Maybe not but I still worfed IRL.

Alan Jackson is probably the newest country singer that I really like. However, that song's too whiny for me. I liked this one better with the same message. Edit: I like how George Strait's guitar is just a prop. Does he even know how to play? At least Alan Jackson strummed when he...

Supposed to be a lot of porn in those emails.

Good. Goodell is going to find out who really runs the NFL. Bout time his ass got the boot. Even if I'm wrong, it's a no-lose situation for the cowboy fans. I'm officially pissed at gruden now. Sports has been on in the background all day and I am sick and fucking tired of hearing every...

Oh yeah I forgot that up until about 2 weeks ago I was fasting nearly every day for at least 16 hours. It's not feasible to do it now when the mealtime windows are short and I never know what they're serving till I get there.

lol he looks 50+. Apparently he's only 33.

My doctor is also a believer in low carb diets, so he's got me covered. He dropped a lot of weight himself a few years ago.

No, not starving mentally. I kept hearing that carbs are what makes you hungry but I never believed it till now. For example 2 nights ago I ate like 4 tbls of peanut butter for dinner because the facility I'm on had a bunch of fried shit out. Not hungry, felt good. Played on my tablet...

How does acupuncture work for weight loss? I had trouble finding anyone close who did it. A couple years ago we looked and found a class that taught hypnosis but that's it. I started going to OA meetings instead. Those meetings are good, but I haven't exactly ruined my life with overeating...