Domestic Violence/Violent Neighbor, what to do?

Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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Long story short, women moved into the apartment next to me about two months ago and brought her piece of shit boyfriend with her(he technically does not live there, he is not on the lease so Im told). Ever since that there has been constant fighting between them at all hours of the day, usually 1-2 a week. Its pretty easy to tell he is getting physical with her(they get so loud I can clearly hear what they are saying in my apartment) due to the amount of banging, the words he says to her, and her constant crying.

What exactly can be done in a situation like this or what precautions should I take? Ive called the cops on them three times now and the two times they spoke to her she simply said nothing is wrong and that they wherent fighting. Ive spoken to leasing office since this all started and of course whatever they have done on their end hasnt got them to stop(they said it can take a while to actually evict someone, something which they have done so they could be going thru the process to do it). Main thing that got me thinking about this is that just today I called the cops on them and while speaking to the cops the girl said that she is getting annoyed at the cops being constantly called on her and that whoever has a problem with them should come personally speak to them. That leads me to believe that there is probably going to be some issue in the future in regards to dealing with them either with the leasing office or legally so I want to be as best prepared as I can.
 
Oblio

Oblio

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When is your lease up?

If soon, I would just start looking for another place. Since you are white knighting someone that doesn't want your help probably best to control what you can control and just leave.

If not soon, I would probably keep calling the cops and not talk to anyone the leasing office again. I would also make sure that when you call the cops you tell dispatch you wish to remain anonymous.


EDIT: I know this is hard to hear (shit it is hard for me to say) DON'T get personally involved. Odds are it will end up physical and even though you will be in the right, when the cops show up it will be two against one.
 
iannis

iannis

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Just keep calling the cops. She's annoyed that someone is calling the cops because her boyfriend beats her like a whore? Why do you give a shit?

You gotta choose one, Big P. Either you give a shit or you don't. If you do give a shit the only thing you can do is keep calling the cops. This ain't an episode of dexter.

Edit: Eventually the cops and the landlord will get annoyed, too.
 
Tarrant

Tarrant

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Yeah I would keep calling the cops, fuck it. Even if you don't care about the situation, who wants to hear people screaming ad banging around at all hours?
 
chaos

chaos

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Keep calling. If he eventually kills this stupid bitch you might feel guilty.
 
Agraza

Agraza

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Keep calling the cops.

If he beats her in public, would it be useful if he was able to record it on his phone or something?
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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Well just called the cops again on them.

As for me Ive never spoken a single word to either the girl or her boyfriend and never plan to either. Moving really isnt an option as I just resigned a 13 month lease back in October right as she moved in.

This is seriously fucking annoying. Those stupid fuckers next door told the cops Im just doing it because Im hearing them talk and pretty much harassing them now.
 
iannis

iannis

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It's completely surprising that they'd lie to the cops like that!

Keep calling. They'll break before you do. Maybe you can piss him off so much that he'll break her rib or something.
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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Theyre fucking scum. Shitbags constantly leave full bags of garbage outside their door for days.
 
A

Archangel_sl

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I have a similar issue with my neighbors, only they have young children, so the situation is ten times worse. I call the cops every time that I can hear things getting violent--if I can hear it, then so can the other 4 or 5 houses nearby. I'm not so worried about them telling the cops I'm doing it to cause a problem. Perhaps you could record the noises you hear, and keep the files as evidence.

Whatever you do, keep calling, I say. God forbid, if one of them kills the other, you don't want it on your conscience that you didn't try everything in your power to stop it.
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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I actually have recorded some of their fights on my phone for a just in case situation.
 
Lithose

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As others have said, keep calling the police. This shit only gets worse and if you have kids around, or other people do, it will be traumatic for them when it hit's it's tipping point. My friend lived in an Apt with this going on next door, and while I was there one day (High School) this lady comes stumbling out of her house with a swollen shut eye, and a bloody nose. A bunch of kids, who were playing in the court yard, instantly start crying and there is mass hysteria in the complex for like 2 hours while the cops drag this guy off....If you've never seen a woman who has been really badly abused, I will tell you that it's really god damn jarring even for an adult. If a young kid were to see that, I have no doubt it would mess them up a little. So fuck her, and get them under control before their drama bleeds (No pun intended) into your families well being.
 
I

ilikefoods

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Don't get involved. I've helped out a couple of women with abusive boyfriends and they have a seriously screwed up mentality. They have to make the decision to do something about it. I wanted to go and kick fuck out of the guys involved but I couldn't because the girls would have ended up feeling sorry for them, feeling responsible for the beating and get pushed closer together. I just had to keep telling them that what was happening was wrong and I was there if they needed me for anything. This was with people I know, you don't stand a chance with people you don't know so all you can do is phone the cops if it sounds particularly bad, be prepared for your neighbours to turn on you though because they may realise it is you calling the cops.

The girl I helped out most recently (left the boyfriend a month ago) still feels sorry for him, thinks she is the only one who can fix him, wonders if they would still be together if she did stuff quicker etc. Still believes that she is ugly, a slut etc. Seriously fucked in the head.
 
Azrayne

Azrayne

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ilikefoods_sl said:
Don't get involved. I've helped out a couple of women with abusive boyfriends and they have a seriously screwed up mentality. They have to make the decision to do something about it. I wanted to go and kick fuck out of the guys involved but I couldn't because the girls would have ended up feeling sorry for them, feeling responsible for the beating and get pushed closer together. I just had to keep telling them that what was happening was wrong and I was there if they needed me for anything. This was with people I know, you don't stand a chance with people you don't know so all you can do is phone the cops if it sounds particularly bad, be prepared for your neighbours to turn on you though because they may realise it is you calling the cops.

The girl I helped out most recently (left the boyfriend a month ago) still feels sorry for him, thinks she is the only one who can fix him, wonders if they would still be together if she did stuff quicker etc. Still believes that she is ugly, a slut etc. Seriously fucked in the head.
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Pretty much. You can't help these chicks because if they wanted help they wouldn't be there in the first place. Myself and a friend once spent over an hour talking to this chick about how fucked up her relationship is, how her boyfriend is an abusive predator who's using her, treating her like shit and fucking with her head. We finally got her to agree to stop calling him and arguing with him over the phone and to go crash with her family that night, then when we went home feeling like we'd done our good deed for the day he calls her saying he's sorry, she goes back to him and he, of course, kicks her fucking ass.

They're sick and it's sad but the only person who can help them is themselves, they aren't normal people who got into one bad relationship, usually this shit has been happening since their childhood, and they're so used to the abuse that they don't know or understand anything else. You just gotta decide whether you can put up with the noise or want to move out/try have them evicted for being shitty neighbors.
 
Big Phoenix

Big Phoenix

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I personally dont give two shits if the woman is too stupid to dump her abusive boyfriend, I car because they live right next to me and I have to hear some idiot screaming and yelling at all hours of the day and night(yesterday he locked her out on the balcony, about a week ago he was screaming at her over the phone for leaving him in the apt) over the stupidest shit which leads to the idiot woman getting abused and then crying. Also add to the fact that they are disgusting pigs who leave trash outside their doors for days and are generally shitty neighbors.

They more or less know it is me calling the cops on them yesterday, as after the cops talked to them last night they came and knocked on my door asking if I called them and told me not to be calling the cops for simple arguments and that they felt they are more or less being harassed now by my calling them.

Example, nice bag of trash which has been outside their door for about 13-14 hours;
 
Sulrn

Sulrn

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What would be the ideal resolution for you? For them both to leave, for the boyfriend to leave, or for the trash to stop sitting out front and that they keep their squabbles quieter??

If you want to assist in the woman getting aid, there are groups out there that deal with this situation all the time -- but ultimately it boils down to the woman growing up or getting buried. Ask the police for the number of a Women's Advocacy group or Google one for your area and explain the situation to them. They'll help talk you through what your options are if you have any -- none of them will involve you personally.
 
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