embarrassing/odd unplanned sex moments.

I was fingering a girl once backstage a show and my stage manager walked in

In high school, I thought my second blowjob gave me mega-AIDS.

Or some STD. I wasn't sure. The chick I was with was a virgin and didn't know how to give head. I'm not hung like an elephant, but I'm not tiny either... and she was small-boned to begin with. She ended up grazing her teeth over my bone more than a few times. I didn't care at a time because I was a teenager getting my dick sucked. It was a good night overall and I forgot about the teeth-scraping. Totally forgot about it.

So I get in the shower the next day and nearly have a heart attack when I see long red lines running up and down my dick. I thought she had given me some weird STD. I spent hours trying to figure out if I wanted to tell my parents (I wasn't 18 yet) what was wrong with me or if I wanted to try to get medical help on my own. It didn't occur to me until much later that the marks were scratches and not disease.

ghetto216_sl said:

I'm sure we all have a few let's hear some of the craziest, embarrassing, and odd things that have unexpectedly happened while you where getting busy.

one time my ex was blowing me and then she unexpectedly started to lick my ass hole. I wasn't opposed to it but I had to stop her. I said "whoa stop." She asked "what you're not into it?" I told her "I dunno, but you can't do that now I just took a shit about 20 minutes ago." Needles to say she wasn't happy to get this news, and came at me like "wtf why didn't you warn me?" All I could say was "I told you as soon as I knew?"

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No one could ever be reasonably mad at you. I've had my share of BJ's and never one did I think "Oh, I better warn her I just dropped a deuce before she licks my asshole". Maybe I'm just not dating the freaks but that never came up randomly for me.

Um, the fucked up one was asking a girl to "call me daddy" and she went full blown catatonic on me. Yeah, her father is still in prison.

As for embarrassing, bringing my girlfriend out on to the patio of a buddies apartment during a party to have sex, so drunk we didn't notice the blinds slowly being pulled open until we looked up and the entire party was watching.

Was having sex with my GF last night and her cat jumped up onto the bed. I just kinda just stared at it while I kept pounding

Tanoomba_sl said:

So when I was "kind of" seeing this really cute and super charming redhead, we ended up going back to her place (where she lived with her mom) and fooling around in her room. We pretty much got into it and we were interrupted several times by her mom knocking on the door and telling us to keep it down, but we were both pretty buzzed and into it so we did our thing. The next morning I had to introduce myself to her mom while soberly apologizing for the noise we made the night before. It was super-awkward, but I didn't care because it was totally worth it.

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I bet your totally forehead kissed the shit out of her.

I was banging this girl over summer vacation in high school. I got a bloody nose and bled the fuck all over her...thanks acutane.

Ok, Gross incoming.


I went to this "grunge" themed party back in college. This girl I met there and we broke into an abandoned apartment and started fooling around on the floor. So I'm fingering her and I notice that things are "extra squishy" in her panties. I pull my hand out and look at it. My fingers are completely covered with shit. No words spoken. I went over to the kitchen sink (thank GOD the water was still on) wash my hands and leave her there while she's just staring at the floor. We've seen each other out and about and neither one has ever spoken to each other.

I was at my parents place during summer break during college and I had a cute red head from one of my classes come stay the night there. She met my parents and all was cool. After they went to their room we started fooling around and it started to get pretty heavy. She was a virgin and decided she wanted to finally have sex, but we couldnt do it in my bedroom because it was located next to my parents room. We picked a room downstairs furthest from my parents room which happened to be the bathroom leading out to the pool deck.

Now I had tried to have sex with her before that night but she was super tight and it just never worked out. This time she brought lubricant and she proceeded to drench my cock in it before we turned off the light in the bathroom. I finally insert into her and we're fucking in all sort of positions for about 10 minutes. As she's straddling on top of me I notice that my groin area has gone from slippery to sticky. I turn on the bathroom light and there is blood EVERYWHERE. I mean everywhere...I was pounding her from behind standing up and doggy style...there are blood handprint on the walls of the bathroom. Blood is on the rug, sink, etc. I immediate go into CSI murder scene clean up mode and throw stuff in the washing machine. She was really embarrassed but I just wanted to make sure all traces of us fucking was gone.

Was pretty good while it lasted though. Redheads fuck really well.

I was home from college one summer and I was dating/banging this girl that lived a good 45 minutes away from my parents house. Well, we're going at it one night at like 1am(had to wait until my parents were asleep) and she busts out some handcuffs and wants to cuff me to the bed. I think that's a pretty awesome idea so I'm all for it. The sex is great, she teases me for quite a while and all that jazz. Well, like an hour later we're both spent and ready to fall asleep so I ask her to uncuff me. She gets up to get her purse and can't find the key. Now, these are actual metal handcuffs, not cheap plastic "toy" handcuffs. She dumps her purse out, can't find the key. Goes out to look in her car, can't find the key. So she's come to the conclusion she left it at home. Home is 45 minutes away, and its like 2am at this point, and we both have to work the next morning.

I contemplate hacksawing the wooden spindles on the bed, but I'm really not big on ruining my bed, plus how am I going to explain that one(I'm like 19 years old and really didn't want to explain the situation in detail to them), someone sawing something at 2am is probably going to wake people up. So she bites the bullet and drives all the way home and back, I try to sleep while she's gone but the cuffs are fairly tight and uncomfortable, so no dice.. She's finally back at about 4am to uncuff me, we both get about 2 hours of sleep and get up and go to work the next day.

My dad must have heard something going on in the house, as he was always a fairly light sleeper, and between a car coming and going in our driveway in the middle of the night, and doors opening and closing as the girl came and went, he didn't know what was up. So the next evening he asks me what was going on and I told him that we were hungry and went to Taco Bell at 2am. He kinda looked at me with that "I know you're lying your ass off, but whatever, I was your age once" look, and that was the end of it thankfully.

I've never used handcuffs in the bedroom since.

Side story, I end up getting mono like a month later, I'm almost positive is from this chick as shes a tad slutty, and she ends up cheating/hooking up with someone else during the 3 weeks that I was down and out with mono and couldn't screw her. Guess she couldn't wait that long... Fun times

That is why you always check to make sure you have the key before you lock them. Also you should get double-locking handcuffs so they can't get any tighter on accident while things are going on.

I took a girlfriend of mine to see sand painting by these Tibetan monks once. It was at a mall and there was this weird food court area up stairs. We wandered into it to get food and realized it was empty. Not closed, the door was open, it said open, but the it was empty. No one working there, no one shopping there. Still no idea why, it was really odd. Ended up getting a blowjob in a booth.

Dog starting tossing my salad while I was banging Mrs. Tortfeasor.

I didn't stop him.

I was banging a new girl for one of the first few times and she was on top riding me well and good. After we were done she gets off and the rough sex triggered her period and she BLED ALL OVER me and my bed. It was a lot, she was a heavy bleeder. It was like when you change the oil in your car and let all the oil drain out, except I was the oil pan and the oil is stinky period blood.

She was mortified, but I burst out laughing because I thought it was hilarious and wasn't really grossed out at the time. Ruined my bed though. Had to flip that bitch over for the rest of the year.

My "worst" moment was my sister walked in on my gf going down on me. She knocked on the door and poked her head in just as my gf was flying up out of the covers. Even though she stopped it was past the point of no return. Hard to talk with a straight voice during that. lol But apparently she never expected a thing.

Dick in ass works like a plunger...
It was her idea that night, and neither of us wanted to experience an "unplugging" again.

I was watching Vinyard and his girl have sex a few nights ago, and decided to hop on the bed for a closer look. He kinda just stared at me while I pretended I was the cat.

ghetto216_sl said:

That is pretty gross. Grossest thing I've probably done, is with the same girl from earlier. She was my girl for almost 3 years and let me do 99% of any thing I wanted to in the bedroom, but as crazy as she was in the bed, she was just as crazy outside of it. Any way we hadn't been together long at this point, maybe 3 weeks and had yet to fuck. She was, is a super hot girl imo at that point the hottest girl I had ever even made out with. Any way she stays over 1 night finally shit gets going pretty good, got her fully nude finger banging her she's playing with my cock, hair pulling all that good shit... no condom.. so no booty have to settle for the hand job and finger banging. Not complaining tho it was a good night still. Well 2 days later she stays again. I'm still worked up on the last time and apparently so is she, we pick up pretty quickly where we left off. As its going on I am silently berating myself for not going to pick condoms up since she was over last. Then I make my mind up. I think fuck it she is super hot I might not get this chance again if I can convince her I'm hitting it raw and I'll give it the old pull out method. Well she says I would but I am on my period... I thought for a sec then told her I am ok with that if you are. She took a little convincing I put on my best "moves" lol but she agreed, with 1 exception, now I don't know if she did this to try to make me change my course of action, but my dick had his mind set. She said I had to pull her tampon out. Well like a soldier with no ammo left and enemies all around, I pulled the pin on the grenade, grabbed a towel I didn't care much for and went to work. Now it wasn't as bloody as the guy here who banged the Virgin in his parent bathroom but my cock definitely looked like a murder weapon. Blood down mine her thighs we went to the bathroom and showered up together. She was even nice enough to was the blood off for me.

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Really? Having sex with a girl on her period is embarrassing or odd?

Sutekh_sl said:

Really? Having sex with a girl on her period is embarrassing or odd?

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I was thinking the same thing. If you have not even had to squeeze a poop-noodle out of your dick, you should probably just stick to embarrassing instead of gross.

Most embarrassing for me would probably be having a foursome and not being able to keep it up for more than 5 minutes at a time. Had to keep taking breaks to get back in the mood.

Most gross would be when a girl decided to deep throat and just ended up becoming a vomit fountain all over my bed, curtains and a guest. There is probably worse, but I cannot stand vomit, so take it from a relativity standpoint.