Eomer's Thread

I was constipated for over 2 weeks once in high school. It was painful but things worked out.

I once was at a funeral and had to take a crap, so I ran into the church bathroom. Since it was bad I was making some awful smells and loud as hell shitfarts. When I got done. I had used all the toilet paper and busted the toilet somehow. So when I left the bathroom I ran into the priest who performied the funeral and some other mourners. When the smell hit them i thought they were gonna collapse. I didnt stick around to see what their reaction would be after finding out I had busted the only toilet and left a literal brick behind.

Before band practice one night I had to take a shit so goddamn bad. Walked outside and just started spraying everywhere, it was fucking nasty. In the midst of my shit induced seizure, I guess I didn't hear anyone pull up. Grabbed some leaves to wipe my ass only to see a Jeep right in front of me housing my drummer and his girlfriend taking pictures. I'm smiling in every fucking one of them.

IHOP, man, IHOP. It was about 2 in the morning. About 15 minutes after we paid up and left. On the way home, me and a buddy -- our stomachs gurgled in this odd way at the same time and we knew. We just fucking knew. It took a few minutes to pull over into a strip mall. My buddy ran for the woods, I ran into the Food Lion.

I made it to the bathroom, but not to the toilet. God, it was everywhere. I would think the term "explosive diarrhea" was just metaphor and hyperbole had it not been for that night. It was everywhere. One of the cashiers came in about 5 minutes after I was done and just gave me this look of horror. You could literally see, "There is no fucking way i'm cleaning this up" going through his mind. He got me a mop, but I had to wash my pants in the sink and wear 'em out wet.

I got back and found my buddy sitting in the car in some stinky ass gym shorts he'd had in the trunk. He noticed my wet pants. All he would say about his was, "I commited an atrocity. I had to bury the evidence"

LOL what a nightmare. I had an unfortunate incident in 4th grade where some bitch ass teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom and when they finally did I luckily at least got to the bathroom but didn't quite make it to the stall. I'm pretty sure I just tried to flush my underwear and then I went commando for the rest of the day. Could have been much worse

On my birthday back when I lived with my parents, they had bought me a new dressing gown for one of my presents. I decided to model the new gown for them, so I went down to the living room where they were having a cup of tea. As I was stood there I felt a fart coming on, seeing as it was my birthday, I decided I would let rip right in front of them. So I cocked my right leg out side with a grin on my face and did a rip roaring fart, unfortunately I also followed through all over the floor, as I was commando underneath it! Luckily was a hardwood floor so not too much of a pain to clear up.

Bath robe in american

Lol yeah what the fuck was that about? I thought the dressing gown story was gonna end with a "they sent me to live with my aunt in bel air"

Is that a tranny joke? I can't tell anymore.

Because this thread is geared more twords the shit coming out of your ass rather than going into it.

In high school a junior varsity basketball star dropped trous to fart in his own father's face as his father was laying on the couch in their home. This kid literally diarrhea'd his own father in the face. I know his dad was gagging and dry heaving cursing his son to get a towel, as per the descrption from his older brother. The kid skipped two or three days of school in a row trying to stave off embarassment since his older brother spread the detailed story through the entire school. He got a standing ovation though in the cafeteria when he finally returned to school.