Eomer's Thread

A

Altaruk_sl

shitlord
140
0
Walking to school with a buddy in... 1998? Buddy decides he has to shit all of the sudden and can't hold it. It was maybe a 35 minute walk. He drops trou, props himself up against a telephone pole on the side of the road, and let's the nasty river of death loose. All the while, cars, etc. are passing by with looks of untold horror. Cleans up with his boxers and tosses them onto a climbing peg on the pole. Then we continue to school...

What a morning that was.
 
D

Disp_sl

shitlord
1,544
1
After partying all last weekend at my friend's wedding, we were driving to the airport. and I got the rumblings of the world's nastiest shit on deck. We get to the airport and he and his wife check their bags in while I make my way to the shitter. Crushed the fuck out of that toilet, and in my haste to flush that abomination, forgot I had my sunglasses on my shirt collar. Watching them fall into that was mortifying, but I couldn't do anything but flush and run. There was no saving them after what they'd been through.
 
Koushirou

Koushirou

Log Wizard
<Gold Donor>
4,884
12,423
About 3 years ago, woke up to go take my shit but it was hard as a rock and I couldn't get it out. It literally jammed my anus wide open. 6 hours, an urgent care visit and a grocery store trip later, all with my ass agape, I snapped on the ol' glove and had to just dig it all out by hand.
 
Mures

Mures

Blackwing Lair Raider
4,014
511
Iannis_sl said:
IHOP, man, IHOP. It was about 2 in the morning. About 15 minutes after we paid up and left. On the way home, me and a buddy -- our stomachs gurgled in this odd way at the same time and we knew. We just fucking knew. It took a few minutes to pull over into a strip mall. My buddy ran for the woods, I ran into the Food Lion.

I made it to the bathroom, but not to the toilet. God, it was everywhere. I would think the term "explosive diarrhea" was just metaphor and hyperbole had it not been for that night. It was everywhere. One of the cashiers came in about 5 minutes after I was done and just gave me this look of horror. You could literally see, "There is no fucking way i'm cleaning this up" going through his mind. He got me a mop, but I had to wash my pants in the sink and wear 'em out wet.

I got back and found my buddy sitting in the car in some stinky ass gym shorts he'd had in the trunk. He noticed my wet pants. All he would say about his was, "I commited an atrocity. I had to bury the evidence"
Click to expand...
Ah, I see you made the rookie mistake of ordering something, anything from ihop that isn't pancakes. It only takes once.
 
cabbitcabbit

cabbitcabbit

NeoGaf Donator
2,622
7,916
Years and years ago a buddy and I stopped into some random BFE dive bar after camping and drinking whiskey all weekend. After about getting 5 beers deep I started having the rumbling and went to use the rest room. After shitting out 2 days of worth booze and camp food that had worked through me I heard someone else come into the bathroom and ask "I hope you're not taking a dump because the toilet has been broke all week and I'm not cleaning it up." Rage hit before anything else since there was absolutely no Out of Order sign anywhere in this hick spit-stop. I actually opened up a window, crawled out and called my buddy to meet me at the car. Sucks for them that they started us a tab without grabbing our cards first.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.