Mudcrush Durtfeet
Hungry Ogre
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How do you deal with someone's suicide?
- Thread starter Rajaah
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Rajaah
Honorable Member
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Yeah, I'll probably err on the side of avoiding "crazy chicks" in the future. She was rad enough to ruin women for me for a while since she made most of them look boring. Now, I just really want boring.
I've got a few ideas for the near-term.
Kinda hoping the guy proves he isn't a huge piece of shit and announces at least concrete planning of a service (that requires money, i.e. headstone etc) so I know he isn't just pocketing the funds, and then I don't have to think about it anymore.
I'll say this, losing someone is bad, losing 'em to suicide is worse, but it's a ton of insult to injury to find out they were in an abusive relationship and the other person in it isn't gonna let them have a funeral. That's some serious salt-rubbing right there. I pretty much stopped grieving entirely once this situation developed and now I'm just pissed-off and focused on this dude. So basically he took away everybody's chance of closure on the issue and now the whole situation is gross AF.
It's funny, her male friends are sitting around talking about ways to fuck this dude up, while her female friends are just talking about ways to properly honor her memory like dedication plaques and things of that nature. The dichotomy is intredasting.
nevergone
Low IQ Vegan Pacifist
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When I was 15, my mother killed herself (cue jokes about how unbearable of a child I must've been to drive her to do such a thing).
She struggled through years of substance abuse, pain/trauma numbing coping mechanisms, and finally she ended it when it all just became too heavy for her to carry on.
She had a fairly messed up life, molested as a child, had a dad who abandoned her and a mom who became an alcoholic herself, resulting in her grandparents having to acquire custody of her and her siblings.
I was angry and struggled with feelings of abandonment for years. It's been over 2 decades.
Ultimately, with enough time passing and enough dark nights of the soul, the process of grieving truly does work itself out.
I now choose to live my life with my cumulative experiences prompting me to cultivate a sense of resilience, faith, and responsibility.
I'm a better man because of what I've experienced - suffering. I'm a better man because people I've loved have suffered.
I forgive them for the harm they caused as a consequence of their decisions and see it as a calling to help others who are grappling with similar issues.
There is profound darkness in the world; sadness, loneliness, anger, depression, sickness - sin.
God has imbued each of us with the remarkable power to choose if we will be tempted by those dark forces and submit our lives to them - or if we will turn to Him for salvation and reprieve. I genuinely pray more people choose the latter.
She struggled through years of substance abuse, pain/trauma numbing coping mechanisms, and finally she ended it when it all just became too heavy for her to carry on.
She had a fairly messed up life, molested as a child, had a dad who abandoned her and a mom who became an alcoholic herself, resulting in her grandparents having to acquire custody of her and her siblings.
I was angry and struggled with feelings of abandonment for years. It's been over 2 decades.
Ultimately, with enough time passing and enough dark nights of the soul, the process of grieving truly does work itself out.
I now choose to live my life with my cumulative experiences prompting me to cultivate a sense of resilience, faith, and responsibility.
I'm a better man because of what I've experienced - suffering. I'm a better man because people I've loved have suffered.
I forgive them for the harm they caused as a consequence of their decisions and see it as a calling to help others who are grappling with similar issues.
There is profound darkness in the world; sadness, loneliness, anger, depression, sickness - sin.
God has imbued each of us with the remarkable power to choose if we will be tempted by those dark forces and submit our lives to them - or if we will turn to Him for salvation and reprieve. I genuinely pray more people choose the latter.
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Mudcrush Durtfeet
Hungry Ogre
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I know you likely meant this as a throw away comment, but I profoundly hope you have done some work on yourself for this. Therapy, or whatever you need. That's the kind of thing that people live with for decades, and eventually it can drive them to substance abuse or worse. You sound pretty self-aware, I pray that is indeed the case.
Peace man. You grew up in a tough situation. Good for you for getting where you are.
nevergone
Low IQ Vegan Pacifist
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Thanks - and yeah, it was a bit of humor to lighten up an otherwise completely heavy post and topic.
A good portion of my adult life has been addressing the dismissive avoidant attachment style I developed as a result of multiple episodes of abandonment as a child.
I don't think I'll ever quite be able to get to a point of true security, but I've learned to compensate and be at peace with where I'm at for the most part.
Thanks again.
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