Mortal Kombat (2021)
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DirkDonkeyroot
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If this movie had a soundtrack on par with the original it would have been 100x better, still not a bad way to kill some time and braincells.
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a c i d.f l y
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Shang Tsung is the pussy bitch from the Dark Knight?
"I am Subzero", kaaay.
Jaxx has gained some fucking meat from his role as bitch Superman photographer.
Cole *is* Johnny Cage. And this shit is hilarious after the last hail storm that fucked up my Tahoe.
"I am Subzero", kaaay.
Jaxx has gained some fucking meat from his role as bitch Superman photographer.
Cole *is* Johnny Cage. And this shit is hilarious after the last hail storm that fucked up my Tahoe.
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Mileena and the Phantom Zone from Smallville.
Cole is a bitch.
Sonya lives in a double wide in a junkyard. "Special forces" my ass. Cole has a special marking as what? Chosen to fight and defend the earth realm? Man, they're fucked.
Kano wins. Fucking a.
Cole is a bitch.
Sonya lives in a double wide in a junkyard. "Special forces" my ass. Cole has a special marking as what? Chosen to fight and defend the earth realm? Man, they're fucked.
Kano wins. Fucking a.
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I always hated Kano. Fucking worthless character. Jesus fuck what an awesome portrayal.
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Liu Kang is a flaming tranny.
Sonya is a Karen. No fucking way she's military.
Kano is fucking cool.
Cole is still a cuck.
Sonya is a Karen. No fucking way she's military.
Kano is fucking cool.
Cole is still a cuck.
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Dead sea scrolls.
Let them fight. "Let's see if you have what it takes." aka TEST YOUR MIGHT.
Frisbee hat *fucking dead*
Let them fight. "Let's see if you have what it takes." aka TEST YOUR MIGHT.
Frisbee hat *fucking dead*
Brahma
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Lines better than, "I am no longer Chin Lee Chong (or whatever his name was). I am Zub Zero". Really? You're Sub Zero? Nooooo. I never would have guessed that. Did the ICE give it away?
Or totally NOT fuckup the Scorpion vs Sub Zero story line/fight. THAT should have been the big moment in the movie. They really missed a chance there. (Did Scorpion even warp?)
Or not having a down syndrome Raven with a dunce cap on.
Or how about not give Jax some baby, high shelf grabber arms, just to try and make his new, NEW arms seem badass.
Kano was good as comic relief though. I chuckled at the leg sweeps.
Was expecting at least Kong vs Zilla. We got Bubbles the Chimp vs The Geico Gecko. It was just off.
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Hahahahahah. The cheap leg sweep against Kano. Hahaha. Shit. OK. Well played. I'm very amused.
Hnnng. Kano is selling this whole fucking shit show.
Hnnng. Kano is selling this whole fucking shit show.
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Sterling
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That's way too high of a bar for video game movies. Expect more along the lines of Highlander 2 or Last Airbender and be ok with it turning out to just be Spiderman 3.
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Cuck Cole gets the Wakandan Black Panther suit of invulnerability to counter his bitch ass.
Jaxx gains the power of boners.
Jaxx gains the power of boners.
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a c i d.f l y
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The 45 minutes or whatever of just dumb stupid fun had me fairly enthralled. The rest I could make jokes about all day. It was just weird how it started off all serious, but then just jumped off the deep end of cheese. Though to be fair it was also self aware, and rolled with it.
Cole is a cuck and literally the worst part of this movie. If he wasn't in it, it would have been 10x better. Just cut his entire character, and everything to do with it. Barely anything would have to change. Have Sonya rip Goro's dick off or something.
Fatalities were cool. Still wish someone got to fall into the pit of spikes. That's always fun. Classic. Ah, well, maybe next time.
All in all, dumb fun. 3/5. Would watch again.
Cole is a cuck and literally the worst part of this movie. If he wasn't in it, it would have been 10x better. Just cut his entire character, and everything to do with it. Barely anything would have to change. Have Sonya rip Goro's dick off or something.
Fatalities were cool. Still wish someone got to fall into the pit of spikes. That's always fun. Classic. Ah, well, maybe next time.
All in all, dumb fun. 3/5. Would watch again.
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Sanrith Descartes
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