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kudos

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I can't believe you stuck around four years just because of sex, so what was it really?
I will be 100% honest and say the sex was a large part of why I stayed. The abuse is what kept me around though. She made me feel like I could never do better no matter how much my friends or mother told me I could. I was trapped emotionally. However, I truly do love this woman. I will NOT put up with infidelity. That is my #1 WILL NOT ACCEPT I told her about when we first met. She knew and she didn't listen. She is already giving me eyes everyday at work. It's only a matter of time until she comes around again. I'm smarter now though. She will not get another penny from me.

No matter how much I love her it's better to just let her go. She knows I am out of her league which is why she stuck around so long I'm assuming. That and the gravy train was a nice ride for her. Karma is a bitch though. We are having layoffs at work and it's almost certain she's getting shit-canned first. Part of me feels like I want to make sure she's ok but the other part of me wants her to get fucking destroyed in all aspects (emotionally/financially). I ignore her completely everyday and don't even look at her. I catch her in my peripheral though. I probably won't get my whole $900 if she gets fired.

You can love crazy but crazy cannot truly love you back.

And 50% is awfully generous. I'd say its closer to 80+. Seriously. If you go out on a typical Friday night and chat up 10 girls, at BEST 1 would be fit to date. At the absolute best. I'd say that is an exception as well. The older women get, the better they are at masking their retardation as well. I've been to like 8 weddings in the past few years of close, personal friends and maybe 1 of them made a sound, logical decision on who he's spending the rest of his life with (and she isn't all that cute either). The others? I weep for their future.
Most women that hit 30+ are post-wall women who were whores and didn't settle down in their 20's. You do not want a 30+ year old woman. She is used up and most likely a self-entitled gold digger or her biological clock is ticking and she just wants you for your jizz. Perhaps her job was more important than finding a mate. How do you think she will treat a relationship? You will come 2nd or 3rd. Do not fall for these women. 30+ year old women are easy sex and that's it.

Men age like wine in the dating world. Hitting 30+ as a man (or even late 20's sometimes) is pussy heaven. Women age like milk. Get them fresh or throw them away.


Anyways, thanks for the supportive comments.
 

Khane

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Most women that hit 30+ are post-wall women who were whores and didn't settle down in their 20's. You do not want a 30+ year old woman. She is used up and most likely a self-entitled gold digger or her biological clock is ticking and she just wants you for your jizz. Perhaps her job was more important than finding a mate. How do you think she will treat a relationship? You will come 2nd or 3rd. Do not fall for these women. 30+ year old women are easy sex and that's it.

Men age like wine in the dating world. Hitting 30+ as a man (or even late 20's sometimes) is pussy heaven. Women age like milk. Get them fresh or throw them away.


Anyways, thanks for the supportive comments.
Man that is a terrible outlook. Are there a decent amount of women like that? Yes. Is it MOST women 30+? No. That's ridiculous. It actually depends a lot on where you live. Live in a major metropolitan area? Most women 30+ who are single were just focused on their careers or were in relationships they thought were going somewhere that ended. Live in the styx and especially the bible belt where women are supposed to get married and have kids by age 23? Well then yea most 30+ women who are still single are fucked because the society they've been living in treats them like shit the longer they go unmarried.

A large majority of the women I've dated that were 30 or older were very well adjusted and had their shit together. In fact, their biggest problem (in my eyes) was they were kind of boring and I just never felt a deep emotional connection to them.
 

Joeboo

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I agree a little bit with both of you. As a guy who was creeping toward my mid 30s, and couldn't stand the vast majority of women that were 10 years younger than me, it was getting harder and harder to find decent women in their 30s that didn't either have A) kids, B)ex-husband(s) or C)severe emotional issues.

They are out there, luckily I found one. I was 34 and my wife was 35 when we got married last year(met about 2.5 years before that). She owned her own home, had a solid job as an assistant manager at a bank, had no kids, no ex husbands, wasn't a 300lb behemoth or anything of the sort, and has a really nice family as well.

I honestly can't tell you why she wasn't already married. She had been engaged once in her mid 20s and that fell through, and had a few other somewhat serious relationships where she lived with the guy, but that's it. I was honestly pretty surprised after I got to know her at how cool and normal she really was. Even for the first year, I kept waiting for some horrible dark secret or flaw to come up, I almost didn't trust that someone could get to that point as a single person without any major issues. But then again, I guess I did the same myself, I was in my early 30s with a good job, no kids, no ex-wife, etc, but I think that is a little more common for men to remain single that long.
 

Khane

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Intelligent, well adjusted people tend to stay single longer as they look for a life partner instead of just someone they like having sex with. They date and live with the people they think they could marry to find out if they really should marry them. They don't just jump in head first because the first 4 months have been exciting and fun. That leads to long, meaningful relationships that weren't necessarily destined for marriage to end and why they remain single into their 30's. That's why the "Every single woman over 30 is wasted and used up" is a terrible, ignorant comment. It's not 1960 anymore, women have options and the ability to be self sufficient now.
 

Eomer

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Yup. My group of friends are mostly well educated, middle to upper middle class people living in medium sized cities, and virtually none of them got married or had kids before 30 (and only one dumbass managed to get a chick pregnant in his 20's). My girlfriend's friends are all small town people living in Bumfuck Egypt, with the guys generally being mechanics or involved in the oil industry as tradesmen and the girls a mix of stay at home moms and some teachers/nurses, and all of them were married by the time they hit 25, some with kids before marriage.

So it really depends on where you live and what social circles you run in on whether or not women are all "used up" by the time they hit 30.
 

Cyni

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I personally think that women over 30 are the ONLY ones you should be considering for marriage. They are much more stable, content in who they are, and well-balanced all around at that age. 20-25 year old girls are retarded.

Saying they are "used up" is pretty pathetic. You said yourself, maybe they focused on their career instead of fucking randoms in hopes of getting married early. I'd rather be the second marriage that works than the first one where she went in with unrealistic expectations and it crashed and burned.
 

Joeboo

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I'd rather be the second marriage that works than the first one where she went in with unrealistic expectations and it crashed and burned.
Ehh, I'd still be wary of that school of thought. As bad as the divorce rate is, it's way, way worse after the 1st one for additional marriages. I want to say I saw a study where the first marriage maybe be at like ~50% divorce rate, but 2nd one is ~70% and 3rd one is like ~90%. I have no idea how those numbers break down if it's a 1st marriage for one person, and a 2nd for the other, but it probably still isn't good. I doubt it's any better than that initial 50% failure rate.
 

BoldW

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Childless Widows are the best catches as long as they're not lugging around the ashes.
 

Frenzied Wombat

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Women all over the world are fucked up, just in different ways.
While I would agree that "female crazy" is universal, unfortunately the following two conditions are relatively unique to the US and make "the crazy" exponentially worse to deal with:

1) Men in the US have allowed women to distance themselves from "denigrating" traditional female duties while allowing them to hold onto all the "chivalrous perks". This has created a scenario that I like to call "double standard feminism" that feeds into their warped entitled view. Shows like the Bachelor, Real Housewives, etc further promulgate how the women is to be treated like a princess while the guy is just some poor slob whose sole role is to be "romantic", "lift shit", and "provide"

2) There is a far stronger correlation between "hotness" and "bitchy craziness" in the US than other places. Women here are trained from birth that if you're hot you've got it made, and furthermore they know that even if they don't "make it" they can always fall back on just marrying a rich guy. With wealth being more evenly distributed in most other 1st world nations, this philosophy isn't relied on nearly as often because wealth isn't glorified as much and there simply aren't as many rich guys to go around as there is in the US.

This shit doesn't fly in Europe on nearly the same scale. Though it's entirely subjective, I've dated women in numerous countries and NONE of them expected me (let alone gave me shit) for 1) Not remembering our 1 month, 6 month, 7.3 month, etc "Anniversary" 2) Not holding the door open 3) footing the bill. Fuck, EVERY French Canadian girl I dated would cook me breakfast in the morning, and if I paid for a whole meal out they were fucking flabbergasted with joy, surprise, and TRUE appreciation.

Go ahead and accuse me of having bad taste, bad luck, or whatever-- but the following pretty much sums up the relationship sequence of events with every ATTRACTIVE girl I've dated locally in the last seven years. I need to point out the attractive part as I have dated some 5's and 6's that were either so smart or cool I did my best to overlook the fact that I wasn't attracted to them.

1) First few months the girl acts cool, and constantly points out that she's not "one of those girls". This can be in reference to anything from letting you play your favorite video game for 1 hour without being harassed to "not needing a big ring"

2) Nagging starts to hit. Start fielding complaints that you don't go out as much, you're not as passionate as before, you "play your game too much", you don't "talk as much", etc... As of the intensity of the relationship that you experienced in the first few months is supposed to be the status quo forever.

3) She doesn't cook, she doesn't clean, she nags, she bitches, she's jealous for no reason, she uses you for everything from filling her car tires with air to picking up the dry cleaning because she's always "overwhelmed" or "too busy" even though you work more than she does. The reality is she's just used to using men and is horribly inefficient and disorganized at performing common tasks because daddy did it for her when she was young, and then boyfriends did it once she was old enough to screw.

4) You eventually realize that you are footing the bill for almost everything, constantly helping her do stuff, and you get nothing back except for sex and an earful of whining and/or rage. What am I getting out of this relationship again? You do your best to break up the relationship without unleashing the RageBeast.

P.S: One very interesting thing.. Ask some female co-workers if they'd prefer to work for a man or a woman. I guaranfuckingtee you that 9 out of 10 prefer working for a man. Even women think OTHER women are crazy.


WMASAW: What Men Are Saying About Women..: Top Ten Reasons Why American Women Suck...
American Girls Suck! Travel?"?
 

Big Phoenix

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I'd rather just make a list as the entire 4 year relationship would encompass more words than probably any book you've read or will read. I am no longer the same type of man as I was when I met her though. The abuse would never fly these days. Looking back I was REALLY fucking stupid to put up with any one of these red flags:

  • Physically abused me and left scars (Knew I wouldn't hit a woman). I had a black eye at work once. She bragged about hitting me to my co-workers and how she beat my ass. They all went to my boss and complained. She had a one-on-one with HR the following week. How she didn't get fired I have no clue. Pretty sure if I beat her I'd be out of there. Boss told me to take pictures of bruises/cuts for future use.

    Verbally abused me in front of co-workers (they all hate her and love me including my boss)

    Verbally abused her autistic kid to the point where social services has been called numerous times by the school and I had to be interviewed in my own home about how she was as a mother by cops. I lied (stupid looking back) and said she was a good mother. He said he wanted to kill himself numerous times at school. He's autistic. They don't generally say shit like that so imagine how shitty this kid feels.

    Sold marijuana and had an EPIC smoking problem. She smokes her entire profits away. She basically sold ounces of the shit a week so I know she was smoking massive amounts of $$$ away a day just because she never made a profit. Pretty sure this is where her bi-polar shit comes into play. She's smoked weed her entire life and is incredibly bi-polar even though she hasn't been diagnosed. It's obvious.

    Got arrested for selling weed and had a pound in her closet which was found. Some how she got out of jail time and went to court so work would not find out (everyone at work found her mugshot as we live in FL and people here LOVE to look up mugshots every day).

    Told me she should sleep with men to get money so I'd feel guilty. Told me men have asked.

    Asks me to help pay so she can get her car fixed. Owes me $950 that she uses against me. Threatens not to pay me back constantly. I threaten her back with her job and she comes around eventually. Never ending cycle these days for some reason.

    Gets $600/month for social security for her kid. Never uses it for him. Still always broke. I don't know where this money goes. I've seen her bank account before though. She really is broke usually.

Now this is all terrible but none of it truly crazy. That is until I found this shit out today. Now remember I was with this woman for 4 years and knew nothing of any of this (except the friend part which was an assumption I made and was never admitted to). Keep in mind she was a lesbian before I dated her. So in essence I turned her I guess but not truly as you will soon read.

My friends sat me down today at Hooters to tell me this:

  • Slept with my friend (was her friend at the time until she realized what a fucking bitch my ex-gf was and won't deal with her. Now a very good friend of mine. We were "broke up" for 2 weeks at this time. However everyone knows our breakups never lasted. Think the longest was one month. This will be changed now though. Permanent.

    Had internet dating profiles on pretty much every single one out there. Only put her pictures up so I never could google her name or email to find it. She always initiated contact with others.

    Traveled to hook up with a stripper (female) in another city she met online.

    Met another stripper (female) from a state over and almost traveled to meet her too.

    Met up with an ex-gf from a different state that visited. This girl was abusive also and they used to beat each other when they were together.

    Did cocaine.

    Possibly slept with a drug dealer from another state that she told her friend was cute. Possibly for money.

    Met up with various other women (4-5 not sure on # at this point honestly).

    Pretty sure before my lease was up at our apartment she was sleeping with one of the lesbians below us. Not positive but she was never home and told me she was smoking weed with a neighbor.

    Possibly sleeping with a guy I work with. Conning him into buying a house to rent to her since she lives at home with her shitty mother and her horrible boyfriend. Lives in the most ghetto area of the city. Her kid sleeps in the same bedroom. People have heard him complain about being broke at work. She basically sucked him dry in 4 months. How I lasted as long as I did I have no clue. Never admitted giving him sex though. He's pretty fucking beta so it wouldn't surprise me if she played him easily.

The worst part? I told everyone if there was one thing I could trust her to be it would be faithful. I said this to the very friend who slept with her. I do have to thank her though. I am nothing like I was when I met her. She changed me for the better after all this. I pull women left and right now because I have such a "I don't give a fuck" attitude these days. It's sad though. I used to be such a "good guy". Massive trust issues with women now.

I take that back. The worst part is that she has no feelings about any of the wrong doing. I cannot say anything to hurt her. She doesn't feel any of this is wrong. None of it. So I get no closure by hurting her, ever.

But hey... The sex was great.
Im just going to assume the fact that you guys where having three ways was the reason you stayed with her. Id definitely go get a STD btw.
 

iannis

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Ehh, I'd still be wary of that school of thought. As bad as the divorce rate is, it's way, way worse after the 1st one for additional marriages. I want to say I saw a study where the first marriage maybe be at like ~50% divorce rate, but 2nd one is ~70% and 3rd one is like ~90%. I have no idea how those numbers break down if it's a 1st marriage for one person, and a 2nd for the other, but it probably still isn't good. I doubt it's any better than that initial 50% failure rate.
First marriage isn't close to 50% divorce rate.

Just like anything else there are serial divorcers that push the numbers. You've got to be careful with averages. That whole 50% of all marriages end in divorce line is just lazy thinking. It is true that 50% of all marriages (or near-abouts) end in divorce, that does not mean that 50% of all couples who are married get divorced. If you stop to think about it for a second, it really couldn't mean that.
 

Joeboo

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Here we go, I was a bit off, but not by much unfortunately

http://www.divorcerate.org/

According to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:

The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%

FASTSTATS - Marriage and Divorce
Marriage rate: 6.8 per 1,000 total population
Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population

So overall divorce rate runs a little over 50%(3.6/6.8), with the first marriage being arond 40%, and subsequent marriages driving that number up.
 

kudos

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Im just going to assume the fact that you guys where having three ways was the reason you stayed with her. Id definitely go get a STD btw.
Used condoms for 4 years straight. Only had one broken one and I never was in her that long without one so I'm pretty sure I'm safe. As far as the common herpes etc shit well it's been a while and nothing has shown up. I'm pretty sure I'm good but I will probably get checked soon just because. She had blood work done a few times while we were together so if she had aids that shit would have shown up too.

I'm sure the "I don't want the pill it gives me really bad side effects" shit was a big red flag I missed also. No shot or patch either for same reasons. The more I think about the 4 years the more mad I get honestly.
 

Big Phoenix

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Dude you can get many stds while using a condom, let alone four years of fucking with a woman who good only knows who she slept with.
 

Frenzied Wombat

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Used condoms for 4 years straight. Only had one broken one and I never was in her that long without one so I'm pretty sure I'm safe. As far as the common herpes etc shit well it's been a while and nothing has shown up. I'm pretty sure I'm good but I will probably get checked soon just because. She had blood work done a few times while we were together so if she had aids that shit would have shown up too.

I'm sure the "I don't want the pill it gives me really bad side effects" shit was a big red flag I missed also. No shot or patch either for same reasons. The more I think about the 4 years the more mad I get honestly.
I don't understand how "amazing sex" and "condoms" can exist in the same paragraph. Now don't get me wrong, I certainly don't condone risky unprotected sex, and have bagged my Willie more times than I can count, but in a long-term (supposedly) monogamous relationship?

I tried dating a chick once that couldn't take the pill because she said it made her "crazy", but after three months of bagging it I just couldn't take it anymore. It just made the sex bleh and the thought of never being able to go RawDog again was extremely depressing.
 

Famm

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When you want to maintain 100% of the birth control decisions in the relationships, condoms feel awesome.