False. It's been proven that you have a better chance of having a meaningful relationship if you spend some time communicating before meeting.
Recommend a dating site
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Khane
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Show me this proof.
I will say this, if I communicated more before asking a girl out for drinks I'd probably have saved myself a shitload of money on women who I definitely did not click with.
On the other hand there have been a few girls I had a lot of contact with before meeting (texts and such) that I was actually pretty excited about meeting and then they turned out to be completely different than I was expecting and it was pretty damn disappointing.
Well, I dunno about communicating before meeting, but meeting online in general leads to longer, happier relationships. Obviously one of the popular explanations is that you're really getting to know the person.
http://news.uchicago.edu/article/201...ring-marriages
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/sex...y-to-last.html
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-styl...icle-1.1362743
It's really too bad that Match shut down the OK Trends blog. It was one of the more interesting blogs I'd ever come across.That's awesome. I need to read their blog. I'm sure anthropologists have wanted data like this forever.
Edit:
Oh man, this blog is win.
Also, added coffee meets bagel to my list of dating sites today. I kind of like it. 1 match per day and no searching. I think that it'll be a better way to meet people.
Not true.
http://blog.newscred.com/article/0fa...ts-coming-back
There is going to be a whole book and he plans to bring it back eventually.
That's great news! Thanks for that.
On a side note, it blows my mind that OK Cupid and match are owned by the same company. Match must have one of the worst user interfaces in the world, and OK Cupid's is at least serviceable. I don't get how you own both products and think, "Our Match user interface is OK" (no pun intended).
Khane
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Those articles are hardly definitive due to the timelines involved and the relative infancy of online dating (and data gathered). Not to mention some of that research was funded by eHarmony. Nonetheless I obviously use these sites and did find one girl that I really, honestly loved through Match. We bonded very quickly because of the amount of communication we had before and during our first few weeks of dating. I can't deny that. Unfortunately that ended 2 months after she moved in. Pffft, typical.
Over the past year and a half since I started using the sites again (on and off) I've been unable to even come close to finding the kind of connection I had with her for the first year of our relationship. It's starting to feel like an exercise in futility. At least I'm getting laid I guess. Maybe I should stop, I'm starting to become lazy and apathetic. Terrible combination.
Well the articles aren't definitive at all, but the studies are definitive in the sense that with only seven years of data there is already a marked difference in marriage duration and overall self-reported happiness. Not just in the U.S., but in the U.K. as well. Now if you want to argue that that'll normalize at some point in the future and it'll wind up with the same average with no statistically significant difference, that would be an acceptable criticism. I wouldn't take your end of that bet though.
Tuco
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Sounds like the first date me and my wife went on after we moved from okcupid to texting to phone to a first date. Whens the wedding?Last week, I received an articulate message from a girl who lives about an hour away from me. I had 5 starred her a while ago but never messaged her because of the unlikely meetup because of distance. I found her attractive, witty, intelligent etc. I was surprised with the message because I usually get "hi" or some dumb one sentence message. So, I wrote back, also being articulate with my response. I was pleasantly surprised she took to my response and we seemed to hit it off. We moved from ok Cupid to phone texting, and shortly after, talking on the phone.
while I agree normally to what was written earlier, don't go to a restaurant first date, this girl and I really hit it off. So I said fuck it. I got a reservation for an Italian restaurant for Saturday night. We had a fantastic time, ordered some good food, and I paid the $125 bill happily. I figured I'd splurge for something like this that I thought was right, otherwise I would've just bought another Jiu jitsu Gi with the money. We finished dinner and headed to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the UFC card, only taking my car. I had to park like 6 blocks away though. At around 11pm I could tell she was super tired, so I told her it was ok to call it an early night. We go downstairs to head out, and it was pouring rain outside. We decided to wait it out and continue watching the MMA Card. I the ran into a few friends who I train BJJ with, and they proceeded to be a bunch of bros and big me up in front of her.
after the event was over, the rain had let up a bit and we briskly walked to my car. At around block 4, the rain came pouring down again and we found shelter in an alcove of a store front. I jokingly said that if this was a movie, we'd be kissing at this point and she replied "yes please". By the time we stopped, two hours had passed. Never had I just made out with a girl for that long. Still raining, we made it to my car, I dropped her at her car, and kissed her good night. I get home and she sent me a text saying that this was the best first date she had ever been on and that I was one in a million.
tl;dr - found a girl I didn't want to just fuck, had a great date, looking for something serious with her.
We are both willing to commute to see each other. She is coming over on Wednesday to relax and watch movies, then watch me train at the bjj academy. Friday I will be going up there. Ideally, I prefer if she was closer, but she seems like too good to pass up.
I don't have "proof" but I've had two long relationships from people I met online. Each of them we exchanged lengthy communication back and forth. For the "random meetup" girls it was generally exchanging a few sentences. Though both we had few long emails until I asked for her number then set up a date via the phone. If you just keep exchanging and exchanging but never making a move things will fizzle out.
Lusiphur
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In my experience there are quite a few women who use dating sites for emotional validation. Whack up some pics and men will tell them they are hot all day. I recall going on a date with one who freely admitted she had been on the site (Match I think it was) for 18 months, been on hundreds of dates and wasn't interested in anything more than that. It was her way of getting out of the house. She was then a little surprised when I left after only 20 minutes.
Coffee is an excellent first date. Drinks is better as it implies more confidence on her part I find. While it is entirely fine to have extended text conversation (email, whatever the kids are using these days) you should set a date to meet very early on and have her commit to that. The man should always do this. If she flakes or procrastinates then move on, your time is precious too. Make sure she understands this. See Tarrant's story about how he met his wife
Coffee is an excellent first date. Drinks is better as it implies more confidence on her part I find. While it is entirely fine to have extended text conversation (email, whatever the kids are using these days) you should set a date to meet very early on and have her commit to that. The man should always do this. If she flakes or procrastinates then move on, your time is precious too. Make sure she understands this. See Tarrant's story about how he met his wife
Celebrindal
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Well, because of the rain, we ended up staying and watching the fight. And it was some of the most fun of the night watching it with her.
BoldW
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Khane
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I've been dating a girl I met on Match for about 2 months now. She's fun to hang out with, very laid back, we have a lot in common and the sex is good. But... her voice annoys the shit out of me. She sounds like a 12 year old (she's not stupid her voice just never matured I guess). I can't get over it and it's really the only stumbling block right now for getting serious with her. Am I shallow for wanting to stop seeing her over something like that?