So my daughter comes home from school crying. Send in the big brother?

Brahma

Brahma

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Long story short, my little girl who is 8 and in the 3rd grade, comes home sad Wednesday. She holds it in for an hour or so, then starts crying. After making some smoothies with dad, comes to find out that she was teased a couple days this week by a couple 5th grade boys. My daughter has a speech impediment. She rarely talks because of it.

I tell the school obviously. They say they will handle it. Last night she said she was teased again. Though this time she isn't as upset. Just a bit sad. She has no idea why they would tease her. I don't tell her why, just that boys are mean.

I just called the school, they say that she wasn't teased that they know of, but will look at it.

I honestly can't take the time off from work the next couple weeks to go up to the school, but I can have her brother pick her up after school.

Question is this. Do I have his little sister point the kids out, and have him put the fear of Brahma Jr. in them with a whisper in the ear, or give the school a THIRD chance at resolving the issue?

Suggestions?
 
Tuco

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How old is the brother? I feel like if he's in high school he can't come to the school and beat up a bunch of 5th graders. But if he's a 7th grader it's just his job.
 
Brahma

Brahma

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He's 13 8th grade. Big ass boy though. Not going to have him beat up anyone. Just scare em. Hell hopefully her just pointing them out and them seeing him will be enough.
 
BrutulTM

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I would be worried in this day and age. If kids can get expelled for bringing chocolate guns to school I wouldn't have the nerve to have my kid threatening some 5th graders at the school even though it would probably work and would be the proper American thing to do.
 
mkopec

mkopec

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YEah thats a tough situation. I have 2 boys, one 12 and the other 10 so I just tell them to man up and take care of business when getting bullied in school with my full support. But a girl is a different story. Time for some Brahma Sr protecting yourself lessons?

If your Jr is of driving age, it might be too much to send him in. But at least he could scare the shit out of the punks, just make sure he does not touch them. Verbal abuse and threats work though.
 
Cad

Cad

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Things have changed from when we were kids, there's no menacing bullies and fighting by the flagpole anymore. Kids get expelled for the threatening and menacing behavior you're describing.

That said, kids should get expelled for mocking a kid with a speech impediment too. I'd make the decision based on whether your boy can hold in the urge to knock them out when they openly mock the sister and him to his face, knowing he can't do anything. Kids are not scared these days, they will dare you to touch them knowing its you that will be in trouble.
 
Tuco

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Yeah if your kid started puberty and is a monster compared to 5th graders then sending him in the threaten a 5th grader is probably a bad idea.
 
Sutekh

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Show your daughter this video



She a strong independent young lady who don't take shit from no one and need no man to fight her battles for her. Who cares what some little boys think, they have cooties anyways!
 
BrotherWu

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I have kids in those ranges and I understand your frustration although, luckily, we haven't had any bullying incidents because our schools are pretty proactive about it. Before sending in Judge Dred (as our Dads might have done), I'd suggest forgoing the phone conversations and actually going in to have a face-to-face talk with the principal and let him know shit is going to get real if he doesn't handle it.

Also, you might consider arming your daughter with some defensive tools by explaining to her that she speaks a little differently and sometimes parents don't teach their kids that it isn't appropriate to say hurtful things such things. Often the meanest kids have some sad stuff going on in their lives and, on the other hand, some are just little shits. I know it sucks having to explain something like that to a child but there are lots of shitty things that we have to explain to them like don't take candy from weird people in vans, look both ways before crossing the street so you don't get smashed by a card, etc.
 
mkopec

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Thats not true cad, you can still take care of them. My son dealt with one of them. He was bullied by some little punk for a while, coming home all upset not wanting to get in trouble for fighting and such but he had enough. So he followed his ass home one day getting off the bus at his bus stop and scared the living shit out of him. Without even touching him. Problem solved.

Another one was fucking with him in the neighborhood, older kid but went to some other catholic school or some shit. He was older than him too, by 2 yrs, but smaller. He would follow him around the neighborhood talking shit and threatening him. So I told my son to stand up to him. Well he did, he grabbed the kid by the shirt and threw his ass down to the ground one day after he had enough. Problem solved. His dad came over my house bitching at me one day after this incident and I set his ass straight too. I told him that his son is a fucking bully, 2 yrs older and fucking with my son, so I gave my son the blessing to beat his ass, and would do it again if he did not stop.
 
lurkingdirk

lurkingdirk

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As someone who works closely with my children in their elementary and middle schools, I can tell you with certainty that sending in the brother to threaten, or whatever, is an absolutely horrible idea. There are a few possible outcomes, the most severe of which are that your son gets severely disciplined, or the bullies seek out your daughter further because they know your son can't really do anything.

Plus, the school would shit on your chest if they heard about it.

The very best thing that you can do, in my opinion, is to have your daughter identify the bullies. There are various ways to do that - find the school photo from the previous year, and have her point them out. Once the bullies are identified, the school can go batshit wild on them, and likely will. Bullying is simply not tolerated.

At my son's school there was an instance of pretty severe physical bullying. The parents worked with the school to identify the bullies, and then had one of the fathers from the school, who is a cop, go and talk to that classroom about bullying, and pointed out those boys specifically by name, saying they had acted as bullies, and that their behaviour was being monitored very closely. They about shit their pants in class, and they've been pretty good since.
 
C

Column_sl

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Best thing you can do for any kid is get them in self defense as soon as possible. It instills amazing self confidence, healthy living, and a hard work ethic.

You can get involved with that as well with her, because it is a great stress reliever.

I'd suggest something like Bahala Na, or any of the Philippines martial arts. Something I've taken for over a Decade now. Usually the instructors for that are excellent due to the rigorous testing process, and everything is at least real world proven versus more of a sport like the popular Tae Kwon Do
 
Noodleface

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This dude at my work was stalking my sister (16 at the time). Me and the brother put the fear of god in the kid and never saw him again - literally. He quit and we don't know where he went. Apologized profusely and everything then disappeared.

I would have the bro walk up to them and tell them that if they say anything else to his sister he'll kick their asses.

We all know getting in trouble in 8th grade aint worth a shit in the long run. If your son don't care, let him do it.
 
R

Remit_sl

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I say have your son pop one in the face. He will get in a ton of trouble, but the whole "zero tolerance to bullying" is a fucking joke. What happens when these kids hit about 7th grade and realize that there isn't a "permanent record" that will taint your existence when you get sent to the principle's office? It is human nature to pick on those who are different, and the only thing that keeps kids from becoming little assholes are good parents or fear of physical harm. Parents these days suck, so bring the pain.

#sheepdog
 
Sutekh

Sutekh

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Remit_sl said:
I say have your son pop one in the face. He will get in a ton of trouble, but the whole "zero tolerance to bullying" is a fucking joke. What happens when these kids hit about 7th grade and realize that there isn't a "permanent record" that will taint your existence when you get sent to the principle's office? It is human nature to pick on those who are different, and the only thing that keeps kids from becoming little assholes are good parents or fear of physical harm. Parents these days suck, so bring the pain.

#sheepdog
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I like how you tell the father asking what to do about his Daughter that he sucks at being a parent so have his son punch one of the 12 year olds in the face. Bravo.
 
mkopec

mkopec

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I think this anti bully shit in schools is fucking wrong. There are still bullies and they still bully people, but now those that get bullied are being punished for not having the ability to stand up for themselves. Snitching on them to administrators or sending Mommy and Daddy in to fight your battles is even worse because then youre labeled a fucking snitch, mommas boy or whatever and treated even worse by more people.

Its all part of growing up, life lessons. Let the kids solve the problems themselves like was done since the beginning of time. Then parents and admins get involved when shit gets too rough. Bullying does not stop in school either, its a part of adult life too. Those lessons need to be learned. On both sides, whether you're the bully or the one that gets bullied.
 
Noodleface

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Remit_sl said:
I say have your son pop one in the face. He will get in a ton of trouble, but the whole "zero tolerance to bullying" is a fucking joke. What happens when these kids hit about 7th grade and realize that there isn't a "permanent record" that will taint your existence when you get sent to the principle's office? It is human nature to pick on those who are different, and the only thing that keeps kids from becoming little assholes are good parents or fear of physical harm. Parents these days suck, so bring the pain.

#sheepdog
Click to expand...
I support this. That's how it was done when I was in school. He ain't gonna get arrested for punching a dude in the face
 
Void

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Normally I take any "tough guy" stuff on the internet with a huge grain of salt, but in this situation I think sending the boy to pick her up and do a little passive intimidation is a good idea. I am assuming that you know your son well enough to determine if he is capable of staying calm no matter what they say, hell maybe even do a little roleplay at home so he has some good witty comebacks to things they might say. Everyone knows that cutting down a bully verbally is often enough. But regardless of that, the way I see it is, if he doesn't touch them or say anything like "I'm going to kick your ass if you don't stop" there isn't anything that he can be punished for. If all he does is walk right up to them and ask if there is a problem, maybe bows up a little, how is that punishable? At the very worst they report him for bullying (ironically), and it gets brought in to the principal, who already has your complaints on record and just shines a spotlight a little brighter on them instead. You sending your boy to pick up his sister is perfectly innocent, and if she happened to be upset and told him that those boys were picking on her, there is nothing wrong with him walking over and asking them politely to stop.

I see no real downside, honestly, assuming your boy doesn't start swinging of course, or even touches them at all.
 
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