Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

Melvin · Dec 17, 2017

I just downloaded a screener, and 17 minutes into this garbage I'm ready to be done with it. I hit pause almost immediately after Luke said "where's Han," which was five seconds after I said "where's Han." I haven't even watched the next scene yet, but I saw that faggot wearing that helmet and I'm already convinced that Emo Ren is going to smash his helmet in the next five seconds.

Does this shit get any better? Does it get so bad that the awfulness becomes a form of entertainment in and of itself?

sukik · Dec 17, 2017

I don't think I care about any of the remaining storylines after watching this. I'd give it a solid 2.5/5 because the audio work and visuals were solid but 2/3rds of the story was a train wreck. All the mysteries and conflicts setup in TFA were resolved in pretty dumb scenarios.

Melvin · Dec 17, 2017

goishen said:
Dude. I just got back from this piece of shit movie. Now, I'm a guy who liked the prequels. Darth Maul? Cool. This piece of shit? This made me wanna get up and walk the fuck out. As soon as I saw ...

Leia playing superman in space.

I mean, I wasn't even paying attention after that, and I think the very next scene was Finn and Margaret Cho's look alike scene. I just wanted the fucking thing to be over.

It is a huge dumpster fire. I'd rather sit here and watch all four seasons of Dark Matter (a cancelled SciFi channel show) again than to have to be subjected to this piece of shit movie again.

Fuck, and you can tell people are pissed about this movie when I go to google and type in sy, and it pulls up synchronous communications. This movie is a dumpster fire. BTW, if you didn't know, synchronous communications is how the First Order would have known that they were communicating with Po.

I mentioned a few minutes ago that I stopped watching the movie, and since then I've been reading the spoilers and kicking myself for waiting this long to find out how bad this movie is.

Now that I've seen at least one other person that confirms that TLJ is objectively an awful movie, I'm just going to stop watching. Thanks @goishen !

The Edge · Dec 17, 2017

There was a Mark Hamill interview today where he was talking about recently discussing things with George Lucas about his original ideas for VII, VIII, and IX. I'm really curious what Lucas' theme and storyline would have been.

All I know is that it would have involved the Skywalker children. He was going to start them a bit younger than Rey, at 14 instead of 19. The movies would have a few years between them. Leia was going to have learned the ways of the Force from Luke. He also would have trained a new generation of Jedi. Beyond that, I haven't heard anything. I know they took some of his ideas and used them for TFA, but altered them, such as Rey and Ben.

Regime · Dec 17, 2017

Feanor · Dec 17, 2017

The Edge said:
It's been confirmed by Lucas that Palpatine used the Force to create Anakin, after learning from Plagueis.

If that is true then Lucas managed the impossible by making those shit movies even worse.

The Edge said:
All Palpatine knew through his visions was that if he were to create this child, it would help him destroy the Jedi. The steps that would take place to make that all come to pass was the will of the Force. There is no coincidence, and it wasn't by chance that Qui-Gon ended up on Tatooine.

That is so retarded I don't even know what to say.

pharmakos · Dec 17, 2017

you guys are such fucking nerds for complaining about this movie.

jayrebb · Dec 17, 2017

The Edge said:
There was a Mark Hamill interview today where he was talking about recently discussing things with George Lucas about his original ideas for VII, VIII, and IX. I'm really curious what Lucas' theme and storyline would have been.

/ourguys/ behavior confirmed, Mark Hammill to tweet #proudboy in the next 48 hours.

Chris · Dec 17, 2017

I forgot JJ Abrams did LOST, all the dropped mysteries and subplots make sense now.

Laedrun · Dec 17, 2017

I wonder how the lucrative Chinese market is going to react to the Asian “representation” in the film being the fat uggo lusting after the black dude. :smuggly:

zignor 4 · Dec 17, 2017

The Edge said:
On the lighter side of things, I found out today I fucked Luke Skywalker's mom.

I posted on social media about seeing the movie, and I got a text from a former hookup saying she didn't know I was such a Star Wars fan. She then sent me a pic of her with George Lucas and her baby from Episode III. They used her son to play baby Luke at the end of the film. Color me amazed.

So who here is going to break the news to her husband? Roger Barton (film editor) - Wikipedia

Brahma · Dec 17, 2017

Star Wars geek...I read none of the spoilers here. (I will) I KNOW my opinion will fall right in line.

This shit was not good. The pacing was off. 30 minutes could have been chopped off (see casino scenes). Story didn't advance. Push the goddamn timeline ahead 3 years, 10 years...whatever, so Kylo and whatever her name is can advance. Kylo is just a bad character. I tried to like him for two movies now, and can't.

So Princess Leia can now withstand a cannon blast, AND the vacuum of space. THEN somehow pull her old ass back to the ship. Put that bitch in charge of The Empire! GOD that was stupid.

Speaking of stupid...was there zero reason NOT to tell the pilot dude "the plan"? I know! Then we wouldn't have stupid casino scenes.

TOO MUCH HUMOR!! Though some was genuinely funny. (Luke with the shoulder.). The sad part is that those were the best lines! Which brings me to the whole, lets describe what the stupid audience can see over and over...which brings me to the bad actors. Which leads to this.....

Ya, I'm sick of the whole diversity thing. Especially when the actors are just bad. WITH bad lines. Outside of Finn, and honestly I forget the pilot's name, but he can act...I could have been cast and did a better job. Hey look, a fat Asian chick! Hey look a black pilot! Hey look, an Indian chick. Hey look a terrorist from Afghanistan! We get it! I'm all for diversity and shit, but Christ sake, EVERYONE doesn't need to be different. Want diversity? Give me some black WOOKIES!

They killed Akbar...Fuck this movie!

We get 10 seconds of Luke fighting. I know Mark Hammil ain't all limber and shit, but could we have shown old badass Luke for 1 minute in TWO movies now? Have him owning Kylo, then have a Star Destroyer fall on his ass, if we must kill him. Fucks sake, Dookoo fighting Yoda saved a whole damn movie! Same thing could have happened here.

I'm just not sure how this is rating so high on Rotten Tomatoes. I give it a 6/10. I liked the last two Star Wars movies MUCH more than this.

Royal · Dec 17, 2017

Brahma said:
Want diversity? Give me some black WOOKIES!

a c i d.f l y · Dec 17, 2017

a c i d.f l y said:
God, my expectations must be in the fucking toilet after Justice League, because I actually enjoyed the fuck out of watching SW. There were a lot of annoyances, but nothing that specifically just pissed me off like JL. Just a bunch of waste and silliness, but otherwise an entertaining film that was enjoyable to watch with a full theater.

I take that back. The kid holding the broom like a lightsaber was straight dumb as fuck, I don't know why, but that irritated the fuck out of me. I tried to forget that happened.

ohkcrlho · Dec 17, 2017

Luke behaving like he did in the flashback contradicts everything he was in ROTJ

remember of how Luke still believed in his father? "There is still good in you".
Even Vader being an almost fucking android, killing people, terrorising everyone, serving the dark side, Luke saw conflict and did everything to make his father see, although the dark side is more powerful, was not the right one.
Hell...he even said FU to the Emperor, knowing that probably he would die but at least his integrity would be intact.

With Kylo..."oh no..he's confused better kill him now. Fuck the conflict, fuck everything Yoda taught me."

Goddamnit....was a piece of garbage this movie is.

On another note:

Remember the knights of Ren? Yeah me neither lol
So much potential with that and like Phasma (for a 2nd time), completely wasted.

Vaclav · Dec 17, 2017

I do find it interesting that so many people here have a problem with Luke's character development with the views so many of you have in other subjects - this has changed him from just a shiny eyed dreamer that somehow always made things work - into someone that feels more like a real human with views developing and changing with life experiences hardening him to the world.

Royal · Dec 17, 2017

Lithose said:
Secondly, about Rey's parentage. I totally agree, a shire-folk story would be fantastic. But Rey is not a Hobbit. Rey is an Aragorn. The thing that made the shire-folk so amazing is they were innocently naive and inept.

I'm gonna put a pin in the Luke stuff for now until after I've seen it again.

But the Tolkien line that came to mind is just that and not a strict one-to-one comparison on my part. More to do with her origins as someone of little consequence who fate has chosen to make a shaper of consequences. I'm not saying hers is a full blown shire-folk story because like you said we pick it up with her already being a very capable person. But she's not an Aragorn. He was very much the product of a bloodline. The reason he was a man of great abilities was due in part to his Numenorean blood. A large part of his motivations as a character were the responsibilities he felt that he inherited from his forebears and some of his misgivings were born out of the possibility of having also inherited their weaknesses. Rey has none of that going on. She is the departure from what was really just an anomaly with the Skywalkers as the First Family of force users or the very idea that there should even be a First Family where the force is concerned. Though it seems she may be a different sort of anomaly herself.

Gavinmad · Dec 17, 2017

zignor 4 said:
So who here is going to break the news to her husband? Roger Barton (film editor) - Wikipedia

Didn't you know? Coheed and Cambria wrote a song about The Edge.

khorum · Dec 17, 2017

Lithose said:
The problem is, where did the failure within himself come from? His internal logic and self up until he tried to murder a child was obscenely hopeful in good outcomes. And he was consistently rewarded for that with amazing wins that should have flooded his mind with enough dopamine to get him hooked on being naively hopeful.

Seriously. Not a single time Luke chose to place his faith in others was he let down. Faith Han Solo is more than a greedy asshole--Han Solo comes back and saves him, becomes a good guy. Faith his genocidal father who killed his family and teacher will respond to a few kind words from his son and defeat the eternal darkness with? Reward--father saves him, destroys the Empire for him.

Dude is batting a thousand with believing in the best in people, and the universe has been sucking his dick for being naively hopeful literally every time he does so. But then a child he senses some darkness in and decides "No, this mother fucker...I need to kill".

It's just so absurd. There needed to be a lead up to that. Like constant failures in corrupt world leaders as he tried to rebuild the Republic. Realizing his hopeful attitude toward people was consistently repaid with back stabbing and viciousness, and his exploits before were flukes. Give him that "glory years passed with college" bitter old man vibe where he realizes all of his success was a fluke, he got lucky, and it will never come again. Someone broken down like that, and cynical of the world--I could see him thinking for a moment that it would be better to 'fix" problems before they started.

But none of that happened. He just went nuts.

Answering that could take a movie by itself. It would be Star Wars hogwarts where Harry Potter was being possessed by Voldemort and dumbledore only discovers it by using the most intrusive magic possible! Goddamn that analogy is like poetry.

Anyways, WHERE that internal sense of failure is explained in TLJ too:

Luke himself explains that his failure as a master was when he came to and saw most of his students murdered and his new temple in flames. His own doubt and overreaction provoked that and like anyone whose convictions have been disrupted he chose to go inward and confront them.

In fact, the portrayal that he came ready to attack Ben was BEN’S version of it. When Luke admits it, he just saw Snoke’s growing corruption on Ben and was repulsed by BEN’S ACCEPTANCE OF IT—he didn’t come in there looking to kill Ben, but Ben woke up at the wrong moment and was provoked into that reaction.

The script mirrors that when Luke observes the same ‘openness’ in Rey—he says “you didn’t even think twice about refusing it” when Rey sees the evil force hole at the bottom of the island. Luke saw the same potential for corruption in Rey and started freaking out with “ive seen this sort of raw power before. It didn’t frighten me then. It does now”. He is tacitly admitting that when he saw the extent of Snoke’s grip on Ben he wasn’t frightened by it at the time, but then Ben woke up and kicked his ass.

I get the frustration with seeing a fixture of one’s childhood being overturned and exposed as having the same frailties as everyone else...but that’s actually just so he could show one last bit of GROWTH before we’re reminded of what he is by the end.

Zweischneid · Dec 17, 2017

I liked the movie a lot, but something that seemed off was why things were so so desperate for that "spark of hope".

As (it seems) the movie picks up literally a day or so after TFA, shouldn't blowing up Starkiller Base be that "beacon"/"story"/whatever that spreads across the galaxy, proving the First Order is vulnerable and can be beaten?

Empire Strikes Back gets around it in the opening crawl by having time pass. Death Star is gone, yes, but the Imperium has been hunting Rebels even more vigorously since than (and it's partly called "The Empire Strikes Back" because the Rebels pulled a major victory in the original Star Wars to begin with).

In the "everything rhymes" schtick Disney may or may not have inherited from George Lucas, they clearly wanted to show the Resistance in their darkest hour, but I think there was a missed opportunity there by not setting it up, at least for the first few minutes, by showing the Resistance being jubilant and feeling victorious, possibly getting cocky and overconfident (both as a whole and Poe Dameron specifically), just to see the tables turn on them when the First Order pulls out the Dreadnought and/or Snoke's super ship and a bunch of allied Aliens abandon them.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

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