starting new job -- should I lie to HR and say i'm a homo?

kegkilla

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without going into too much detail here, I recently left my job for a better opportunity with a similar organization. within my previous company, it was very obvious that they had a bias to promote and protect minority candidates -- women, blacks, homosexuals. obviously i'm not going to pass for a woman or a black, but i'm thinking it might be to my advantage if i identified myself as a fag on HR paperwork. what do you guys think?
 
kegkilla

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in before "No, you should be honest with HR and tell them you're a fag"
 
hodj

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A better solution would be to take a cool bro in with you, and just suck him off and fuck him in the ass right there in front of HR.

Its not gay when its sodomy with a purpose.
 
Gavinmad

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I wonder if they'd still believe you were gay if they knew you had a baby with Tenley?
 
Izo

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rrr_img_105529.jpg

Buy some shoe polish. Get lynched. Profit.
 
Royal

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Go for something more cutting edge and hip. Tell them you're gender fluid. That way if one of the HR gays becomes suspicious and tries feeling you out you can always claim you're having a masculine day and not really feeling down for teh cack.
 
Soygen

Soygen

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This can be a good tactic, but be careful. The last time I did this, I ended up having to suck the entire executive team off and I still didn't get the job.
 
Faltigoth

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That is not really something they should be asking you on your paperwork, sheesh. Do people really do that these days? Unless you are going to work for a Catholic hospital/school or Hobby Lobby or Chik-Fil-A or some shit, that I can see.

Sounds like something it might be alot more trouble than its worth to pull off, unless your HR department is like located across the country from your workplace. All it takes is one dude to say, LOL he's not gay, I saw him at X with Y and then you could possibly be fucked.
 
Gavinmad

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Faltigoth_sl said:
That is not really something they should be asking you on your paperwork, sheesh. Do people really do that these days? Unless you are going to work for a Catholic hospital/school or Hobby Lobby or Chik-Fil-A or some shit, that I can see.

Sounds like something it might be alot more trouble than its worth to pull off, unless your HR department is like located across the country from your workplace. All it takes is one dude to say, LOL he's not gay, I saw him at X with Y and then you could possibly be fucked.
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It's Keg. He isn't seriously asking, he's trolling.
 
kegkilla

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Gavinmad_sl said:
It's Keg. He isn't seriously asking, he's trolling.
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all joking aside, I would appreciate some honest answers to this question. seems to me like there would be no downside to checking "LBGT". if i was just fucking around i would have posted to screenshots.
 
Gavinmad

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Since it's almost certainly against federal law to ask a prospective employee their sexual orientation, yeah, you're trolling.
 
Soygen

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What job asks your sexual orientation? I've never seen that on any resume or application.
 
hodj

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Possibly a universitymightask it in a completely voluntary and anonymous way, to ensure that they are meeting certain hiring quotas in order to maintain a certain demographic mix for the purpose of continuing to receive federal funding.

I'm not saying that this is for sure the case, only conjecturing that mebbe that could happen?

I know they ask sexual orientation and stuff for the students for similar reasons.

I always check the "Other" boxes on sexual orientation and ethnicity.

Just for the lolz
 
Royal

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Maybe he's interviewing for a job in the porn trade. I'm sure it would come up with those fine folks.
 
hodj

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Royal_sl said:
Maybe he's interviewing for a job in the porn trade. I'm sure it would come up with those fine folks.
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Nah, most gay porn actors are straight in real life.

They do it because they make more than they would doing straight porn.

Men make roughly 500 bucks a gig doing straight porn, women are paid significantly higher, and itemize based on whether they do anal, vaginal, oral, fisting, prolapse, etc.

Men who do gay porn can itemize in a similar fashion, and so get a higher wage.

So they literally don't give a shit in porn. If you'll suck a dick for cash, it doesn't matter if you're a fag in your every day life or not.
 
LachiusTZ

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Gender fluid, trans native American disabled veteran = max points
 
Skanda

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Soygen_sl said:
This can be a good tactic, but be careful. The last time I did this, I ended up having to suck the entire executive team off and I still didn't get the job.
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Is that when Draegan gave you a moderator position as the consolation prize?
 
kegkilla

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Gavinmad_sl said:
Since it's almost certainly against federal law to ask a prospective employee their sexual orientation, yeah, you're trolling.
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i'm not a prospective employee -- i've accepted the job offer. i'm doing the HR paperwork.
 
Chanur

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Just walk in bend over and grasp the desk. You are now ready for employment.
 
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