The "drunk" post preservation thread

  • Guest, it's time once again for the hotly contested and exciting FoH Asshat Tournament!



    Go here and fill out your bracket!
    Who's been the biggest Asshat in the last year? Once again, only you can decide!

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
6,338
7,144
So I've had an interesting last few days...

First of all, the co-worker I'm absolutely in love with, I still am. We've had numerous more hangouts, they're always the same, we get drunk, and just are all over each other, but nothing happens. I don't make that move, and she sure as hell doesn't. We just are "BFFs", which is fine, because she's married. We had a pool party at my house, she had the biggest wet bathing suit camel toe ever, I couldn't help but stare. After the pool I was laying down on a sun chair and she came and laid on the chair with me and put her head in my arm, it was bizarre, I have a pic haha. A couple of weeks ago we had another work night out drinking, and like always we sat by each other, and just were all over each other all night. Another girl at work that likes me got upset and asked if we were having an affair! I walked her to her car when she left, and I texted her "goodnight beautiful Xxx" and she wrote back "goodnight my sweet Xxx". It's just weird. But I'm just always going to be her friend and never do anything and just be appreciative for what I get from her. And if her husband gets cancer I'm stepping up immediately :)

--

Besides that... I was at work on Friday after July 4, and a new girl, who is a temporary traveller that I've never met before, I see her there and I was like "who the fuck is this?????" I end up spending next 6 hours working with her, and she's flirty, etc. Has a nice marriage ring, but jokes she's in an open relationship. So I add her on FB right when I leave work. We text all night on there, and she tells me, in fact, that she's been married 10 years (she's 29) and they just agreed last week to have an open relationship. She says she loves him, wants to have kids with him, but needs something for now, and that he's cool with it and she's trying to help him get someone to fuck. So she comes over. I'm not kidding, fucking amazing body, thin, natural beautiful tits, perfect vag, just beautiful. We messed around and fucked for hours and hours. Repeated two nights later with a "date" thrown in (dinner, drinks, etc.) She's legit looking for a boyfriend down here while she's married and her husband is fucking someone else. Basically she can hang out when he finds someone to fuck, but can't come over otherwise. So it's basically a thing where I can enjoy fucking her, but don't get attached and absolutely nothing will come of this long term. I couldn't be happeier. She's hot, fucking amazing body, and just wants to fuck me.

And tonight was interesting. Me and the girl I'm in love with, we had another work function tonight but it was a brief thing at a brewery. Neither of us care for beer so we went walking to the adjacent places looking for alcohol, walk into this bar that I never even knew existed and got some drinks to go. The bartender, who is 20, blond, and beautiful, was flirty and complementary to me (I have nice skin -- what??) So we left, then after she went home, I went back to the bar to talk to this girl. Literally just me and her in the bar at this point. We chatted a bunch, I helped her close the bar, then I invited her to my house to make her some drinks (my car is elsewhere from a Lyft ride earlier.) She just left, at 3:30am, must have been here about 5 hours, just stunning, perfect 20 year old body. No sex yet, but pretty damn close.

It's just interesting. I thought I was about to be in a big dry spell because I'm ejecting a lot of bullshit from my life, then I got lucky with both of these girls in a short time span. Very lucky!
 
  • 1WTF
  • 1Hodjing
  • 1Picard
Reactions: 2 users

dizzie

Triggered Happy
2,509
3,937
So I've had an interesting last few days...

First of all, the co-worker I'm absolutely in love with, I still am. We've had numerous more hangouts, they're always the same, we get drunk, and just are all over each other, but nothing happens. I don't make that move, and she sure as hell doesn't. We just are "BFFs", which is fine, because she's married. We had a pool party at my house, she had the biggest wet bathing suit camel toe ever, I couldn't help but stare. After the pool I was laying down on a sun chair and she came and laid on the chair with me and put her head in my arm, it was bizarre, I have a pic haha. A couple of weeks ago we had another work night out drinking, and like always we sat by each other, and just were all over each other all night. Another girl at work that likes me got upset and asked if we were having an affair! I walked her to her car when she left, and I texted her "goodnight beautiful Xxx" and she wrote back "goodnight my sweet Xxx". It's just weird. But I'm just always going to be her friend and never do anything and just be appreciative for what I get from her. And if her husband gets cancer I'm stepping up immediately :)

--

Besides that... I was at work on Friday after July 4, and a new girl, who is a temporary traveller that I've never met before, I see her there and I was like "who the fuck is this?????" I end up spending next 6 hours working with her, and she's flirty, etc. Has a nice marriage ring, but jokes she's in an open relationship. So I add her on FB right when I leave work. We text all night on there, and she tells me, in fact, that she's been married 10 years (she's 29) and they just agreed last week to have an open relationship. She says she loves him, wants to have kids with him, but needs something for now, and that he's cool with it and she's trying to help him get someone to fuck. So she comes over. I'm not kidding, fucking amazing body, thin, natural beautiful tits, perfect vag, just beautiful. We messed around and fucked for hours and hours. Repeated two nights later with a "date" thrown in (dinner, drinks, etc.) She's legit looking for a boyfriend down here while she's married and her husband is fucking someone else. Basically she can hang out when he finds someone to fuck, but can't come over otherwise. So it's basically a thing where I can enjoy fucking her, but don't get attached and absolutely nothing will come of this long term. I couldn't be happeier. She's hot, fucking amazing body, and just wants to fuck me.

And tonight was interesting. Me and the girl I'm in love with, we had another work function tonight but it was a brief thing at a brewery. Neither of us care for beer so we went walking to the adjacent places looking for alcohol, walk into this bar that I never even knew existed and got some drinks to go. The bartender, who is 20, blond, and beautiful, was flirty and complementary to me (I have nice skin -- what??) So we left, then after she went home, I went back to the bar to talk to this girl. Literally just me and her in the bar at this point. We chatted a bunch, I helped her close the bar, then I invited her to my house to make her some drinks (my car is elsewhere from a Lyft ride earlier.) She just left, at 3:30am, must have been here about 5 hours, just stunning, perfect 20 year old body. No sex yet, but pretty damn close.

It's just interesting. I thought I was about to be in a big dry spell because I'm ejecting a lot of bullshit from my life, then I got lucky with both of these girls in a short time span. Very lucky!

Are either of the chicks you fucked pornstars?

No: Try posting in the relationship thread
Yes: Post in this thread with pics. Then in 4 weeks post in the health problems thread that your dicks leaking gunk and it feels like it's on fire when you take a piss.

This thread is for finding out what porn whore died of an od this month, posting about porn people who say on twitter "I QUIT PORN OFFICIALZ" and then turn up 12 months later back in the game with new tits or pondering what the porn starlet you first blew a wad over back in the 80s/90s is doing now.
 
  • 4Solidarity
  • 1Cringe
Reactions: 4 users

Denamian

Night Janitor
<Nazi Janitors>
7,116
18,728
Oh look, a report in screenshots! What disgusting thing do I get to look at today...

What the fuck? GODDAMMIT MAN WHAT IS THIS SHIT?

I was expecting something along the lines of porn star corpses, but this is far worse.

I'm sorry! I was pretty wasted when I wrote that! They were not porn stars!

Oh no, you're not getting away with this. This is far to coherent for a drunk post. Your attempt to edit this out just makes things worse for you. The internet never forgets.

Pray to Amod Amod for mercy.
 
  • 3Like
  • 1Worf
Reactions: 3 users

Bubbles

2022 Asshat Award Winner
<Bronze Donator>
44,385
-29,784
you can't edit out quoted posts

GRANULARITY FUCK YEAH OR SOMETHING!!!
 
  • 1Solidarity
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 users

Kyougou

<Gold Donor>
1,516
4,923
I guess quoted posts are the kind of bullshit you can't eject from your life.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
6,338
7,144
Haha sorry! I just had a really good week, something about those young, pristine, perfect female bodies just drives me insane haha. I'm paying for it today, nauseated, hung over, feel miserable.
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
25,427
11,875
pics or it didn't happen.

Be sure to write FOH in cum on the tits.
 

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
6,338
7,144
I wonder if it was beer, scotch or bourbon.

Probably bourbon!

It's funny re-reading all that...

The girl I was in love with, we are still extremely close friends, but a large group of our friends that facilitated all those group hang outs quit work, so we haven't done anything as a group since then. Which is probably for the best. But she and I are 50/50 partners in opening a new business. The traveler nurse was a psycho and I haven't talked to her since probably a month or so after that was written, the 20 year old I never saw again. In a 1.5 yr relationship now, and we double date with the girl I was in love with.
 
  • 1Like
Reactions: 1 user