The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

Salshun_sl

shitlord
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The bottom line is that science needs an answer. We're gonna need someone in here to test this theory at some point. Think of how many people you will be helping if this works.

We need some tweaking, however. You have to add in a 10 minute later follow-up: "hello? are you ignoring me?"
10 minutes later: "wtf don't do this to me baby" "I thought we were in love??" etc etc
In all honesty, she's not the prime test subject. I don't think I COULD scare her away, the mutual friend that introduced us told me she asked my friend how could I tear down her walls so quickly and effortlessly. She keeps telling me she feels like I put a spell on her.
 

Betros_sl

shitlord
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0
Ask her if you can tell her a secret...
Then tell her that you think you're falling in love with her, but you're scared of letting yourself get hurt emotionally. Tell her that you haven't been able to think about anything but her all week long. Then tell her you wrote a poem for her (copy/paste a random love poem you find on the internet). Tell her that you think she's the one that you can settle down with and start raising a family. Finally, ask if she feels the same about you. Text her this rapidfire, before she can respond to any one thing you've said (like if you know she gets up at 9am, text her this at 8am), so that the entire conversation is completely 1-sided and she hasn't been able to respond to each individual line.

Guaranteed to get the response you're looking for. She'll get wierded out and leave you alone.
As much as I want you to do this for my own personal entertainment reasons, this plan really does seem like the quickest way to get her to leave her bf and ask if she can stay with you for awhile (read: so it's okay if I live with/parasite off of you then?)

Your first red flag should have been when she said that she was going "crazy" for you. The last thing you (/anyone) needs is an unstable woman going "crazy" for them.

.
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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More like this. All she fucking talks about is sex, all the fucking time, over nothing. Sounds lame as hell that I'm bitching about this but she's aggravating as FUCK about it. The bitch has completely desensitized me to porn in a matter of days.

She asked me if I would be cool living with her dog FFS, I'm out, I don't need a project.
Best solution.
 

Salshun_sl

shitlord
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Her: I hate my BF so much

Me: Is there where you tell me if I kill him we can be together, because that movie fucking sucked

Her:...

I really hope she was calling me on a stupid joke...
 

Haast

Lord Nagafen Raider
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Salshun, can I suggest a restraining order after applying the DENNIS method? Otherwise...
 

Hoss

Make America's Team Great Again
<Gold Donor>
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In memory of shalshun, we should change the name of this thread to "The women who stabbed you repeatedly in the heart and face thread"

Or something along those lines. No hurry to pick the new title, he's probably got at least a week to live.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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0
Salshun, always leave your computer on with this thread open, and a post-it beside the computer instructing anyone who murders you to pay a visit to the thread and post the story. That way, if you are murdered, you won't leave your kids--your bros--with nothing. It's the right thing to do.
 

Salshun_sl

shitlord
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I should add, should've mentioned it before, that she doesn't live in the same state as me. She flew out here to hang with some friends, my friend was one of them, and met her that way. She's gone back home, so I'm in no physical danger, until she comes back out here in late May. I don't think she's stabby crazy, just slutty crazy. She told me later today that no way she going to jail for him, so I don't think I need to worry about that.

Still...

garth-gun.jpg


garth-gun.jpg
 

Antarius

Lord Nagafen Raider
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15
Small update: I broke up with the chick that was into swinging. She ended up hooking up with an ex-boyfriend that she made very clear over the past couple weeks that she still had feelings about on Saturday. Plus I kind of realized I didn't really care about her that much and was mostly just using her as a wingwoman to get other chicks at the swing club. A) She wasn't really that attractive, and B) She was pretty damaged emotionally, she has 2 kids from her ex-marriage and her husband used to abuse her.

To answer other questions:
1) I ended up not hooking up with the chick confirmed to have Hep C, I thought it was funny that she would even offer though, she wanted me to come over and "snuggle" while she was drunk, she's actually engaged to some other guy.
2) I've been tested twice after breaking up with her to have negative results. Although (and I'm sure that this board will love this one) at some point over the last 8 months between my first test and 2nd test I contracted HSV 1 (oral herpes), I'm not sure when, but with 3/5ths of the U.S. population being infected, all I can say is BRRAAAINNNS!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidemi...herpes_simplex
 

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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She was pretty damaged emotionally, she has 2 kids from her ex-marriage and her husband used to abuse her.
You're kidding?!?!?! She wasn't one of the many well adjusted normal females who love getting filled on both ends by two men?

As to the Hep C, if you are for real with all these stories, you're an idiot. Why don't you learn to say no once in a while?
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
1,472
0
I should add, should've mentioned it before, that she doesn't live in the same state as me. She flew out here to hang with some friends, my friend was one of them, and met her that way. She's gone back home, so I'm in no physical danger, until she comes back out here in late May. I don't think she's stabby crazy, just slutty crazy. She told me later today that no way she going to jail for him, so I don't think I need to worry about that.

Still...
What the hell are you still talking to her for then?
 

Soygen

The Dirty Dozen For the Price of One
<Nazi Janitors>
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Yeah, hijack a plane and fly it into her house! Then you can be togetherforever!
 

Pigbenis

Molten Core Raider
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I'm about to get all emo up in this bitch. So I was talking with a female friend last night about that moment when you're in a relationship and you realize that things aren't going to work -- this isn't the right person for a long term relationship. It's a very distinct moment. A little background story I'm in my early 30s and have a 2 year old son whom I'm trying to find a suitable step mom for. Before he was conceived I was sticking my dick in anything with a heart beat and vagina, but shits different now. Anyway, that moment of realization, depending on how attached you are to the person, really really fucking sucks. For example, the suicide girl, I didn't trust her at all for a bunch of different reasons. I let myself get emotionally attached to her, but she never did anything to help me gain her trust. I've come to the understanding now that when you go through this realization the best thing to do is to just stop and break things off. That person isn't going to change because that's just who they are and trying to fight to make it work is a losing battle. It sucks and it can be really painful, but it's usually best for everyone involved. Oh well, it is the weekend and there is plenty of vagina in the sea.
 

HogTurd_sl

shitlord
8
0
I should add, should've mentioned it before, that she doesn't live in the same state as me. She flew out here to hang with some friends, my friend was one of them, and met her that way. She's gone back home, so I'm in no physical danger, until she comes back out here in late May. I don't think she's stabby crazy, just slutty crazy. She told me later today that no way she going to jail for him, so I don't think I need to worry about that.

Still...

garth-gun.jpg
You're always in physical danger with crazy bitches. Know that astronaut chick that drove through 5 states wearing a fucking diaper?

Even the really smart rational ones will tear down mountains in order to kill you if they can justify it in their own emotionally imbalanced brains.

garth-gun.jpg
 

Salshun_sl

shitlord
1,003
0
I'm about to get all emo up in this bitch. So I was talking with a female friend last night about that moment when you're in a relationship and you realize that things aren't going to work -- this isn't the right person for a long term relationship. It's a very distinct moment. A little background story I'm in my early 30s and have a 2 year old son whom I'm trying to find a suitable step mom for. Before he was conceived I was sticking my dick in anything with a heart beat and vagina, but shits different now. Anyway, that moment of realization, depending on how attached you are to the person, really really fucking sucks. For example, the suicide girl, I didn't trust her at all for a bunch of different reasons. I let myself get emotionally attached to her, but she never did anything to help me gain her trust. I've come to the understanding now that when you go through this realization the best thing to do is to just stop and break things off. That person isn't going to change because that's just who they are and trying to fight to make it work is a losing battle. It sucks and it can be really painful, but it's usually best for everyone involved. Oh well, it is the weekend and there is plenty of vagina in the sea.
By emo you mean logical and insightful?
 

Palum

what Suineg set it to
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Sorry, I can't do a Voyce quite as well bros, but here's the newest shitty M Night Shamamlamyalmylamn twist for me. So messaged this girl on OKC 2 weeks ago, gives me phone number we chat a tiny bit, but not very much. Obviously pretty hard to get 'interesting' conversation with people when you're both busy and have never met, whatevs. So we end up both kind of ignoring eachother due to busy weeks, then last Friday she texted me after a few days, I decided to say fuck work and said 'let's meet up for a drink tonight'. No response, whatever. Go abouts my business then she texts me back a few days later with the usual neutral 'oh hey hows things' BS.

So anyway she started jibba jabbing with random noncommittal chit chat again and I'm like ' look... sporadic texting is really fucking fun and all but we should meet up sometime this weekend, when are you free?'. So she responds oh she's busy this weekend but let's plan to do something next week. So I mulled it over because I've wasted a lot of free text messages for nothing so far, but I said fuck it so I said 'OK' until something more interesting appears as an alternative.

Then I wake up this morning with an 11pm text of 'Hey dude what's up???' FML. So anyway I respond 'Well, you know, making terrible life decisions like scheduling my car maint for 8AM, what's up with you dudette?' Then she immediately responds with a flurry of text about 'oh man thats cool that youre being repsonsible' (lol???) then 'oh hey i didn't realize you asked me out for drinks, I'd love to sometime!' then she logs in OKC, which I'm pretty sure she wasn't on for a few weeks and immediately adds me as a favorite.

OK bros, should I be extremely bro-dubious or what? I mean, I know we both know that we're both professionals so it's not like fucking high school where I have a car so that's pretty hot shit, sooo... lol.