The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

Khane

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Well if you can show me where all the hot, single 25 year-old chicks with no kids and awesome jobs that like to date 40 year old dudes in grad school are then I'm all ears. Meanwhile, the rest of us live in the real world where people live imperfect lives, make mistakes, and deserve second chances.

Like I said, I'm not giving out an unlimited free pass on this shit. So far I've seen that she acknowledges that she fucked up and wants help in changing it. At this point, that's good enough. If in two or three weeks I perceive that it's just a front to trick me into being a 'nanny' as you put it, then I'm out.
Stop dating 25 years olds. You're 40 years old. Grow up. You mask this as "trying to work it out and give it a real shot because maybe it will work out" but really all it is, is you wanting to fuck 25 year olds. Pro tip, any 25 year old willing to date a 40 year old is a loser or a gold digger. And since you aren't rich, that only leaves one option.
 

TheBeagle

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Stop dating 25 years olds. You're 40 years old. Grow up. You mask this as "trying to work it out and give it a real shot because maybe it will work out" but really all it is, is you wanting to fuck 25 year olds. Pro tip, any 25 year old willing to date a 40 year old is a loser or a gold digger. And since you aren't rich, that only leaves one option.
WTF are you talking about? I'm not dating a 25 year old. It was a hypothetical directed at Kirun to point out that the perfect woman doesn't exist. Your reading comprehension really sucks dude.
 

Ridas

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It was a joke, Khane.

And listen to Sutekh, Beagle. He is giving good advice. Give it a shot, if you really care about her.
 

Lejina

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Problem I can see rising is in 2-3 weeks you will be more emotionally invested and it will be harder to say that's enough. If you honestly think you can do it, then carry on with that plan I suppose but realize the trap you may be building for yourself.

I'm ok with giving second chances but ongoing self destructive behaviors I'm not ok with. A 9 yo still sleeping with his mom isn't a fuck up. It's almost an ongoing decade of repeating the same mistake every single day. A fuck up is losing your job because you called your boss a cunt, a destructive behavior is systematically fucking up with your kid for so long.

To that I say no.

I'm 37, so I know where you're coming from with the age thing. Still tho, I know I can do a lot better than that and so should you if you have your shit together.
 

Kirun

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WTF are you talking about? I'm not dating a 25 year old. It was a hypothetical directed at Kirun to point out that the perfect woman doesn't exist. Your reading comprehension really sucks dude.
Of course the perfect woman doesn't exist. But the notion that the onus is on YOU to fix her child is quite ludicrous. "That boy needs a father figure! Wonder Beagle to the rescue! It's not easy finding single mothers with mentally damaged children!". Because in world with billions of women, you should hang your hat on the one who has most recently decided to reciprocate sexual feelings. "Well, I'm 40, so chicks won't be interested in me for much longer!". It's so ridiculous how quickly men get "stuck" on one fucking puss. Isn't this also the girl who had possible BPD/Bi-Polar? Women who are single mothers, psychologically unstable, and have harmed their child's mental capacity to deal with the ills of the real world sure are tough to find out there...

How long until you finish grad school? 40+, solid education, soon to be solid career, and as long as you've kept in even moderate shape, you'll be swimming in pussy.
 

TheBeagle

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Of course the perfect woman doesn't exist. But the notion that the onus is on YOU to fix her child is quite ludicrous. "That boy needs a father figure! Wonder Beagle to the rescue! It's not easy finding single mothers with mentally damaged children!". Because in world with billions of women, you should hang your hat on the one who has most recently decided to reciprocate sexual feelings. "Well, I'm 40, so chicks won't be interested in me for much longer!". It's so ridiculous how quickly men get "stuck" on one fucking puss. Isn't this also the girl who had possible BPD/Bi-Polar? Women who are single mothers, psychologically unstable, and have harmed their child's mental capacity to deal with the ills of the real world sure are tough to find out there...

How long until you finish grad school? 40+, solid education, soon to be solid career, and as long as you've kept in even moderate shape, you'll be swimming in pussy.
I hear ya man. I'm a field biologist, I spent last summer climbing mountains in Glacier National Park, so ya I'm in decent shape. I don't have problems getting pussy. Maybe I'm falling prey to Capt. Save-a-Ho syndrome but I have a connection with this broad that I haven't had with the previous 20 vagina holes.
 

Khane

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I hear ya man. I'm a field biologist, I spent last summer climbing mountains in Glacier National Park, so ya I'm in decent shape. I don't have problems getting pussy. Maybe I'm falling prey to Capt. Save-a-Ho syndrome but I have a connection with this broad that I haven't had with the previous 20 vagina holes.
It's really just a matter of whether or not you think you can deal with it. Personally I wouldn't be able to because I would feel as though I am this woman's father rather than her partner having to tell her things she should already know as an adult with a child. I don't have the patience or fortitude to help someone get through their adult life, I need a woman who is independent and self reliant and doesn't need me to take care of her in any facet of her life. I just can't deal with it.
 

toomanynames_sl

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Khane, interdependency is a requirement for a true successful relationship. Otherwise there is no reason to couple. I assume you're not in a relationship or you would know complete independence and health of your relationship are opposing forces.

As for Beagle, he either wants it or not (the relationship that is).

How well do you know the boy, how connected? At 9 he should be open to being reasoned with. It wouldn't be hard to plant the seed of inappropriate behavior regarding his sleeping habits. "Hey bobby, I was kind of curious, do you have friends that still sleep with their mom? You know, in their parent's bed?" (worded differently of course).

I think Jerry McGuire(sp) had it best, you got to be careful stealing pussy from a single mom.

No job is more difficult than marriage; some folks just don't see it as work.

/2cps
 

Khane

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Khane, interdependency is a requirement for a true successful relationship. Otherwise there is no reason to couple. I assume you're not in a relationship or you would know complete independence and health of your relationship are opposing forces.
I'm not talking about relying on each other to get that sense of fulfillment that only comes from having a real partner. I'm talking about women who literally cannot take care of themselves on their own and be responsible adults making good decisions for the sake of themselves and their children without a man in the picture.

This isn't a case of "well I want to spend time with you but you don't seem to want to spend time with me". This woman's 9 year old child is still sleeping in bed with her.

Your comment about "no job is more difficult than marriage" is a load of horse shit.
 

Sutekh

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I'm not talking about relying on each other to get that sense of fulfillment that only comes from having a real partner. I'm talking about women who literally cannot take care of themselves on their own and be responsible adults making good decisions for the sake of themselves and their children without a man in the picture.

This isn't a case of "well I want to spend time with you but you don't seem to want to spend time with me". This woman's 9 year old child is still sleeping in bed with her.

Your comment about "no job is more difficult than marriage" is a load of horse shit.
Stop for a second and read what you're posting. This shit makes no fucking sense to anyone that actually uses their head.

From everything Beagle's said about the chick she is in no way incompetent and in need of a dude to tell her how to live her life.
Because her 9 year old son still sleeps with her in bed doesn't mean she and the kicked are fucked beyond belief. They've lived alone with just those two for how many years? It could just have been a bad habit that both have fallen into.

Yeah I'd agree marriage isn't as hard as it's made out to be.
 

Antarius

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Lejina is 100% correct, this plan is just setting him up to be even more emotionally invested in this woman... Which I guess is ok, if you really just want to bash Beagle, but the reality is, for men of our age, you don't need to "settle" really, you don't. 75% kids in the u.s. Are being raised by single mothers, MOST of them are tired, overworked, and don't want to deal with shit on a daily basis., want to guess how many of them allow their 9 year old to sleep in bed with them every night? I used to stay up till 4 am playing video games at the age of 12, because my mom didn't limit it, she was going to bars and smoking weed, instead of being an active parent, she figured as long as I wasn't getting in trouble with the law, she must be doing something right, but she was wrong, and it wasn't until I was in my mid 20s that I learned how to temper "most" of my impulses to stay up late even when I know I shouldn't. And lifelong habits are tough to break. And when I went to live with my dad at the age if 13 after my mom lost custody it was an absolute nightmare for me because he was so "unreasonable" for wanting me to be awake and up by noon on the weekends. I'm not saying he did a better job of raising me, but at least he tried in his own misguided way.

The crux of the problem: she doesn't think she is doing harm to her child. She is only agreeing to this because it upsets you. This is going to create additional friction on your relationship with your girlfriend, because if she thought it was a problem, she would have stopped it 6 years ago and with the child as well, because "you" are going to be the bad guy, because the child will know that the mom doesn't really care but is doing it to appease you.

Again, this is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of behavioral problems ahead with this child.

There are MANY many women out there that could use the help of a loving supportive man, to "assist" them in raising their children, not take over, but provide an alternative adult perspective. You deserve better. The child will eventually learn to be self sufficient on his own maybe in his 20s, or never at all, he will not learn it because "mom's boyfriend of a couple months" said so. Trust me, if you want a late 20s or early 30s woman single with a child, it's like shooting fish in a barrel, you don't need to "settle". It's not that you're an "amazing" man, it's that the rest of the men out there are that much worse. If she wasn't dating you, she's likely be spending her nights alone or dating some loser part time drug dealer part time mechanic who once wanted to be an artist, but is currently happy with being assistant manager at Applebee's for the rest of his life.
 

Khane

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Stop for a second and read what you're posting. This shit makes no fucking sense to anyone that actually uses their head.

From everything Beagle's said about the chick she is in no way incompetent and in need of a dude to tell her how to live her life.
Because her 9 year old son still sleeps with her in bed doesn't mean she and the kicked are fucked beyond belief. They've lived alone with just those two for how many years? It could just have been a bad habit that both have fallen into.
Well that's your opinion on the matter. I'm not saying my opinion is right, just that my view of that situation gives me bad memories and flashbacks of two of my previous relationships. Because of my past and my upbringing it is something I cannot get past. I grew up surrounded by extremely strong, independent women who would never allow something like that to happen and that has shaped my ideals when it comes to relationships. I'm not saying he is wrong, just saying "If you step back and reflect on that one thing, how does it make you feel about the prospect of the future?". This is the way I am and I am unapologetic about it. I can't change it, so I just don't date women that make me feel as though they need me to take care of them. I think you're also underplaying how much of an issue this really is.
 

TrollfaceDeux

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Lejina is 100% correct, this plan is just setting him up to be even more emotionally invested in this woman... Which I guess is ok, if you really just want to bash Beagle, but the reality is, for men of our age, you don't need to "settle" really, you don't. 75% kids in the u.s. Are being raised by single mothers, MOST of them are tired, overworked, and don't want to deal with shit on a daily basis., want to guess how many of them allow their 9 year old to sleep in bed with them every night? I used to stay up till 4 am playing video games at the age of 12, because my mom didn't limit it, she was going to bars and smoking weed, instead of being an active parent, she figured as long as I wasn't getting in trouble with the law, she must be doing something right, but she was wrong, and it wasn't until I was in my mid 20s that I learned how to temper "most" of my impulses to stay up late even when I know I shouldn't. And lifelong habits are tough to break. And when I went to live with my dad at the age if 13 after my mom lost custody it was an absolute nightmare for me because he was so "unreasonable" for wanting me to be awake and up by noon on the weekends. I'm not saying he did a better job of raising me, but at least he tried in his own misguided way.

The crux of the problem: she doesn't think she is doing harm to her child. She is only agreeing to this because it upsets you. This is going to create additional friction on your relationship with your girlfriend, because if she thought it was a problem, she would have stopped it 6 years ago and with the child as well, because "you" are going to be the bad guy, because the child will know that the mom doesn't really care but is doing it to appease you.

Again, this is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of behavioral problems ahead with this child.

There are MANY many women out there that could use the help of a loving supportive man, to "assist" them in raising their children, not take over, but provide an alternative adult perspective. You deserve better. The child will eventually learn to be self sufficient on his own maybe in his 20s, or never at all, he will not learn it because "mom's boyfriend of a couple months" said so. Trust me, if you want a late 20s or early 30s woman single with a child, it's like shooting fish in a barrel, you don't need to "settle". It's not that you're an "amazing" man, it's that the rest of the men out there are that much worse. If she wasn't dating you, she's likely be spending her nights alone or dating some loser part time drug dealer part time mechanic who once wanted to be an artist, but is currently happy with being assistant manager at Applebee's for the rest of his life.
Your childhood sounds like mine except I played til 11 and went to sleep.
 

Sutekh

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Well that's your opinion on the matter. I'm not saying my opinion is right, just that my view of that situation gives me bad memories and flashbacks of two of my previous relationships. Because of my past and my upbringing it is something I cannot get past. I grew up surrounded by extremely strong, independent women who would never allow something like that to happen and that has shaped my ideals when it comes to relationships. I'm not saying he is wrong, just saying "If you step back and reflect on that one thing, how does it make you feel about the prospect of the future?". This is the way I am and I am unapologetic about it. I can't change it, so I just don't date women that make me feel as though they need me to take care of them. I think you're also underplaying how much of an issue this really is.
Call me biased because I've had a similar experience to the one he's describing and everything worked out pretty well. It really isn't that big of a deal, little kids get into habits and they're hard to break, it will take a week or two but the kid will start to realize that he needs to sleep in his own bed. Like I said, she's not over there sucking the kid's dick every night or breast feeding him in bed.

What do you mean by "independent woman", I've known many "independent women" to bend to their children's will.
 

TheBeagle

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I'm not talking about relying on each other to get that sense of fulfillment that only comes from having a real partner. I'm talking about women who literally cannot take care of themselves on their own and be responsible adults making good decisions for the sake of themselves and their children without a man in the picture.
She's my age, college educated, and has a successful career as an interior designer making $70k a year. She gets home with the kid at 6 every night, cooks dinner, does homework, cleans the house and three time a week takes him to little league. This isn't some random loser bitch I drug up from the depths of POF.
 

toomanynames_sl

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Are you both married? I'm sure you've had failed relationships.

It's not BS that marriage is the hardest job you'll ever have, as I said, some folks just don't see it as work. I sure as hell don't see what I do in and for my relationship as work. You get what you put in or your fail. You put in = work, work is either fun or not, but work all the same. You'll also never have a job duration longer than marriage, well unless you're a failure at it.

If you enter marriage or a relationship looking for marriage without recognition of the "work" required, you will fail. If marriage was easy we wouldn't have a 60%+ or whatever it is divorce rate. Khane and Sut, your comments speak to this. You don't think it's work as many under 30's think (no clue to either of your ages), that it's easy, sorry, it's not.

Now if you've been married 30 years, put me in check please, but if you're some "have a girlfriend" "been with her for 3 years", well, sort a like suck a dick I guess LOL

Again as for Beagle, WTF would he care about 2-3 weeks? He's been hooked up with this chic for a while, no? I don't see 2-3 weeks of ones life, lost or not, as a big deal in regards to emo attachment.
 

Big Phoenix

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Ya this. There is no apathy on her part. I mean for fuck's sake, she works 40 hours a week, has to take care of the house, get homework done every night, cook dinner, do laundry, and still manages to take him to little league 3 days a week. All by herself. She's let the sleeping situation go on too long, but she's still a good mom that wants the best for her son. I can see that and I can see how exhausted she is at the end of the day and that she doesn't have the energy to fight with little Lord Fontleroy over sleepy time. Which is where I come in.

Either way, I'm going into this with my eyes wide open, and if shit doesn't work out then I move on with my life and go back to having meaningless hookups with trashy sluts on POF.
Lol youre supposed to do that shit when youre a parent.

Sorry bill but you need to run far, far away. This shit has been going on for 9 years, not a week or two. If she was gonna change she would of changed years ago.