The Snowman (2017)

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Homsar

Bronze Baronet of the Realm
8,436
7,284
Most movies dont ever come close, I am legend comes to mind right off the bat.

Pornos have a more believable story than most shit put out. Pretty sure my girlfried getting plowed by a doctor is more likely than Geostorm
 
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Gnomedolf

<Silver Donator>
15,796
99,179
Rotten Tomatoes has this at 10%. It’s not great, but I don’t think it’s 10% bad. Either way, I wouldn’t have seen this movie if I didn’t have Movie Pass.
 

Sumdain x

Trakanon Raider
1,549
483
holy shit was this movie terrible, about 5 people in the theater on Saturday evening. I went in to see this having not read this thread or any reviews so had a completely open mind and was excited for a crime thriller. I've never walked out of a movie but i came damn close to this one, it was similar to a train wreck i couldn't look away.

I dont even know where to start...

Not even using spoiler tags, if you go see this movie you deserve what you get.

- most of the first 30 minutes of the movie could have been removed
- they introduce characters that have zero to do with the plot, but at the same time seem to have something to do with the plot? JK Simmons character was obviously a bad dude working with the pimp, but then at some point he just stops showing up. his "partners" wife and his mistress was murdered by the snowman killer seems to be the only thread that tied him into the story. i guess he was supposed to be a red herring.
- the sidekick detective completely disappears for the last 20 minutes of the movie (i assumed she was dead) but then reappears in the last scene.
- val kilmers voice was dubbed which was glaringly obvious
- last 20 minutes were from a made for tv movie with horribly contrived dialogue which felt like it was just tacked on
- they introduced a character who was a twin, for the sole purpose of saying "i'm a twin" then never appearing again
- Harry was completely impervious to cold, sleeping outdoors during a blizzard, np, sleeping in a snowbank overnight, np
- the snowman went into harry's house dressed as a mold removal technician for no reason, mold removal technician who they explicitly introduced saw him and then was never seen again
- the pimp subplot could have been cut completely - i dont think the girl they introduced even said any lines except for looking uncomfortable with JK simmons character
- "over the top Norwegian caricature"
- the letter from the snowman to harry made no sense to the timeline it was sent to him, had it been sent later in the movie it would have worked - editing problem?

Did anyone read the book? was it better? this was easily the worst movies i've watched in the last 5 years and takes the cake from Jupiter ascending.
 
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Springbok

Karen
<Gold Donor>
8,970
12,472
Ya the book was decent - not amazing, but easily readable and often filled with good suspense. Everything you just typed makes sense to me as a book reader, but from what I gather NONE of the major plot points are fleshed out. Shame, this looked decent and if they adapted direct from the book it could/should have been a good flick.
 

Leadsalad

Cis-XYite-Nationalist
5,946
11,881
Jupiter Ascending was just idiotic and none of the characters made any rational decisions. But I don't think the story itself was convoluted or unfollowable. It was just a complete waste of an attempt at world building.

This sounds like a editing room floor dice roll of clips.
 
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Royal

Connoisseur of Exotic Pictures
15,077
10,641
How the fuck do you forget to make10-15% of your movie?!

It's even more mystifying when you consider that there is a person on set whose job it is to make sure that everything in the script gets shot so it's not something that is supposed to even be able to fall through the cracks because the director's attentions are so divided.
 
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Ridas

Pay to play forum
2,865
4,109
holy shit was this movie terrible, about 5 people in the theater on Saturday evening. I went in to see this having not read this thread or any reviews so had a completely open mind and was excited for a crime thriller. I've never walked out of a movie but i came damn close to this one, it was similar to a train wreck i couldn't look away.

I dont even know where to start...

Not even using spoiler tags, if you go see this movie you deserve what you get.

- most of the first 30 minutes of the movie could have been removed
- they introduce characters that have zero to do with the plot, but at the same time seem to have something to do with the plot? JK Simmons character was obviously a bad dude working with the pimp, but then at some point he just stops showing up. his "partners" wife and his mistress was murdered by the snowman killer seems to be the only thread that tied him into the story. i guess he was supposed to be a red herring.
- the sidekick detective completely disappears for the last 20 minutes of the movie (i assumed she was dead) but then reappears in the last scene.
- val kilmers voice was dubbed which was glaringly obvious
- last 20 minutes were from a made for tv movie with horribly contrived dialogue which felt like it was just tacked on
- they introduced a character who was a twin, for the sole purpose of saying "i'm a twin" then never appearing again
- Harry was completely impervious to cold, sleeping outdoors during a blizzard, np, sleeping in a snowbank overnight, np
- the snowman went into harry's house dressed as a mold removal technician for no reason, mold removal technician who they explicitly introduced saw him and then was never seen again
- the pimp subplot could have been cut completely - i dont think the girl they introduced even said any lines except for looking uncomfortable with JK simmons character
- "over the top Norwegian caricature"
- the letter from the snowman to harry made no sense to the timeline it was sent to him, had it been sent later in the movie it would have worked - editing problem?

Did anyone read the book? was it better? this was easily the worst movies i've watched in the last 5 years and takes the cake from Jupiter ascending.
Was there a scene with a giant snowman in a bedroom with a woman on top in the movie? That scene was so over the top in the book I still facepalm when I think about it.
 
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Sumdain x

Trakanon Raider
1,549
483
I don't think so, closest we got was a snowman with a woman's head on top.
 
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jayrebb

Naxxramas 1.0 Raider
13,856
13,724
hahahaha. glad to see confirmation. i was legit baffled about why so many people in this thread thought it looked like a great movie.

The cast. Kilmer beating health problems. Fassbender. Becky Hall gives you that extra twinge of nostalgia, harkens back to when Scarlett Johanssen was in her super prime and they were both red hot items. *inhales sharply*

Yes, I projected success on this movie prematurely-- I admit it.
 

Nuttin

Silver Squire
28
15
I am not surprised, I am still quite perplexed that of all books in the series about Harry Hole, they made a film based on the 7th book, which is quite retarded.

The Snowman as a book wasnt as good as the previous ones either, I also do feel that they should have used other actors.