The Girls Who Broke Your Heart Thread

Springbok

Karen
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Never seen How I Met Your Mother, but its a legit tactic.

For Christmas gifts, I'd recommend a pair of underpants one size too small or a bra two sizes too big. Always a good idea to keep women on their toes.
 

Kenadul

Golden Knight of the Realm
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Another thing is I fucked another girl at the gym that she hangs out with.

I'm not sure how many girls i'm aloud to fuck there before I get in trouble. And they talk to each other.
You're aloud to fuck them all, it's only gonna help you man.

I tried to hit that shit but I could no longer get it up. I never knew about the finger test at that time being a noob and all. So we tried and tried, but I just could not do it. I stuck my limp dick into her a few times but it just did not work.
Haha I've fucked girls with stank pussy a few times but I always get a condom even if I was planning to raw dog em. I feel like some bacteria or some shit is gonna go up in there.
 

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
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It was better on How I Met Your Mother...

Just wondering something on Christmas presents for ladies. I fucking hate presents and sentimental shit, because I am the least sentimental person in the world. It's just not how I operate. So naturally Christmas is coming up, and I've been dating this girl for a month now. I'm assuming she's now my girlfriend, but that conversation hasn't been had at all. We've stayed completely away from any "relationship" type talk. Just the way she acts with me etc leads me to believe we are a couple now, but I really don't know at this point. If asked by her or anyone else, my plan is outward confusion.

So either way, I'm pretty sure I'm obligated to get her a present for Christmas. I know that her and her friend that introduced us were talking about her getting a hair color done at a salon across the street from me. Is a gift certificate there a decent present? Gift certificates, in my opinion, are shit gifts in general. But this is a nice, easy one for me. And I'll likely have to get spend $100-200, so it's not a cheap gift. Opinions?
Yeah that is a good idea. It'd be nice if you could get the gift certificate to say "One hair service with coloring" or some shit instead of the dollar amount. I'm assuming you've placed your canadian cock inside of her, of course. Otherwise she gets a pack of M&Ms.
 

Aychamo BanBan

<Banned>
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Never seen How I Met Your Mother, but its a legit tactic.

For Christmas gifts, I'd recommend a pair of underpants one size too small or a bra two sizes too big. Always a good idea to keep women on their toes.
Yeah, that was how I finally got laid for the first time. This ugly (but not fat!) bitch I knew liked me came over to my apt, without being invited. So she was watching TV and I was legitimately getting ready for something, so I went to take a shower, and came out naked and just pulled her to the bedroom. I probably lasted 3 pumps.
 

Kirun

Buzzfeed Editor
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It was better on How I Met Your Mother...

Just wondering something on Christmas presents for ladies. I fucking hate presents and sentimental shit, because I am the least sentimental person in the world. It's just not how I operate. So naturally Christmas is coming up, and I've been dating this girl for a month now. I'm assuming she's now my girlfriend, but that conversation hasn't been had at all. We've stayed completely away from any "relationship" type talk. Just the way she acts with me etc leads me to believe we are a couple now, but I really don't know at this point. If asked by her or anyone else, my plan is outward confusion.

So either way, I'm pretty sure I'm obligated to get her a present for Christmas. I know that her and her friend that introduced us were talking about her getting a hair color done at a salon across the street from me. Is a gift certificate there a decent present? Gift certificates, in my opinion, are shit gifts in general. But this is a nice, easy one for me. And I'll likely have to get spend $100-200, so it's not a cheap gift. Opinions?
Bitches knowexactlyhow much shit like that costs, so there is no hiding it. And after "dating" for only a month, a 100-200$ gift seems a bit extensive. Then again, I'm not fucking hanging out with Richie Rich and his cronies either. Maybe that kind of shit flies in richpeopleistan.
 

Grumpus

Molten Core Raider
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So I got the chic from the gym a gift, if she gives me mine ill pull it out and see what happens.

I don't know a ton about her, but I know she likes horses and energy drinks heh. So I got her a little plastic horse toy, a unicorn puzzle (I got her addicted to Robot Unicorn Attack when she was trying to finish up school stuff before the break) 2 rock star energy drinks, and a Day planner with a horse on it. I'm going to fill in every day with "Gym". Put it all in a gift bag.

Thought that might be light enough to work.
 

Famm

Ahn'Qiraj Raider
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Bitches knowexactlyhow much shit like that costs, so there is no hiding it. And after "dating" for only a month, a 100-200$ gift seems a bit extensive. Then again, I'm not fucking hanging out with Richie Rich and his cronies either. Maybe that kind of shit flies in richpeopleistan.
So get her a $50-75 gift card if that seems too much, but after one month I don't think you want to go crazy with the type of gift so a card is better than nothing but doesn't make you look like you're coming on too strong like jewelry or something sentimental would.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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Grumpus, that seems excessive.
Eomer, that seems excessive.

WTF here. For my next girlfriend, I'm going to build a giant wall in the shape of a heart, take her to space and show her.

Tone it down. Grumpus, how about 1 thing? Eomer, $100+ is excessive. You gotta stop throwing your money at chicks.
 

Grumpus

Molten Core Raider
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I work at the place I bought the stuff, it was like 10$. It looks cheap to, its more of a joke then anything.
 

Awlbiste_sl

shitlord
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0
Grumpus, your mustache is sexy as hell, but that gift is awful. Eomer, a hair coloring gift certificate seems nice, but that's pretty impersonal. At least fake being sentimental, a little bit.

I'm actually 100% in agreement with Dabamf here.
 

Awlbiste_sl

shitlord
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Well, mission accomplished? If you're aiming for awful then you definitely hit it right on the nose. Is she the kind of person that would really appreciate a horrible gift, or would she be secretly disappointed? If she'd really appreciate it, right on.
 
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Chicks really love 'the thought that counts" and "I saw it and thought of you" gifts. I have closed the deal with stuff from the marked down bin at a 7-11. It's about totems of sentimentality to them. One chick I dated saved an origami ring I made out foil from a pack of cigarettes on our first date, returned it to me when we broke up a year later. You guys need to up your sentimentality game.
 

Loser Araysar

Chief Russia Reporter. Stock Pals CEO. Head of AI.
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Chicks really love 'the thought that counts" and "I saw it and thought of you" gifts. I have closed the deal with stuff from the marked down bin at a 7-11. It's about totems of sentimentality to them. One chick I dated saved an origami ring I made out foil from a pack on cigarettes on out first date, returned it to me when we broke up a year later. You guys need to up your sentimentality game.
LOL, crazy.
 

TrollfaceDeux

Pronouns: zie/zhem/zer
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Chicks really love 'the thought that counts" and "I saw it and thought of you" gifts. I have closed the deal with stuff from the marked down bin at a 7-11. It's about totems of sentimentality to them. One chick I dated saved an origami ring I made out foil from a pack of cigarettes on out first date, returned it to me when we broke up a year later. You guys need to up your sentimentality game.
oh jesus. you win.
 

Dabamf_sl

shitlord
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I can't get crazy girls. They don't like me. I got a crazy korean chick once, that's the one exception. My gf and I, when still together, made fun of her cuz she was crazy. When we broke up, I hit up the crazy girl cuz I knew she liked me. I'm not sure if my ex ever found out. Maybe she did and that's why she hates me. She would have seen it as the most colossal betrayal ever. Anyway, crazy girl ended up semi stalking me for about a month after I told her we aren't gonna hang out anymore. She was 19, I was...26? I think. I got a serious talkin to from my buddy's wife that it's not right messing around with a 19 year old (lol hi brad), and she was right, so I broke it off. But she really wasn't that bad. 1 drunken "I'm coming over." "No, I'm going to sleep." "Well I'm already here" night, a bunch of harassing me on skype, that's it. But I fucking hated her and every day regretted sleeping with her, which was terrible sex anyway because she was a dead fish. If I ever got a really crazy one that for real stalked me and whatnot, I'd probably murder her. I can't take any interference in my life.

Oh and P.S. This girl (like many crasians) had a serious overgrowth problem in the nether regions. I told her one day she should trim it, but she had never done so. So I sat her up on my washing machine, got my scissors, and with her spread-eagle, gave her a little weed wacking. She texts me the next day "wow this feels so much better, I can't believe I never did this before."

God dammit I'm going back to korea
 
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@ Dabamf yeah dating the crazy is walking a razors edge. All women are nutz, but you gotta know how far down the path toward bunny-boiler you can safely travel.

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