Soak it in Cinnamilk and banana mush. Then make sure you shower with a special showerhead and juice cleanse. You'll likely be virtually immortal at that point.
First part is largely true. 2nd part is crazy. 80 percent means he'd be like 7th or something and he's not that good. He's pretty good but he's not at that level.
Merfolk has my vote for best intro deck into Legacy since the expensive cards in the deck are good in many decks for the format (Wasteland and Force of Will).