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Be sure to get something appropriately sized.

No, that's totally not cool. It's not ethical. It's not professional. Run the fuck away from this therapist.

I'm going to be building a new pantry, double doors. Do you guys think two hanging doors like that, one in front of the other, would work?

Yes. This is an exact equivalent. Very astute.

Late morning wood explained: Coffee recalled for Viagra-like ingredient - CNN.com

Dude, we had a cat for 17 years, I was the one who had to take him in to get put down. I'm not ashamed to say I cried like a fucking baby. This wasn't a normal cat, it was more like a dog. This cat was part of the family. I feel your pain, man. That fucking sucks. I'm going to drink some...

My children. Spending too much time together after being up too late. Everyone in the house is rustled right now.

Does anyone want to buy five children? Today sucked the west end of an east-bound horse. We were all up late last night, and everyone seemed to wake up early today, and they were all so bloody grumpy. They were pissy to me and my wife, and they were totally intolerant of each other. It's 10:18...

I think a new title of "The Fast/Junk Food Thread" would be a good idea. That in no way includes hipster groceries. Shall I suggest the change in the amod thread?

You can demand they never do estimates. I had to do that. They estimated more than double the usage for a couple months, it was bonkers. Now I have a guaranteed reading every month, and I'm only charged for actual usage. But, yeah, once the actual reading was done, they should have adjusted for...

One of my oldest fell out of a tree on to her head. Probably 6 feet, she was 11. Did the whole ER thing, she had a concussion, and she was stiff as crazy for a few days, but here we are 5 years later, no lasting effects. But holy crap is it a scary thing rushing your kid to an ER, and it is so...

Can you post your recipe for the dry ribs?

You can say this about every dish, man.

Masturbation in a cooking thread is totally not cool. I was making no euphemism, I was talking about pulling the bone out of finely cooked meat. Y'all are animals.

No.

Anyone can with a ssn.

Damn you. I spit out my drink, and it's expensive.

Every time we decided we wanted another kid we didn't spend any time trying. We just stopped trying not to, and were pregnant within a week. Fucking bonkers.

Dude, that looks so delicious, I'm thinking of pulling the bone, too.

Dad jokes.

Did you know that Amazon sells fake plastic dog poop? I've now ordered some for my son. Shit's gonna be hilarious.

So he's truly your son.

Man. Babies, rectums, poop, and so forth. Parents have to do weird stuff. We're the most evolved form of life, right? Why can't our young walk and poop in a litter box when born? It's interesting to remember this stuff now that my kids are older. If I talk to my teenage girls about poop or...

Making a huge steak and fresh fries dinner with the kids, wife was pissed she's going to miss it. Last night she ate at the fucking Momofuku Noodle Bar. She can suck it. There's going to be hangry sex when she gets home tomorrow. That might make up for the rustle.

I have a coffee roasting station in one of my outbuildings. Of course I HAVE to be with the coffee while it roasts. It has nothing to do with the fact that it gives me roughly 20 minutes completely to myself. I love my kids, but a break every now and then is welcome.

My wife is in New York city and eating at Michelin star restaurants and I'm home with the kids eating pizza. So rustled.

You have to start sucking her dick, I believe.

Yeah, garlic too. Forgot to list it.

All of the income from my wife and me gets dumped in to one account. Then, there are automatic withdrawals to accounts for me and her and the kids (see earlier when I talked about allowances). The money that goes to separate accounts for wifey and me is small, $200 a month, and it is intended to...

That exhaust is bloody ridiculous.

Oh, has he stopped? I can take him off ignore?

Damn. I wanna date him. He'd get lucky on the first date.

I have one with basil and lime, and one with basil and cucumber. Will probably try both. My wife and daughters are wild for all things cucumber flavoured, they even like the cucumber gatorade. The men in the family have a finer palate.

That has been my issue every year, so this year I made space for 25 basil plants. Whatever is left at the end of the season will make pesto. So far, it's keeping up with demand. I also just saw a recipe for basil sorbet. I'm dubious, but might try it.

Today I had breakfast at McDonalds. Steak and egg bagle. It's a tasty thing.