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It"s two grand for a DNA test in this state. I"m workin" on it.

Amadeus, you seem angry. You should talk to someone. I"ll try my hand as a counselor. Lie down on the couch. Tell me about your mother. ... Describe her to me. Is she hot? Single? Wait... How old are you? Tell me, Amadeus, do you like baseball?

I once dated this short woman named Shelly... PSYCH! lol Couldn"t resist. Seriously though, Ashley and I broke up three years ago, and to this day I occasionally wake up dry sobbing from dreams about her. We were only together six months. I have no idea how she made such a huge impact.

Ugh. She"s still down voting everything I post on Reddit, and today I tried to check my voice mail and found that the pass code was magically changed. I"m going down to MetroPCS tomorrow to find out who did that, and then I"m taking that information straight to the police.

<3 you guys. Thanks, Ravenn. I likely won"t be dating for a while, and it"s not just due to confidence issues. There"s a lot to be done. This Friday, five adorable solid white red nose pitt bull puppies become eligible for sale, and once I"m no longer playing nanny to these guys, life will be...

I"ll give that to ya. To convert from American to European scales, we"d have to allow 1-20 scale in the conversion. Same goes for California, though it"s part of the US. To rate Japanese girls you"d need a scale from 0i + 1 to 10i + 10. Understandable man.

No prob, dude. But I would love to see some examples of 10"s from folks who say my 6 is their 3. It would be great if they posted some real life 10"s, and not airbrushed / photoshopped magazine 10"s. My scale would be different if I based it on all the women I"ve seen. Here"s a10. But, real...

Pheonix: That"s just how I am. What have I got to hide? Yeah, I hooked up with an ugly troll woman, but I"m a nice enough guy to see past looks and bullshit right to the good of a person. And I stuck around as she made my life hell, but I"m a good enough guy to give shit a chance to get better...

Sorry, just saw this. Rebecca drove all the way to Louisiana from West Virginia just to fuck me after we talked a bit over the phone. I figured that drive deserved something.

?_? Shaddup man lol HateMonkey: I"m still in touch with Jessica, so that"s a no-go. I"m not sure how she"d feel about it. Ashley: http://i.imgur.com/0Ch4F.jpg No better pic is available for Ashley. Fabiana: http://i.imgur.com/oIU2a.jpg I"m actually a little surprised that...

Mary is my ex from years ago when I first started posting here. I know a pic from our wedding made its way to this forum. But it"s not a fair reference in a way because I"m rating based on when we first got together and the pic on here is from after she had a kid.

You know, I"ve actually avoided doing this my whole life. I"ll probably have to relog after I type this. (-10,10] Rating scale, based on outward physical appearance only. Okay, going backwards chronologically, in order of the first time with them, with an asterisk by the ones you"ve seen and...

Yeah, and she"s doing better. She"s post sooner if I took her my charger, buuuuut... fuck that. She"ll have her laptop sooner or later.

No prob man. I expect a certain amount of shit from folks anyway when I put my life on public display like this. It"s not attention-whoring either, as someone commented about. It"s just the culmination of dealing with her making me look like Rosemary"s Baby grown to as many people as she can...

After this, I may actually need an AXE...detailer.

This is the obvious solution. I guess the only reason that I"m not saying yet that this is what I must do (though it"s obvious) is that I"m waiting to see if, when she sees this thread, she has an epiphany of sanity. Maybe, by some miracle she will realize the bumbling idiocy of her attitudes...

Myspace / Facebook for people with the vocabularies of twelve year olds, but more annoying and with more ads and spam. Oh yeah, and it"s designed to be accessible from dollar store prepaid phones.

It won"t last. She"ll be here tomorrow, will follow me around the internet, and I"ll be hearing from her otherwise, guaranteed. Froofy-D: I drink coffee only when there"s lots to do. I try to eat a balanced diet. She eats almost nothing but meat.

I just got this voicemail. Yep.Ihavetotallystoppedherfromspeaking. And I obviously have "talked shit" so much. I will be hearing from her again, and she"ll be spreading filth about me and stalking me all over the internet (sigh) again. I"m getting close to getting a restraining order. Good...

How do I upvote here? lol (I know, internets, but just saying)

I walk/jog everywhere I go, have suffered intense loneliness as a result mostly of insecurity, and the rest of this post will likely explain the rest. So far as mental/emotional disorders go, in the framework of my day to day life I have undergone enough treatment to hold it together better than...

If I"m going to put myself out there like this, then I might as well do it right. Edit: She"s allergic to latex and lube (so rubber is out), and as explained before, there was a misunderstanding with her doc who said, "She can not get pregnant," when he meant, "She must not get pregnant." She...

So it"s 62.5%. That was my first guess, but a specialist she is seeing during this pregnancy told me that they sum since they"re unrelated. This means that the statistics for a healthy baby are 75% of the 50% where WMS does not happen, 37.5%, which sums with 62.5% for 100% thus proving it right...

healthy, autism, autism+WMS, WMS 75% of which include a genetic disorder. So, where did I go wrong? Both methods give the same result. edit: Fuck it, I"m going to find my statistics textbook. Final edit: Yes, I had it right. The child has a 50% chance of having WMS and a 25% chance of...

Deserved. Sorry man. Turns out Circle-K wasn"t over charging me when she went out to grab smokes for us. Although they did pay me back that one time, she was out smoking meth. I found out right about the time I noticed large amounts of money missing without explanation (one of her friends...

Because she"d be telling the truth lol But your first paragraph is right.

The level of ignorance regarding social security worries me, considering that most of your retirements depend upon it and God-forbid you get in an accident. SSA is paid out of money that the recipient has paid into the system. Understand what this means. I am living off ofmy money, not yours...

Verified by neuropsychological evaluation, along with verbal and performance IQ. I don"t have retardation as an excuse. That would be understandable. I just went through so much shit that I have too much sympathy for people who go through shit. To put it in Carlos Mencia"s words, there"s people...

No, I just borrow your mom"s from time to time. Giggity!

I just read Aamina"s posts in The Married Guy Thread, and really those seem to be run of the mill relationship issues years into (unfortunately) many marriages these days. I should be the last person to give advice, but it"s always easier to see other folks" problems than your own. Aamina...

That was a joke. When I see links in /r/relationship_advice, I always think they"d be funnier than hell in shittyadvice, and one day I saw a link that said, "Reddit, how can I tell if my wife is a lesbian?" I couldn"t resist. Shelly followed up with that post. Also, I"ve decided to get a...

I did I could go to court for custody. Just with the evidence on my computer and in my Google Talk transcripts, I would likely win. Add in multiple witnesses who actually saw and heard these things, not on just one day while she was moving out but for eleven months straight... I would win...

I accidentally a pregnant. Her doc doesn"t English too good, and come to find out that when I asked about birth control and he said, "She can not get pregnant," what he meant was, "She must not get pregnant." I found this out yesterday from his own mouth, which explains why, back when this...

26 gnomes just appeared from nowhere, announced, "I"m waaaad" and stabbed me to death.

Just gettin" up. Can"t something be trolling and be real at the same time? What if it"s real, but you know what the results will be? lol, she knew I was posting those, and she does have MUCH more flattering pics. She knew what was coming, and decided to enhance it by picking those. Yep, she"s...

We"re going to go talk to a buddy"s dad today. He"s a preacher, and we can save some change having him do the ceremony. Plus, he"s a friend. He"s also the father of the same friend who set himself on fire in the presence of a fireman, and only got laughed at. Hadn"t thought of doing that...

ROFLMAO That would be legendary, and disturbing.

Okay, now that I"ve attacked a couple chicken breasts and had a smoke... She"s a sweetheart whose beliefs and values match mine. Yeah, it would be cool if the supermodel-hawt women were also the ones I could stand being around every day without wanting to hang myself with my own tongue, but...

Maybe a little of both. But nah, I"ve posted here long enough to know how it goes. edit: Getting breakfast while I lol at myself and replies.

Just waking up. Shit, I was smashed last night. Nah, I"m not 90 lbs soaking wet, about 130. And yeah, I know what happens when you post real life pics. Hell, I"ve reminded other people before. Just glad folks are having fun in this thread. Damn I was smashed. I drink about once or twice in...