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Pretty much never leave the house without my BURT'S BEES. That shouldn't be a problem.

Yeah, she was content on driving the entire way but I told her we could just meet half-way for the weekend.

I already bought the hotel and shit, I'm going to do it. It's worth the chance of death. That doesn't make me any less worried. ?\(?_o)/? This year has taught me that good things do not happen to me, so this ordeal actually being something beneficial is a foreign concept.

Nervous she's actually an assassin that's been hired to kill me. The least of what I'm worried about is sex bro.

Was running around my neighborhood down to this trail that's like 1/3 mile from my house and this lady was walking her dog sans leash. Dog sprints over to me with it's teeth snarling and ready to bite, I kicked that dog so fucking hard in the head it spun like 4 times in the air. Dog ran back to...

Time for okafur to find a new profession. He just got fucking stiff armed by a qb.

He's done it many times before.

Wow

Missed PI

How disappointing that the cardinals are waiting anxiously for drew fucking stanton to get healthy. God damnit palmer why are you made of paper.

Lynch is a moron. Stomach ache. Eats skittles.

How do you fucking drop that.

Yeah I saw it, not too upset though, if we couldn't get Harbaugh I didn't want anyone else.

Cowboys will win the Superbowl. You heard it here first.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt wake was going to get that sack. He was destroying that dude all game.

Hahah this fucking game.

If any team needs moved to LA its the dolphins. No fan base no hope too many teams in Florida. Just let it go.

I give up.

Ryan fucking Tannehill. 313 yards 3 TD 1int 70% completion.

Yeah if they had AP he'd be beating the dolphins like a little black kid.

Good bye philbin. Good bye Coyle. Good bye Dolphins

Wow you guys are gay, there's no point in drinking in OJ without pulp.

Desperate House Wives of Orange County.

Age bro, on a looks scale I'm easily a 9.

all those hits to the head turning him into a moron?

Yup, Cincinnati basically going to get crushed this week though. Pitt or Raven will take the division.

That's game boys.

This game ... golly.

This game ...

This game is so fucking clowny.

The come back is real boys.

Yeah that was me. That was definitely me haha.

Wow is it rough having Kaleb Joseph play point. That was a great game in the first half and then the team just fell apart. With no leadership anywhere in sight on the team I'm seriously worried about the rest of the season. 6-4. Fuck me, I can't remember the last time we were this bad.

I'm glad the many places I've lived have not been a part of the dog epidemic.

Her and I are still extremely close, she's my best friend by a mile so feel free to joke all you'd like as it does not bother me! And yes I learned the hard way she does not tolerate mediocrity.

Maybe you shouldn't have been such a shit resto druid. She doesn't take well to mediocrity.

Yeah it was a little much, especially since I'm not exactly a small dude. If I had punched her as hard as she wanted I could have really hurt her.

I wish it were Millie, at least she would've been gentle with me.

I turned down anal with the last chick I was with. It's not that great. She was into hitting and stuff during sex too, that was a little strange for me. She wanted me to punch her in the face and shit. We agreed it should be limited to slapping. Not my ex-wife for anyone wondering (since...

Correction submitted.