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And how do you know you can't do the same thing with these dumbasses? Have you tried mashing one in and distilling it?

You think rusty bagged that? I could believe he collected a sample from her while she was passed out and started cloning sons. Edit: LOL "Now in Glorious Extra Color" Is that a gay pride nod or just a regular joke about old movies that were in technicolor?

You're not wrong, but when people say it in real life at real funerals, you gotta wonder. That's not exactly the right time to be joking around.

That drum looks like he can't believe you caught him on ultralight gear. You can see it in his eye. Please no, don't post that pic on the internet. My bros may see it!

I haven't been paying attention. Where did the Brady Retirement wheel finally land? Retired or not?

ATM Machine RIP in peace I would respond to that one with "Oh you mean me Estimated ETA of ARRIVAL?" And don't answer until they confirm. "Well, I'm averaging 55 miles per MPH and the GPS system says I have 15 minutes to go. So you do the math. What's 55 divided by 15?"

I liked it too. I was a bit disappointed when they did the soaking thing. If that had been me, I would have been like "Of course I know about soaking. Mormon or Amish? Sit down noah, lets talk about the poophole loophole" I wonder what they were going to do if the dude agreed to go jump on...

I found the series on MAX and decided to make sure I was caught up as prep for the new season. I was 2 seasons back reading the descriptions going "None of this is ringing a bell"

You must be mistaken sir. Jackie Daytona was not a vampire. I believe he was just a regular human bartender. Proof:

the screaming when she turns into the bat thing still fucking kills me.

Still no sign of the second best vampire ever? (Next to Colin)

carry it on and put it under the seat. yes.

Bro, go to wal mart right now and get a cheap TV, then swap it with the one at the hotel.

Reminds me of a mexican place I went to over the weekend. They had cajun crawfish enchiladas on the menu. My first thought was "What the fuck? Never order seafood from a mexican place, especially not cajun food". But they turned out to be pretty good.

Sure sure. It'll get you all the way to the scene of the accident. Quick too. I bet you'll get there at least 30 minutes before the paramedics show up.

Lucky for you, folering your food is always an option.

Then soon after you have more steel. Or aluminum if that's what your rims are made of.

That tire so bald, maybe it's not nails at all, but the steel belts wearing through the last layer of rubber.

Says the loser who doesn't eat century eggs.

I didn't realize there was a competition for "worst way to prepare an egg". Did this win, or was it just the runner up? This comes from people who think fish eyeballs are a delicacy.

wat da fuk is a ramen egg? I assumed it was a typo at first, but you keep typoing it the same way.

Do we have a scottish FOH'er? Pretty sure we're all american so the scottish and fung shway meanings don't count. The 3 brits don't count as scottish either.

Red doors mean your house is open to visitors. Hobos, escaped slaves, and basically anyone passing through can stop in for a visit and a meal. So I agree with Sanrith. White doors; cause fuck strangers. My current door is stained wood. I'm going to paint it white when I get home just in...

I don't think that's the kind of eating disorder barbie has.

OK OK, I got it he faked his death to get away from the cartels he screwed over. I'm only playing along because I know this is a stage of grief.

You son of a bitch, I'm out. Don't want no goddamn tranny waitresses spitting in my drink because I didn't tip them $1000.

Holy shit, there's a hustler casino? As in Larry Flint's hustler? yousonofabitchimin.jpg

People think Texas is "the south", but it's really not. So I guess I grew up in the west.

They do things way different there. I've got a number and can join the group that handles our county anytime I want. I just don't have the time to commit to it. We just had another call out to help tomorrow but I can't make it. Most of the time they do not need help to search, but when it's...

No. Wanna know why? Because unless playboy and hustler are sexual health mags, I've never seen one. Why are you reading that garbage?

That movie is the reason I know terms like spear chucker and jungle bunny.

When i did it, the only training I had was CERT. Which is basically no training at all when it comes to searching. I think in CERT they taught us to fan out and stay within sight of each other, and that's about it. We did not work with the dogs though. We had our own areas and called in the...

The endgame purpose is to procreate. In the short term it's to make small talk and see if you can catch a nut off the person. It's called an ice breaker. and the only correct answer is "I like both kinds of music. Country AND Western"

I assume that's the dude who trademarked all the other possible names? LOL. Legendary, even if he is a redskins fan.

You don't even have to press play. Just the still image screams faggot. I was interested for a hot minute when I thought it was John McAfee back from the dead.

It's a hostile, sexist work environment. They're saying you're cute when you smile. Smile more for the women in charge and I'm sure you'll get promotions and raises.

I worked with one of those search teams BrotherWu mentioned once. I volunteered to spend a saturday beating the brush through a national forest. I learned a few things. 1. There are cadaver dogs, live find dogs, and a third kind that I can't remember right now. The dogs cannot be cross...

I need a further breakdown on that 3% to see how many think they know what it is, but are wrong. Lotta people think it represents a crying emoticon.

Wow, x files seems older than 30.