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I am fully erect. Is this house still for sale?

I looked it up for myself. Doing what's necessary to prevent harm to a human is a defense to prosecution rather than an exception to the various laws. This is separate from defending livestock or defending yourself from a person harming you because those are spelled out specifically in law...

You're right. It's not important at all to accurately describe a problem. All that matters is that we do something that makes us feel better. This works in all aspects of life BTW, not just when you want to murder family pets who have done nothing wrong.

The fuck? Did you mean to say after the attack is done and everyone is safe? Cause that might be correct. But you damn sure can kill any animal or person who is attacking you or your children while the attack is in progress. Well OK, maybe if it's a kid who's not reasonably capable of...

LOL no. It's a very effective place to hit someone.

Bro, you got a detachable shower head and aiming it at your feet is tickling your pickle?

Disappointed there was no nose joke in there. but lurkingdick had you covered.

If they are outside, then something is probably eating the dead rats. I would dump my dead rats outside by the end of the driveway and they were gone without a trace in no time. If I get another one I'm going to put a camera on it to see what's getting them. I had a pest control company...

lol both seats. You must have one of those extra thick ADA seats on your rig.

I've been dealing with them too in my garage. 2 in one trap is impressive. I didn't know pack rats were a real species. Mine are brown rats I think. The last 2 I caught had run off about 10 feet with the trap and died under shelves. One was a black trap similar to yours, the other was one...

I hope in this case gun means penis. Otherwise that was a completely unreasonable response.

One day the dude in the car in front of me was vaping something that smelled like brisket. I initially thought he was smoking meat in his cab. If I ever start vaping I already know what flavor i want. I wonder if I can just get that as an incense.

Not unless you have a way to shoot invaders with a sticker. Is that kiddiefucker sam's rig?

Where the fuck are the rifle racks?

Maybe it's because I never watched orange and I don't remember her from wick. There could be a little bit of disappointment there due to higher expectations. Was she a lesbo in orange and/or wick?

Not this 'knees too sharp' shit again. Is it a day that ends in 'y' already?

You're in season 1. Andy gets better.

Why not? She's hot. Who cares that she doesn't like dick, it's not like we ever had a shot. Plus it'll mean there's 100% chance she'll be kissing other hot chicks a lot. Short hair looks terrible but it's easy to look past it for someone that pretty. What was wrong with the video? I...

Possibly the best thing any of them will do. At least Aubrey has that fappening video that competes well. Oh wait. I guess chris pratt has gone on to better things.

HAHAHAHAHAHA You said it once, got little response, then shoehorned it into another post. I can only assume this is the attention you craved. I was just trying to help a brother out. Didn't realize I was dealing with a sister. Go ahead with your bullshit, I'm accustomed to dealing with...

If they are your favorite, these guys are doing you a favor shutting it down. I wouldn't even say whataburger has been good for 10 years. Not since they cut out most of the available toppings. Fucking autoincorrect.

Bro just because you get offended doesn't mean anyone is trolling. Im taking this derail much more seriously than it deserves. It's the fact that you have to keep telling us that makes it sound like you're trying to convince yourself.

It's coming off as a mealy mouthed excuse because you don't have the courage to just say no. Worrying about a piss test is as bad as people who quote reefer madness as their reason to be clean. In truth I was doing you a favor by making sure you knew there were ways to get clean because your...

You keep saying that as if there's not ways to get your piss clean within an hour. Takes a few days to get your hair clean. How are they testing you? The only people I ever knew to get hair tests got advance warning. The one pothead was able to stall for a week without raising suspicion...

Aww man. i was hoping it would be the wheelchair dude.

Sounds like it's a pre-employment test.

Ok. It's been like 30 years since I had a fish that ate flakes. Forgot all about that.

I think my favorite part was when the new girl turned into the batlike thing. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!

I do not. OK I guess I just don't understand the fish comment. Was it even to me? Seemed like it was and I just wanted to help make sure your quip landed.

Remember, I'm a dumb. Walk me through this particular ice burn please.

What about salt flakes? My wife had some at some fancy restaurant and told me they were the best form of salt. We bought some for the house and I'm unimpressed.

Went to the bathroom for my morning shit and realized I left my phone in the truck. But I'm fucking crowning, and there's no way I can go get it. No magazines in the bathroom either. So I have to shit like a caveman this morning with nothing to entertain me.

Slap on the wrist. At least this time the kid didn't get her caught cause of his big mouth. Mom and dad snooped on him. And the friend who was lookout ... he could have spilled the beans too but he knew to keep his trap shut. The youth of today aren't a lost cause.

Yeah. I wish they'd given him more.

Hey you're not amod. Your anadmin. Stay in your lane bro.

Wife keeps wanting to blow me in the shower. I prefer she blows me in bed where I can lay down and she can tickle my feet. But she likes the shower better where she can more easily play with my butthole.

@Johnny53 we need an update. Last update was that he was faithful to his wife and they were living happily ever after.

I just can't hate football coaches anymore. No matter how bad they are or what they do, I compare them to buddy ryan and realize they're not THAT bad.

@splorge What's the red one?

it's still there in screenshots, just buried from disuse. Dig it up and use it so you can post those pics i know you have. I think J49 might have ruined it for the rest of us. That's where his epic story of saving meth whores with his magic machine gun dick got started.