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Stand up triple sounds about right. First is kissing, second is boobies (which makes you wonder how a girl gets to second base), third is handjobs, and a homerun is full frontal penetration. So, using the established rules, he's pretty solidly on third base.

They finally admitted it? I'm impressed. "Fidels ashes will be buried..." That corpse was too old to show.

I think he's saying that Mrs bisi is actually five and a half feet tall and weighs 80 pounds. I don't know what that is in made up Canada numbers. A moose knee and fifty hockey pucks?

Take off your pants an yer pannies. Shit on the floor. It's time to get schwifty. I don't think they've had a bad episode. Except maybe the first two. The rolling burp vomit takes at least an episode or two to accept.

how about we subtitle the thread, "Or, The Unspeakable Power of Boobies"

I've never had that for more than an acute attack. Most def sounds like posture. What I have had before is crippling Charlie horses in my calves. That comes from zombieing out in front of a computer sitting in some of those office chairs. Weird that I never got that playing eq, but I was a...

Desire to know more intensifies

"Just people on the internet talking about buttholes" Deadpan it.

So wooly was like super rich and dating meth heads?

I guess that lump actually was bad news. RIP wooly. If you're pulling a potam never come back. Well, with that username at least.

Terminal butt cancer.

Don't drop it in the middle though, either lead with it or don't say it. It's not redpill game theory or whatever. It's EXACTLY how you treat an equal.

I mean you just say it, is all. If you're wrong, so fuckin what. If she pretends like she doesn't know what you're talking about, so fuckin what. It never comes up in conversation unless you bring it up in conversation. If you're waiting for the precise right moment to say things that moment...

A watt (W) is a derived unit of power in the International System of Units (SI) defined as one joule per second. Power measures the rate of energy conversion or the rate at which work is done. One watt is the rate at which work is done when an object’s velocity is held constant at one meter per...

put no babies in it.

You guys watch too much internet. Girls don't poop. Thus, it naturally follows that they have no pooping hole.

Joe's ok. Yeah he's sort of a meathead, but he's a well intentioned meathead and he might not be the smartest guy in the room but honestly he's not dumb either. See his new standup special? It's actually pretty damn good. Made me laugh, and I went into it expecting to probably have to turn...

It took about two days, but he shit out a slightly mangled plastic Fironia Vie statue. Word is that there was a little bit of yelping. We're not sure if it was the puppy or if it was Flex.

You need to load a flash drive up with a ton of Lex the Impaler movies and then somehow let her "find" it. Like leave it at her dorm room or leave it in your laptop and find an excuse to leave her alone with said laptop for about 30 minutes.

AA's don't grind themselves, bro.

I walk around without pants all the time. But that's the great thing about being a guy. Company comes over? I still don't have to put on pants!

He rides the Malaysian airliner now. Wifi is free in heaven, and its always five bars.

Still dead?

That pathological science speech was an interesting read. I feel like I'm missing some context though. And, from just that speech linked, i'm not sure if it fits his definition of pathological science or if it would be more appropriate for him to just label it as a general allison effect. The...

One thing I've learned from askscience over the years is that even highly educated people, true experts in a specific narrowly focused band of research science, will have brainfart days. It used to happen more. Ask science pretty much went to shit about five years ago. It's more on a high...

Stolen valor faggotry goes way beyond white lies, and should probably result in a public assbeating.

I think he means when you pull out and lean back and it just goes everywhere. The joyful jizzsplosion

I don't care how it got there, if you got poop on your dick you're a queer.

So you're saying that, like keg, they want the D?

LOL. I think it's entirely possible that you don't understand his sense of humor. I'll do it sometimes. I'll start with a small story and by the end of the conversation it's grown into a tall tale. The real fun of it is to see how far you get before someone goes, "Now wait a minute". If you...

Only 100? Are you poor or something? Mine has 2 decks. The bottom one is 125.

From a guys perspective.. I don't think he's doing that. I think he's kinda dumb and not paying attention. Not really. This is the "no sex before marriage" guy. And he's looking for a wife. I'm sure he's a stand up guy. But he has a VERY specific role defined in his mind for girlfriend and...

Man dissolves in acidic water at Yellowstone ???

You don't get to judge me.

Name him Dumbass Junior. A real Trump support would.

CLASSING THIS THREAD UP, SORRY TYEN. GREAT THREAD THOUGH. NO SALMON.

The moon gets bright as fuck in winter. But that's mostly just because the air has less water in it and shit. I noticed it was bright, but couldn't say if it was brighter. I've seen it about that bright in december/january.

She has eyes? Oh, she does. Up there!

oh shit, so what I'm reading is that Assange being held in that federal prison over in Butner? SWEET. The main problem I see with that theory is that if they were going to go to all that trouble, a political assassination is much less trouble and much easier to cover up. You kill him in...