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Fucking fucks. they told me all night that all i had to do was subscribe to ESPN+ to get the fight. I was like, WTF, $4.99 for a UFC is pretty good. Maybe I won't even cancel immediately and see what ESPN+ has. Then I finally subscribe and they want another fucking $59.99. Fuck them. They...

I drove in florida once and came upon one of those exits where you needed a sunpass. I had no idea how else to get where I was going, so I had to use the exit. I stopped and called the number on the booth at like midnight. Got an old dude who it sounded like I had just woken up. He told me...

Worst season so far, but I still like it. I'd rather have coked out pam than this rock monster with smelly boners. Jury is still out on carol. She's always the best character from season to season, but she's still kind of ho hum so far in this one. I mean, is she even still the same freak...

Is this still a continuation on the original? Are they trying to forget the girl power reboot?

Who are you going to infect next? May I suggest attempting to give it back to the family that gave it to you? With luck, they'll be getting over it while you are still infectious.

I used to be the undisputed champ at operation. The key is to treat it like it's a real person and just turn him over and shake the pieces out.

I use jaxx for my wallet. Coinbase can fuck itself. They stole some of my coin by deciding at the last minute that I hadn't jumped through enough hoops to cash it out to a bank account. I think they owe me a refund on the transfer fees. I showed them with their own words where I had done...

You're probably thinking they are lasers that should be moving at the speed of light. They are plasma bolts. Superheated tibanna gas (the stuff lando was mining in cloud city) that gets launched. Also, what scene are we talking about?

I can't tell if that's a pro or anti sargon song. Also I don't care who sargon is.

If he was just looking for a gay QB to out, why didn't he go with the smart money and talk about Garcia? I'm tellin ya, TO and Garcia were lovers.

Maybe toll road authorities are idiots everywhere. I remember once when I bought a used car. I put the car on my account immediately and started using the toll roads. before the toll tag came in. Then I started getting violation notices months later. Turns out I was ALSO supposed to enter...

By the 15th date, the questions would be, "Did you give me herpes? What kind? Where?"

I was just looking for where the line is so our more talented shoopers won't be scared to try it.

Since we're on this topic anyway. I just got drug tested 2 weeks in a row at work. They filed the wrong paperwork the first time. I told the HSE girl "It's a good thing I didn't go on a cocaine bender to celebrate passing the last one!" She said "Yeah, right. Passing. You need to go to the...

I'm glad you said something. I didn't realize it had sound.

Yeah I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop here. I'm not even sure that's really his kid, he just wanted to see what we'd do with the picture. @LLR can we get a ruling on whether drawing dicks on this kid would violate any rules?

I have used the line "This is a house, not an NVA training camp and this is a dishwasher, not a punji trap" Maybe she's a RL wicked witch and she freaks out because she's not sure she has her protection from water spell active.

Only thing that pisses me off about silverware in the dishwasher is people who put the fucking pointy ends up. I either put all the same type in each slot, or have even numbers in each slot. Cause sometimes I have CDO and sometimes I have ODC. There was a comedian back in the 80's who had a...

So is this the last season?

Wasn't item 1 on that list to get them young before they get diseased?

I guess you have to weigh it every time from now on before you leave the store. Because even if you convince them your scale is correct, how do they know you didn't remove half of it? Pharmacies get this too. Employees short customers and steal the shit for themselves.

Weird. similar to my testosterone levels that I mentioned in another thread. After something like a decade of them being low, they're suddenly back in the normal range. I haven't done a treatment for it in at least 5 years, and the treatments were't making a difference.

Fuck her with a condom but I understand how you feel. First girl who told me she had the herp I did my research, thought I was ok with it, almost fucked her in a car wash and had to stop. She was nowhere near as hot as your girl. I still feel like an ass for how I broke lot off mid makeout...

I thought 28" was the standard draw length. How long are your arrows? They're supposed to be sized according to the draw. Unless that's all completely different for compounds. But I don't think it is.

One of my good friends was an old hippy from the 60's. He said everyone should try sex on shrooms at least once.

That's what I can't figure out. Sometimes I like to try and figure out what the scam is. How the fuck are they getting money from me if they won't even talk? I thought maybe it was a variation on the one ring callback scam, but these numbers are in my own area code, so there's no way they can...

Too soon bro.

I keep getting calls wanting to buy some house in another city. I swear to flying spaghetti monster I'm about to sell a motherfucking house. I've gotten offers from 2 of them and they were like half the value on zillow. So I read them the riot act over wasting my time with lowball offers...

Same here. I like to fuck with them. Last week I got a call that met that description so i picked up and said "It's done and there's blood everywhere. But that's your problem now" and hung up. A minute later I got another call from the same number and I was like, is this fo real? So I...

The FCC changed its rules not too long ago to allow the carriers to be more aggressive at detecting and shutting the scammers down. They have the tools, but it doesn't seem like any of them have decided to use them yet. Probably afraid of the backlash when they inevitably shut down legitimate...

Yes. Motherfuckers skipped your question. Next couple posters probably had you on ignore. Just the one time they did it. It's the old boiling a frog routine. The king tried to throw them into a pot of boiling water and they jumped out. But what's happening now has happened slowly over...

I am fully erect. Is this house still for sale?

I looked it up for myself. Doing what's necessary to prevent harm to a human is a defense to prosecution rather than an exception to the various laws. This is separate from defending livestock or defending yourself from a person harming you because those are spelled out specifically in law...

You're right. It's not important at all to accurately describe a problem. All that matters is that we do something that makes us feel better. This works in all aspects of life BTW, not just when you want to murder family pets who have done nothing wrong.

The fuck? Did you mean to say after the attack is done and everyone is safe? Cause that might be correct. But you damn sure can kill any animal or person who is attacking you or your children while the attack is in progress. Well OK, maybe if it's a kid who's not reasonably capable of...

LOL no. It's a very effective place to hit someone.

Bro, you got a detachable shower head and aiming it at your feet is tickling your pickle?

Disappointed there was no nose joke in there. but lurkingdick had you covered.

If they are outside, then something is probably eating the dead rats. I would dump my dead rats outside by the end of the driveway and they were gone without a trace in no time. If I get another one I'm going to put a camera on it to see what's getting them. I had a pest control company...

lol both seats. You must have one of those extra thick ADA seats on your rig.