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What the fuck are you talking about? You need to be more specific.

I used to date a girl who told me she had broken guy's dicks. Not one, but multiple. I asked if it was something they recovered from, she said she didn't know because she didn't keep up with them. She said she didn't know what happened, they just started screaming and shit and tried to get...

Everyone agrees the woman was lizzy's mom, right?

Oh shit, i didn't think it would get any worse than the gayness being a genetic defect thing. Now it's a 'not enough oxygen' type thing (or whatever the cause is going to be). Can't wait till they figure out what's deficient and put it into pill. Don't want your son to be gay? Better take...

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person ever to have clogged a toilet. Don't worry guys, your secret is safe. The plumbing there is terrible because there's tons of sand in the water. That's a jimmy rustle though, so this isn't the right thread.

It is different, but it's the same in two important ways. It's writing that draws your attention away from the action you should be focused on, and it's unnecessary. The real problem with those signs is that they try to put too much info on them and I'm never within sight of one long enough to...

Taking a shit, forget that the plumbing sucks and so forget to do some courtesy flushes. Flush the toilet when I'm done, and it aint going down. It's just kind of slowly rotating around. Hating life because now I'm going to have to plunge it, because I aint the kind of asshole what leaves a...

I assume she got it because it makes the wigs fit better. Please tell me that's not what she looks like on the new season.

This doesn't happen. It's pretty much only autistic dumbasses like you who even try to read those signs. If we don't watch subtitled movies, why would we fuck with reading the subtitles on roads?

Dick transplant. Edit: Forgot a gif

C'mon, what guy hasn't been on his back when he jerked off and gotten some in his mouth? Only guys who haven't tried, that's who.

The correct answer is ... ask how old she is and put the picture in your pocket.

I've got a call in appointment with ted cruz and a couple more senators tomorrow. I'm going to go ahead and get the ball rolling to outlaw this shit before it becomes real.

Is she single? Got any pics?

We'll hear from him monday. Judge is off this weekend.

yeah this thread has pics of all the girls in his sig.

I'm not afraid to admit that I won't even consider watching a movie that's subtitled. Come up with dubbed versions, or GTFO, it's not a real film. Reading the subs takes me away from watching what's actually going on in the movie. Not that I'm against words on the bottom of the screen. I...

Lol'd at the condom. I guess He's planning to make a stew with that one later.

'Funny' is not something either of you really brings to the table. You know how they say, "Laugh and the world laughs with you ..." That's not always true. Sometimes you're laughing, and the world is laughing, and the world is still laughing at you. I don't know about keg, the only thing...

One of us doesn't understand how polls get made.

Yeah, isn't this at least the 2nd time they've been to the end of the universe?

How are people supposed to know there's a top gun 2? So the request goes triple when it's a movie you're making up. Thank you for your consideration. Szlia, I thank you for giving us your 4 star movies as a reference so we know to ignore your ratings completely. I believe everyone has a right...

Hmm, I detected and still detect no hint of a joke. So you're probably right. I will assume "Let it go" is a line either heimdahl or black panther used a lot in the comics and silently chuckle to myself.

I think it's acceptable to lie on the profile as long as you tell her the truth right after you get in her guts.

The girl I talked to on the phone didn't want a fight (she said she would lay there and pretend to be asleep until the orgasm), and i suspect it would have been the same way for the girl I dated. I think they just wanted to get fucked and be powerless to do anything about it. Thanks for your...

Don't think it was another kid playing tricks unless he was deformed. Anyone get a screen cap of when it started to remove the blanket right behind them?

If you're going to talk about other movies in a movie thread, have the decency to not use ambiguous fucking acronyms. Especially when you're talking about someone who has made more movies than any normal person could possibly remember. I rarely watch award shows, but I saw a Christian band...

I think you misunderestimate me. I don't really care about it other than that it was an obvious PC move. I think the guy did great in the role, and I don't read comic books so I had 0 investment in his character. The black panther being white would be a similar PC move and would make me laugh.

Jennifer Anniston's character got me so hard in the first movie. She looks even more awesome in the trailer for the second one. I kinda want a spin off movie about just her, but only if they don't do some shitty character arc where she grows as a person or whatever. If there must be an arc...

If the Hitler paradox is a variant of the grandfather paradox, then logically, the answers must be the same. Fuck your grandmother.

What are my choices, red and blue? Red pill is sudafed. I do have allergy problems, but sinus medicine breaks my dick. Blue pill is viagra, that would probably break my wife's pussy. Then her jaw. Then her asshole. Neither sounds good. How about an orange flintstones vitamin? Is that...

Around here when you get called, you can go online and schedule your date. Maybe I should go to that website and try scheduling a time even without a summons. I can't remember if there was any kind of keycode to enter. I wonder if there's a strat that will land me on a grand jury.

Speaking of figuring things out months later .... I was once seeing a chick who I think wanted me to rape her. Woulda been a good story for this thread if I'd realized it while I was still seeing her. I saw her twice, both times I slept in her bed and we were both naked. Both times she told...

Clearing out my spam folder today. There were a number of them that tickled my pickle, but this was the best. Got it at least twice ---------- How are you sexy? Its me Adriana you remember me from Facebook? I saw your pictures today and you're CUTE! Imagine me giving you a massage and...

I wish I could volunteer for Jury duty. I've gotten summons for people who used to have my address, and I called up asking if I could take their place and got denied.

I would laugh my ass off too, but she better keep going. I don't stop licking when a chick farts.

KNOW Justice, KNOW Peace. Think about it brother CHAOS.

I laugh at these land beasts with the lunch specials. I assume the special is that you pay her $100 for the privilege of buying her lunch and watching her eat it. I'm sure they set a hard limit of no more than 10 of those a day.

Kinda forgot about it. Fucking DVR hasn't been recording them for some reason.

Had to rewatch it cause at the end I realized I hadn't been reading the crawl.