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Changing things, indeed. The Wertzone: Matthew McConaughey and Idris Elba cast in THE DARK TOWER movie series

Went to Five Guys tonight and for the first time they charged me extra for extra bacon. I've never been charged for it before, but it was $1 more tonight. That makes my bacon cheeseburger with small fries and regular drink come to $15. Gettin' pricey.

Edit: Used giphy instead and it worked.

Went to Chipotle today. They had an employee occasionally testing the temperate of the frontline meat with a probe. First time I've seen that happen there. Must be part of their new procedures. My burrito bowl was delicious.

The parking spot thing rustles me, too. I'd rather get in the store and get done instead of waiting 10 minutes for grandma to load the car, search her purse for 5 minutes for her keys, then slowly creep out of the spot.

What kind of cancer was JarJar Binks diagnosed with?

What's the difference between USA and USB? One connects to all your devices and access your data, and the other is a hardware standard.

Two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the lottery. To my horror they were right.....we had 6 matching balls.

A man goes to a brothel. The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you sir?" she asked. The man replied, "I wan to see Valerie." "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies...

My girlfriend told me early on that she wanted me to open the car door for her. I told her I'd open it to let her in the car, but I wasn't doing it so she could get out. She's accepted the arrangement.

Upton

AT&T has stopped making U-verse set top boxes. Their plan is to push everyone to DirecTV and mobile broadband and then eventually kill off U-verse entirely.

Pierre, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the river Seine. It is a beautiful day and love is in the air, so Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me". So our hero grabs a bottle of red wine and splashes it on Marie's lips...

I was at my bank today and there was an Asian lady there who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his...

Zack Snyder

Used my coupon today. They didn't charge for double meat. E.coli never tasted so good.

Finally got mine. I hope they make my ecoli fresh.

I signed up for the burrito and then told my girlfriend to do it. She got the coupon text yesterday. I haven't received mine yet. /rustled

Oh lawd! I just discovered an app that makes IOS much more usable. It's called Workflow. You can make your own custom actions and scripts. For example, you can make an action that you add to the Share menu that automatically opens an image, resizes it, crops it, saves it, then posts it. Or you...

I decided to try the iPad Pro and Apple Pencil. I was skeptical, but I've come to really enjoy using it. The split screen view makes a huge difference. I like keeping Twitter open in a narrow column while doing other stuff in the big column. The Smart Keyboard keeps it light while giving me a...

Got mine. I've eaten there several times of late with no problems. The shorter lines are nice.

One day, the President finds a nasty message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn. He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results. "Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news." "What's the bad news?" "The urine belongs to...