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I"ll just do my damnedest to dodge both those awful scenarios.

Few things kill my boner quicker than lopsided or cross-eyed balloon tits.

Is this the first time she"s had to take the drug (since you"ve been dating)? If she"s taken it before, what were the effects?

All of them. All of the highlighters.

Not lulzy.

Lulzy

Pretty sure that nose is the only thing Truckasaurus has that could fill a D cup.

A most elegant solution.

Fair enough. Good point.

I think you just inadvertently complimented Truckasaurus" body, bro.

^

David Blaine her with one of those easy guys.

No.

Only if you"ve got the money to do it right. Shitty titty jobs are the fucking worst.

He should write her a letter from America so she knows what life"s been like without her.

He should Proclaim his love to the whole wide world.

Who fucking knows? Scottish gibberish as far as I"m concerned.

Yeah, but would you walk 500 more?

As long as she"s flying down to visit you or she pays your air fare to visit her, this is acceptable.

Hey, to each their own, I just didn"t want anyone getting the wrong idea and going on a tiny titty hunt under the assumption they"ll never go bad.

Even if it wasn"t, we"re talking about the future version of electrical-tape-pasty girl, when her tiny tits become tiny flapjacks... possibly. So, basically, I don"t know what we"re talking about anymore. Pancake girl still sucks until you post some pictures (preferably holding a plate of...

I have no desire to ever see the tits Col. Gathers and Brock are talking about. Even in animated form.

This is absolutely not true. Tiny tits can still become tiny flapjacks. It"s depressing.

I don"t know where it begins or ends.

Her knees are too sharp, she"s fat, she needs to eat a sammich, but she"s not quite Shelly.

You raise a valid point.

No.

Pics or she"s fucking lame.

My county used milk bags during the majority of my childhood. We never threw the bags. Instead we would stuff pieces of food in a corner of a bag, then smash the opposite end with a fist. Food would fly across the entire cafeteria, and the maneuver was undetectable by the shitty frame rate our...

And yet you would dare answer a question directed at him? Shit"s getting out of hand Salty, did you authorize this?

Does that actually work on Truckasaurus, or does her nose get in the way?

I"m confused, she told you she had an STD in an attempt to get back with you? Has that ever worked? Got to love the pregnancy followup.

This would be my call. That said, it depends on how much bleeding you"re really talking about here. That could be an awkward moment for her, especially. I can"t recall ever bedding someone with an open wound on my junk, so I don"t have any anecdotal evidence, but I"d imagine that could freak her...

That was a good call, probably.

So have none of our new bros had any shitty girlfriends, wives, dead girlfriends, algebra-gifted mutants, etc. to share with us?

Back of the knee?

If you get Truckasaurus here addicted to heroin, we can forgive and forget about your thieving hooker ex.

There"s only one way to know for sure.

I don"t fuck fatties, but I"m all for getting drunk and watching people hit on fatties if that"s your thing. Brodate?

Murfreesboro at the time, I went to MTSU for undergrad and grad school. I live in Clarksville now. It"s about the same distance from Nashville, just the other direction along 24.