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I am a fatty and I have posted pics. Checkmate. But on the mustache, there is a joke in there somewhere about having a dirty sanchez for prostate awareness, but since I admire the finished product I will just say nice Minschew stache instead.

Good on you for setting a goal and making it. But I would up your shaving game a bit, that dirty sanchez thing you got going on is not optimum.

Yeah whatever edge lords, but he is noticeably different, just by his damage to the NPC summons in the fight. My last play was about 8 months prior and I remember I frame rolling with medium encumbrance being viable, but now I am consistently getting gibbed with light encumbrance and on a...

Looks like they buffed Radann up to his release levels. Sure wish they would make up their mind about him. Last time I played the game, I was able to beat him pretty convincingly in one or two tries with a melee build, but this time out he just seems to do way too much damage and massive hit...

That dude has drank the fag koolaid faster than anyone in history. He could have been an icon for positive male role models as an actor, but he distanced himself from the Swanson thing and has fully Folered the proverbial woke wang of tinsletown.

Season 3 has been solid so far. Still a little too much time spent on perimeter characters, but the comedy is spot on. If you liked the previous seasons, this one does not disappoint.

Sorcery is always the best for two reasons. First, Night Commet is the best spell in the game for efficiency, ease of use, and the AI being hard coded to not dodge it. Second, so much of the game is cheesed by Comet. Bonus points, MLGS makes every caster build also a really powerful melee build.

Poop man is one of the hardest to kill summons if not the hardest to kill summons in the game. And he has debuffs that land on EVERYTHING in the game. Plus his DPS is not exactly shabby either. It takes a lot of effort to get Poo Man, but he really is the best summon in the game (mimic and...

If you are running a summon for this fight, Poop Man is by far the best option, as well. There is also a black assassin dagger you can get that does a similar percentage dot thing and all three effects can be active at once. I had to resort to that retardation on my dagger run because getting...

As a caster, I have done the rock toss or the Bow spell to good effect, even with his resists to Sorcery. MLGS with the Godrick talisman and other gear has seemed to be the easiest way to beat both phases.

When I die at the Elden Beast part of the fight it is usually because either I was blowing stamina dodging the holy rain or ring thing, then he unleashes the fucking wave arc attack at the same time. The wave arc is the one move that pisses me off the most, because he can apparently frame...

Raw physical damage is ultimately the best, even though he cannot be staggered. If you are not two hand unga bunga, then do what was suggested and work fire in since they resist that element the least. Failing that, MLGS really works well with the right talismans, even though Beast is Sorcery...

Resists are the difference between getting one shot by that stupid holy wave arc move at an inopportune moment and living to flask. Again, your build is largely going to dictate how you need to reconfigure during this battle. The rain is rarely the issue for anyone who has made it this far in...

With slightly less humiliation and sodomy.

Pure class Fighters, Monks, and Evo Wizards are definitely strong. The main issue I have with the Fighter class is that you need to have some sort of fear immunity. Lockadins are powerful precisely because they cannot be disarmed and can minmax their stats around CHA, then offset the DPS...

No, but there is a fire based weapon art on a hidden bug in north Caelid that lets you make the weapon its applied to fire based. Pretty good scaling and the art itself is not too shaby for short range AE of annoying shit like rats and dogs. Plus Margit really hates being set on fire.

I started up again, doing a lance sometimes with shield setup snagging the fire weapon art that you can get early in Caelid since fire damage tends to be really good early in the game. Inching up my faith so I can transition to Winged Scythe a little later. So sort of a faith dex hoplite thing...

This might be the most factually accurate and informative post you have ever made on this board.

Not to mention the Adamant Forge basically decks out over half your party with crit immunity armor, some of which is still the best armor in the game right up until the end. And if you grab the Lathander mace, big chunks of Act 2 are way easier. Toss in the fact that if you are extremely...

Having played all prior FROM games and their DLCs to completion, I am just now stating a fresh game with no twinking. Might have to shelve it when DD2 lands, but at that point I should be midgame enough to be in the right zone for the DLC. Resisted as long as I could but it was either this or...

PS if you like being a dual weilding samurai, there is a Wakasashi somewhat early in the game that while technically a dagger power stances with a mainhand katana. Reach suffers, but it can be set up with any weapon art you want on it. Using it offhand ramps up the speed of the power stance...

I am not into PvP much, so I won't comment on that. But PvE if I assume by best you mean strongest, Two Hander Unga Bunga Full Frontal Male Nudity strength is incredibly effective and easy to do if you can dodge, with a lot of fun weapon options for strong weapon arts. Bleed Builds, with a...

This. Once you have enough to cover the min stats of your mainstay weapon, Vigor and then Endurance should both be raised to 20 at a bare minimum. You will want to have at least 30 and probably 40 by the end of the game. You can rack up a lot of Sacred Chalices early to make flasking still...

Stat up and go spear and shield (Large Thrusting Sword works here too). Its not the most damaging, but extremely versatile including most of the major attack strategies in their repertoire. And if you are not doing it, start using guard counter. It is really effective with large spears and...

Depends on the build and how much I plan on playing multiplayer. PvE there are only a few specific fights where parry is worth learning to dominate them (Malenia being the most obvious one) where most of the time guard counters or counterpokes tend to be more universally effective. I still...

The bugs that can fuck you over randomly make Honor Mode a no go for me. If you can customize it to get the difficulty without the one save and wipe shit, I might go back and do that but no way am I trusting a Larian game to not randomly take a shit on me with a bug that wipes out hours of...

Yeah asked my wife when we got hitched if she wanted to get rings. Her answer was "lets get another playstation with that money instead." My wife is a keeper.

We need another couple weeks of khaine edge lording to pay penace for dlc. honestly i think it drops right before DD2 to undermine that release.

Agree, but I definitely had the most fun playing power whips, power daggers, and great lances. Thats why I could not get into bloodborne as much, the souls games had much more tactical methodic combat thanks to the real variance in weapons.

I would also add that if you guys have not tried it yet, power stance whips is actually a shitload of fun and really affective at clearing trash and certain staggerable boss fights. The whips in the game are hard to find, but they tend to be very flexible in terms of weapon arts and playstyle...

Those dogs get rag dolled by any kind of unga bunga weapon, though. There was a bullshit issue with certain dogs having stupid attack boxes that resulted in massive chains of bleed from a single attack, but I think that got fixed a while back.

That knight guy is somewhat rough for melee, but you can joust him to death with any decent reach weapon especially if it has bleed. He is a total pussy against certain weapons you likely have at that point if weapon arts are your jam. The lance from the capitol (or the shooty spear in the...

This is how I beat him the first time. As long as you can beat the first stage of the fight, you are in good shape. While he resists magic, you can do crazy damage for a very efficient mana cost with the MLGS if you stack the right rings/amulets. If you are trying to keep fast roll going, the...

The real issue with this fight is that you have to be able to kill the immune to everything asshole before him with minimal resource expenditure. Without going into details too much, this prick is resistant to nearly everything and really strong against holy and lightening. If you can work in...

McDoofus used to pull this stunt all the time when he was with GB. Toss the D-Coord under the bus to save his own ass when his offense shit the bed in a big game, which it looks like he did again in Dallas this year. The SF Defense was banged to hell and back and lost their best cover guy mid...

Elden ring switches things up enough that (ignoring the mini dungeons which are pretty much optional) you should have a hard time getting bored. Is he just hitting the wall with the Fire Giant or is he actually bored once he makes it past him? Because he is literally one zone away from the end...

Wife and I binged this from start to finish today (both felt under the weather so just played hookey) and as someone who was never a fan of the games with scant knowledge of the original plot, this was meh. They have some good actors wasted on shit writing. The fucking worst thing is that...