Search results

One time at a strip club this older classy stripper came up to me and kissed/forced a mint into my mouth. I did not eat it. I still am not sure how I feel about that. She told me "there's more where that came from" and I wasn't sure if she was inferring that she had a load of mints out back or...

What class you rolling as Ut?

I've never been to one that has had a buffet. I find the thought unappealing and quite offensive.

I only used it a couple times when it was open and bloody, now it's healing so I'm just using the neosporin. Feels good. Skins still a bit hard but I assume and hope that will go down after awhile.

I can't believe after all these years that people would ever in a million fucking years believe what a publisher said about how many hours a game is. Never once EVER has a game been as long as a publisher said.

My wife's pregnancy boobs are in. This is the greatest moment of my life

Fitting a square peg into a round hole has an all new meaning

I find it depends how I approach initiation. If I go in all lovey-dovey, I'm sure to get a gentle-look-into-my-eyes type of ride. If I go after it like I want to bend her over the couch and hit her so deep I touch her tonsils, then I am sure to get a porno-fuck-fest. If she initiates, there is...

I didn't want to risk getting staph or MRSA in her vagina/ass.

I didn't find the special effects in the Hobbit movies to be top-notch. LOTR looks like it could be passable for real life in many spots, The Hobbit uses WAY too much CGI for its own good and it ruins it. Almost every Orc/Uruk/whatever the fuck is CG where LOTR used mostly (I think) real...

I'm glad someone appreciates my one-liners and quite frankly I am touched that I was recognized publicly for them. If it makes you feel any better I've had a golfball sized boil on my ass and unable to sex my wife for a couple weeks.

Yep I'd remove admin rights and give them separate accounts. My wife has fucked up my laptop so many times.

I just download the ElvUI package and Skada. You'll never need anything else ever again, unless you want auctioneer or something.

400 is a steal when it comes with two awesome fucking masterpiece games

If this is one of the most fucked up things you've ever seen on the internet you might as well cut the cord and turn around

My wife's problem was slightly unrelated. She worked outside all summer and something with our water/detergent - I have no idea. For me it was probably at work. I do the nest on the toilet before sitting, but you never know what sickly fuck was on there before you. On Friday I pulled out...

I got YOLOSWAG and don't give a FUCK

I go every year, but I enjoy seeing the darker side of humanity. One year I went to Target with my wife and didn't want to shop so I sat in the little food area counting how many shoplifters I saw brazenly walk right out the door. They could say an XB1 was $200 and came with 5 free games and...

Bro you ever try crack?

I assume you're doing this in safemode mkopec?

Power supply or busted capacitors on the motherboard - they would look like they exploded.

I'm a little perplexed with how big this is.. watching that dude's stream last night where he had 18k viewers and was making like $10/second from donations and subs. Absolutely absurd and I don't even understand why the game is so popular.

her vagina gets bigger too, or pregnant

That's what she said. But seriously how can you say all starbursts taste the same when you put them all in your mouth at the same time. That's like saying all pizza tastes the same while layering a dominoes and pizza hut slice on top of eachother.

Michael Jordan is notorious for being one of the biggest assholes in the world, not only to teammates but fans as well.

If one is not perma-banned for such an egregious offense, the community shall perma-ban him themselves.

I was telling my wife if my company ever engineered a product as shitty as the X1/regular Comcast cable boxes we'd be out of business in a week. Comcast gets a monopoly so no one can do anything about it.

Has anyone had the new lemonade mtn dew? is it worth it? Or does it taste like pine-sol like that fucking bullshit baja blast ya'll made me try

Ok I read about their nationwide outage the other day, we weren't affected. But last night around 6:30-8:00/8:30 my wife was bitching because the X1 cable box wasn't displaying anything. That shit is infuriating. The regular cable internet worked..

I was the boss once. Fuck that. Good luck with being buddy-buddy with a few people and trying to maintain boundaries, I'm sure you'll find even the best of friends will undermine you when it benefits them. Trust me.

Why do uyou want bill gates to die? he's donated so much money and is a major humanitarian.

mmm mix until monochrome

all pizza tastes the same anyways

Fuck curing diseases, just print me new organs

Bought this game used a couple years ago and never gave it a shot but heard really great things. Is it that good?

?Wake up early in the mornin', eat that pussy like cold pizza?

Cool, didn't mean to sound shitty I think I just worded it strangely.

what are you some kind of pussy? McCheese eats that shit for an appetizer. Might even be considered a side salad.

You were right bro, I knew it but some people don't. I drained it about 4 times last night after getting home from work, about once per hour or two. It's definitely shrinking, and when I say "it" I mean what I discovered to actually be a carbuncle of 3 boils together. It just keeps getting...

What's the ps3 lineup for those at work? For the past year it's always been more interesting.