Carribean Cruises

Been on a couple cruises and loved them both, sadly mine, both on carnival were everything included except alcohol, which you had to pay for. One was Caribbean and the other was Mexican. The Caribbean was great stopped at Cozumel, roatan Honduras, belize and a few other amazing places. If you dive they are great, of you don't there are still amazing excursion options. I would strongly suggest taking advantage of the excursions if you don't know the location, pretty much get taken care of. As much as all of the getting out on the locations was great I think my favorite part was the food, decent all you can eat whenever you want and the nightly dinners were all really good. Never forget, at the dinners they will give you extras or seconds, all you have to do is ask, so if all the deserts sound tasty ask for all of them. Good luck, cruises are great if you don't get sea sick.

Kovaks_sl said:

Been on a couple cruises and loved them both, sadly mine, both on carnival were everything included except alcohol, which you had to pay for. One was Caribbean and the other was Mexican. The Caribbean was great stopped at Cozumel, roatan Honduras, belize and a few other amazing places. If you dive they are great, of you don't there are still amazing excursion options. I would strongly suggest taking advantage of the excursions if you don't know the location, pretty much get taken care of. As much as all of the getting out on the locations was great I think my favorite part was the food, decent all you can eat whenever you want and the nightly dinners were all really good. Never forget, at the dinners they will give you extras or seconds, all you have to do is ask, so if all the deserts sound tasty ask for all of them. Good luck, cruises are great if you don't get sea sick.

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This is good to hear. We're actually going on a cruise that goes to all of the places you listed (Honduras, Belize, etc) from Carnival.. most likely the same cruise. Can't wait. It's in August so I hope my face doesn't get melted off from the heat.

Kovaks_sl said:

Been on a couple cruises and loved them both, sadly mine, both on carnival were everything included except alcohol, which you had to pay for. One was Caribbean and the other was Mexican. The Caribbean was great stopped at Cozumel, roatan Honduras, belize and a few other amazing places. If you dive they are great, of you don't there are still amazing excursion options. I would strongly suggest taking advantage of the excursions if you don't know the location, pretty much get taken care of. As much as all of the getting out on the locations was great I think my favorite part was the food, decent all you can eat whenever you want and the nightly dinners were all really good. Never forget, at the dinners they will give you extras or seconds, all you have to do is ask, so if all the deserts sound tasty ask for all of them. Good luck, cruises are great if you don't get sea sick.

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I've been on Carnival 3 times now (once with the wife) and can backup everything he said 100%. I add a couple of things.

1. Their breakfasts are also awesome if you can manage to not sleep in and make it to them wink wink
2. You won't be spending much time in your room so don't splurge for an expensive one. On more then a few nights we slept on a deck chair in the warm breeze. Fucking awesome.

3. You can order food to your room for FREE. I would suggest you tip well though BUT you don't actually tip until the last day of the cruise so no pressure. Our wait and room staff were so goddamn awesome we tipped $100 bucks to the both of them but you don't have to. That said...

4. Bring a couple of hundred in spending cash. You can do travelers checks and it is safer but cash sure as hell is easier to spend. But don't buy at the first shops you see if you are shopping go far out of the way. Also splurge yourselves and convince the wife/gf to buy a bag of weed of the nearest cabbie and have a hilarious night.

5. Nude beaches: Go only in the evening and enjoy the view.

6. The ATV excursion is the best shit ever. EVER.

7. If you choose the later dining option you will never have to be worried about being rushed out because the next group is coming in but it is possible that the most popular dishes will be gone. It only happened once to us but we damn well wanted that orange gazed duck or something...

8. Don't buy every picture of the day just pick a couple good ones.


The one thing we would most like out of our next cruise is the ability to stay a few nights over on an island and then come back. Don't know if it is possible but the stops always seem to short.

Don't take his advice on the nude beaches. Ugh. We went to one in St Maartin, and holy fuck...do not want. It's like that whole nudist colony thing. The people who actually are into that are not the types of people you want to see nude.

Also, Carnival now offers an anytime dining option. If it's available on whatever ship you do, I recommend it. Fuck going to dinner at a prescribed time. Having early dining and missing time on shore sucks. Having late dining and missing a show that you want to see sucks. Getting to pick when you eat in the main dining rooms is great. The meals on cruises are probably my favorite part (only done Carnival, I think 3 times), and having to eat at one of the fast food places as a work around to shore/shows is fucking depressing.

Elurin_sl said:

Don't take his advice on the nude beaches. Ugh. We went to one in St Maartin, and holy fuck...do not want. It's like that whole nudist colony thing. The people who actually are into that are not the types of people you want to see nude.

Also, Carnival now offers an anytime dining option. If it's available on whatever ship you do, I recommend it. Fuck going to dinner at a prescribed time. Having early dining and missing time on shore sucks. Having late dining and missing a show that you want to see sucks. Getting to pick when you eat in the main dining rooms is great. The meals on cruises are probably my favorite part (only done Carnival, I think 3 times), and having to eat at one of the fast food places as a work around to shore/shows is fucking depressing.

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TBH you are right. We went during the morning and saw nothing but old people and kids (ugh!) but we left and came back in the evening and the only thing I remember is the models who came by with two of them holding a rack of bikinis and a third modeling whichever one we wanted on the rack.


My wife actually got a kick out of it because I had to try to pretend to not to look while obviously looking at every inch and hoping she would ask them to try on another bikini.

I went on a cruise 2 years ago to Cozumel... Loved it.

I'll be going to the bahamas next month with my girlfriend. Any tips/advice on what to do in Nassau? (When I went to cozumel I did one of the boat sponsored excursions for scuba diving and absolutely loved it, thought it was an amazing value for 50 bucks, but my girlfriend is not a very strong swimmer and basically already told me there is no way she is going scuba diving).

Tell your girlfriend that swimming and scuba diving have almost nothing to do with each other. You don't need to be a good swimmer to dive. You've got a self contained supply of air, 3-foot long flippers on your feet, and an inflatable life jacket/BCD. Nassau wise, I have no idea, never been. I did a couple trips for spring break when I was in high school to the area around Bimini to do diving, and that shit was awesome (http://www.blackbeard-cruises.com/).

How hard is it to get away with smoking weed on a cruise, portable vape obviously but is that the only way other than edibles?

a cruise sounds interesting but i just cant be without my ganja, also titanic.

TecKnoe_sl said:

How hard is it to get away with smoking weed on a cruise, portable vape obviously but is that the only way other than edibles?

a cruise sounds interesting but i just cant be without my ganja, also titanic.

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do not try to bring ganja with you, or buy it anywhere you go. you will be caught, arrested, and deported from whichever country you're located in at the time.

Unless you're in Jamaica. Then some dude will just hand you a half ounce bag in the middle of the airport parking lot, 20 feet from the door.

But yeah seriously though, if you're not in the US, be extremely careful with drugs. Even a country like Jamaica actually has extremely stiff penalties for pot. They just turn a blind eye to it if you're on a resort and dropping cash in the economy. All bets are off when you leave the resort.

Yeah don't try and score illegal drugs on a cruise / foreign country unless you're a fucking retard. You are much better off hitting the local pharmacy and scoring some pills if that is your thing. Don't bring them back through customs, unless of course, you are retarded.

As for cruises, been on a ton of them, on many lines. You can sum up the popular options:

Celebrity - Top of the standard cruise fare. Much older crowd on average, people actually dress up on formal nights (significant % will be in monkey suits) and the food is simply unbeatable. Most of the ships are ghost towns past 10-11pm at night so don't expect a good night life unless you like siting in the piano bar smoking a stogie. If you like life slowed down a notch though these cruises are very well done. I've been on one of these and likely won't ever go back on one despite the awesome food / wine. Just not my style.

Royal - More expensive on average than Carnival. Larger ships tend to have a fair bit more passengers as well and while the ship's boast large tonnage (really volume) most of it is displacement from those open air atriums (not useable space). I'd give Royal the nod on shows and feel that their shows are better than Carnival. Food as well, on average, is better although that gap has changed / narrowed over the years. I'm not a huge Royal fan. I recognize they do things a little different and while I like their ships I feel they pack to many passengers on there and get the cattle car feel much more than on other vessels. I also don't like how they nickle and dime you for things like Johnny Rockets / milk shakes and other things that really should be free considering the premium you're already paying. I find most of their draws gimmicky (that tiny ice rink as an example) although I know others enjoy them. Still a good option.

Carnival - Cheaper on average. Go to the same ports. Excellent night life. Always something going on regardless of the time. Shows are generally good, adult comedy is generally best on the sea and food is usually very good. Probably your best bang for your buck cruise line that mostly gets things right. I've found service between Carnival and Royal to be the same mixed bag but generally good (port and cruise length do help on both lines). I like the newer Carnival ships much better than the Royal. Carnival has started making use of a lot more traditionally unused deck space. So they'll have jacuzzis and bars down on deck 4 with the BBQ buffet (Dream and newer) where most cruise lines don't bother using those lower decks at all. The lunch areas are pretty well spread out and that is generally something they do well on all their ships. Spread you out so you don't feel like you're on a cattle car. I like not needing appointments on Carnival and doing what ever I want when I want. You will always find a healthy night life and Carnival has one of the best kids programs at sea of any cruise line. Hands down they are one of the best family lines at sea.

NCL - I've been on a few NCL cruises and found them mostly mediocre at best with the exception the Epic. Their claim to fame is free style dining and generally have a few different dining options / restaurants on board. Some charge, some don't and most of them are very mediocre IMO. We enjoyed the Epic which was part of NCL's new culture they were pushing and it was a good experience. Would I go again? Not really. I think Carnival and RCL fill the niches better and that will keep NCL as lower tier option. Considering all the lines generally go to the same places (unless you break out of the 7 day cruise market) I doubt we'll go on them again.

kedwyn i've been on 2 Carnival and 1 NCL, and you definitely summarized the experience well. I am however very disappointed by your assessment of RC and Celebrity - what a bummer..

I did a 7 day bahamas cruise with carnival, leaving from baltimore and it was amazing!
You're basically a king while on a cruise

Pretty much everything Kedwyn said. I've been on Celebrity, RC, Carnival, and Disney Cruise. Celebrity is tops IMO with RC a close second depending on what ship you get. Food on both cruise lines was awesome. Carnival, to me, is definitely the "younger crowd" type cruise. The ships I went on tended to be a little bit older and the decor a bit dated (80s neon everywhere! Rad!), but the crowd consisted of more college kids and younger 20-30s demographic. Food on the ship was pretty good but not like some of the epic meals I still remember on the other cruise lines.

I use vacationstogo.com for their 90 day deals. We got a room on 3 night carnival cruise for $185/person.

The majority of money you spend on the boat will be for liquor. Most cruise lines use your room key as payment and then you get the total bill at the conclusion of your trip. You can imagine how many conversations have been had along the lines of "Holy shit. I dont remember drinking THAT much!" I always manage to bring a bottle or two of vodka on board. Technically, youre not supposed to do this, but the only thing the port security will do is confiscate it and give you a dirty look. That is why you put clear liquor in a water bottle or mouthwash bottle and store it in yourchecked luggagewhen checking in. If you go through the security check point with a bottle in your carry on, then they will take it out, remove the cap (if loose) and smell for liquor. Lots of bottles confiscated on last cruise i went on. There are just too many checked bags for them to go through to try and find liquor. Kind of a pain, but will save you quite a few bucks if you're a lush like me.

Find a cruise that goes to St. Thomas. Best beach in the world is there.

Yeah we bring flasks on board for booze. We stopped bringing bottles in the bags when they started checking. I like knowing 100% that its going to get through and not be pissed off that half our stash is sitting in storage until the end of the trip.

this is how you shouldsneak booze onboard

over 1500 ML of my booze has gone unconfinscated over 3 cruises

Echuta_sl said:

Find a cruise that goes to St. Thomas. Best beach in the world is there.

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Went to Sapphire Beach on St. Thomas several years ago, and outside of Aruba, I'd definitely agree. Then again, I've heard the beaches on St. John blow St. Thomas away. But they're close enough that you can take the ferry on a cruise from St. Thomas and still have time to enjoy.

My wife was actually telling me the other day that she had uploaded pictures to some website (Zazzle maybe?) where other people can buy shit with your pictures on it. She's sold several from our trip to St. Thomas. It's just that gorgeous there.