I wouldn't change the scene at all, I just wouldn't play the stupid games. Clearly you think you have to play by the current rules, even though it hasn't worked yet. Just keep trying the same thing, right Champ? The truth is you wish you had my life or rather a similar version of it and instead of taking notes you would rather tell me my way of doing things is wrong.
If I was 30minutes into a date and realized there was no chance of a future, I would end the date. Would you do that? Or would you be too worried about playing by someone else's rules? You have no one to blame for your failures, but yourself. Were you raised by a single Mom? What kind of male influence did you have in your life that made you so weak with women?
It still baffles me why you think you have all the answers at something you are a complete failure at. Are you a Seinfeld fan? You should try the Opposite George Approach, what is the worst that could happen?
What do you think playing stupid games even means? The advice you are giving makes you sound really demanding an inflexible. This would be a major turn off to most women. It is important to find someone you are compatible with but listing off a bunch of demands is gonna have girls bailing on you.
I am being factual about how I approach life. I am sorry my direct honesty hurts or offends you. I think you think it is arrogance, but it isn't. And it's not luck either, so what does that leave? Confidence? Yes, to a point, but like all humans I have my own set of insecurities. I think it just comes down to having enough confidence (real or fake as long as it pushes you) to go after what you want. I am very assertive and like I said the other day it can come off as combative to some, where as I look at as a big time saver. We only have a finite amount of time on this earth why waste it playing other people's games?
You guys keep assuming the worst from my posts and running with a narrative that just isn't reality. I am asking you to give me the benefit of the doubt that my stated game plan would be done in a charming, tactful, conversational way. I have said as much before yet the same attacks keep coming. You are trying to argue with me about the perceived delivery where I am just more focused the substance and what the end goal is. Of course you have to deliver the message in your own style, my advice is to just be as honest with her and yourself. You see a red flag then GTFO. Just be sure that what you perceive as a red flag is a something of substance. A hill you are truly willing to die on. I think Big P has a very unreasonable red flag meter, ie an ankle tattoo is a deal breaker for him.
Believe it or not all my posts are well intentioned. I wish you guys the same level happiness I have. Moving away from any personal digs etc, my advice is to be honest, stay true to your end game goals and don't waste your time. Remove all the other back and forth we have had and look at the previous sentence, that is all I am trying to convey. If you want to keep arguing with me have at it, but to what end? You aren't going to convince I am wrong.
You've been texting her you said? What's she like, what do you know about her so far? What do you guys have in common?Going to dinner and doing something tomorrow night. We'll see how it goes. Our conversations to this point have been fine. I actually find myself excited, which is kind of unexpected. As it was someone trying to set us up and I resisted for a long time I kind of just started it up as a fine I'll try.
My goal isn't really to get laid though, it's to find an actual relationship (that then results in lots of getting laid!). I'm too old and don't have the time or energy to just fuck around.
Were you raised by a single Mom? What kind of male influence did you have in your life that made you so weak with women?
Side note: Khane and Oblio you're both cool in different ways, but could you both stop shitting up the thread with your bickering? You sound like a married couple henpecking each other.
You drew first blood. You attacked me, you could have said that you disagree in a polite way instead you said my question was pointless and then you told me that my actions would are a sign that I don't understand sexual chemistry. Believe it or not I am fully aware of how important it is (to me at least) which is why I would not waste me time with someone that I would not have sexual chemistry with.Okay maybe the 2nd date for the sex stuff, but think it is important she gets a very clear understanding of you who you are and what you are about right up front. I would do my best to ask the right questions to understand what she is all about.
I returned your opening volley and again noted/indicated that I backed off my original statementI'm not sure there is a more pointless question to ask than "What is your desired sex frequency". There is no answer to that question.
Asking her how often she likes to have sex is probably a signal to her that you don't understand sexual chemistry and what drives that desire... more than anything else.
Again indicated that my checklist isn't my word for word scriptPardon me if you are the last person on this forum next to Big P that I would ever take relationship advice from. That said I did back off the first date comment, but in all honesty why waste your time on a dozen dates if the sexual compatibility isn't there?
Again backing offSorry for being blunt and direct here with forum bros!?!? I have tact and I am able to phrase things in the proper way to get the proper response. If you think I would phrase it that exact way or bring it up as the first question then I don't know what to tell you. There is a way to communicate in a very direct manner and still remain tactful. Like I said I backed off the first date, but no way I am getting beyond six dates without having some sort of an idea of what our sex life will be like should we enter into a long term relationship. You are creating a narrative in your head of how I would do/say things that is likely not accurate to the reality. I am not going to write a script for him like the first 20 offensive plays in a football game, the goal is to get in the End Zone and I am just telling him my offensive philosophy. He has to speak in his own words with his own style, I merely suggesting to be honest and upfront.
SameSounds like you need to read the multiple times I backed off the "first date" comment.
More of the sameDude read my follow ups, stop with this bullshit narrative.
More more same sameThe whole point of my post was to advise being upfront/honest and not to play games.
Lastly, just stop the bullshit narrative comments like interrogation/robotic etc. I have stated multiple times I would do it tactfully. I would work all these topics/questions into the conversation in natural way, if you keep arguing the contrary you are not arguing in good faith.
Admittedly my first post wasn't as eloquent as it could have been because I was in the middle of work and rushed the response. That said, I still believe that cutting through the BS is the right way if you are looking for a partner/long term relationship. If you are looking to get laid, then that is a different ball game.
To get things semi back on topic with dating advice... My advice to anyone who wants dating advice is: Talk to women about it. They give much better advice. Best wingmen I ever had (really, the only good ones) were women. They know what to do and can get you laid better than you can. Even something as simple as not knowing what to wear on a first date with a chick you actually like, text a picture to a female friend and run your look by her. Good way to get any needed advice and get a confidence boost when you're getting it right.
Did it out of love. I think with the proper setting and mediator, you and Khane could become good friends.lol at calling in Amod.
Did it out of love. I think with the proper setting and mediator, you and Khane could become good friends.
Ehhh, have you met a woman that knew what she wanted? Also, women hate each other.Talk to women about it. They give much better advice.
About when did you two first start dating?The plan was I would call her to make sure she was done with her day and then come pick her up to go to a party at my friend's house. Because her roommate was in her ear (for what reason we can only guess was jealousy) she (my wife) answered the call and said something to the effect of things are going to fast and she thought she should stay home that night and hang out with her roommate. The only problem I could tell they weren't her words, they were totally out of character from every other convo we had had over the past week. They were her roommates words, so I asked probing questions as to where this was coming from and why was it the polar opposite of what she was saying just a few hours earlier at the Gym. In some many words she said they were her roommate's words. So I told her just like I did on the first date I don't play games. I said I am sorry you feel this way, but I am not dating you and your roommate. I told her I would see her around and I wished her all the best. I wasn't mean or rude I was just direct, we said our goodbyes and I was bummed because I really thought she could have been the one. The phone rang 30 seconds later and she was singing a different tune. I didn't make her beg or anything, but I did make it clear that it came across as a huge red flag. She apologized and said what she really wanted was for me to come pick her up, so I did and the rest is history.
I don't have overly much to say this point. Seems like down to earth relaxed good person. Our ideal scenarios for good relaxing nights and identical. Good sense of humor, doesn't take things too seriouslyYou've been texting her you said? What's she like, what do you know about her so far? What do you guys have in common?